How To Take Care of Your Body By Taking Care of Your Mind

I will be one of the first people to say that I don't have the healthiest relationship with my body.

Some days I hate it, some days I love it. Some days I could care less about any of this, and I just let myself exist. Unfortunately, those days are rare.

I used to constantly talk down about myself. I used to look at myself in the mirror and think I was ugly, fat, and so many more mean things.

When I was growing up, my Mom was married to a man who owned a martial arts school. I used to go into the studio and dance after hours, and there was a whole wall of mirrors. I was so uncomfortable with my body and the way I looked, that sometimes I would dance with the lights off. Just so I didn't have to see myself.

I felt like my dance moves were embarrassing, and I felt like I was making a fool of myself. They always say to dance like nobody's watching, but it is truly very hard to do that! When I think back, I probably had some pretty good moves. I was trained casually in dance styles like hip hop and musical theatre, and I have a good sense of rhythm. I was just scared to see what I looked like.

I started looking into my weight from a very young age. Even before I was monitoring my weight, I was watching myself in the mirror. I was looking at myself from a side angle, seeing how big my belly was. Seeing if I had a double chin. Seeing how big my thighs were. Did you know that young girls' self esteem starts to plummet around the age of eight years old. That's grade 3.

Once I was old enough to weigh myself, I counted calories. I didn't always do it, but I would go off and on between counting calories and binging. I did this for years, from the age of 12 to the age of... a few months ago. I'm turning 26 in a few weeks. So that's a long time to always be worried about numbers. To always be worried about what you were putting in your mouth, and if you could afford to put it in your mouth, and if you would be able to work off the calories later if you did put it in your mouth.

I'm not here to tell you how to live your life, to diet or not to diet, or that you can't count calories. I'm just saying that it didn't work for me. You know what worked for me? I worked on my mental health and spirituality, and all of a sudden I lost 20 pounds. Of course, it links back to a lifestyle change, but I made that lifestyle change only because I was trying to better myself. Not because I wanted to lose weight.

I think that it's important to recognize that there are many different ways to live a healthy life. Some people like to exercise, and some people prefer not to. Also, we have to recognize that many different body types can still lead healthy lives. Some people are just built a little bigger, and some people are built a little smaller. We can't make people exist in our molds, in our bubbles. We can't expect them to fit the image of who we want them to be. It's absolutely not fair.

Be mindful of the way you talk to your body and about your body. Be mindful of the way you talk about the bodies of others, or better yet, don't pay any attention at all.

I am at a point in my life where I love my belly. I love the proportions of my body. I love that when I shake my ass, it jiggles. I love that my body is so strong and has supported me through so much bad shit.

Taking care of your mind is a good way to start taking care of your body. These things really do go hand in hand.