satire
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns
At the Bottom of a Septic Tank
Since my husband taught school, we didn't have excessive amounts of extra money. Actually, I didn't really understand the concept of extra money - but that is a different topic. To support his first income, he pumped septic tanks after work, weekends and summers. He repeated whenever the opportunity arose, "I don't know which is the shittier job, teaching or pumping sewage." He really cracks himself up.
Brenda MahlerPublished 4 years ago in FamiliesPush, push, push...it's a little shit out there
Soooo…it’s been a bit of a tough shitty week lol. This lock down is getting a bit much …not for me, but for the kids…and then me…
Lisa MacleanPublished 4 years ago in FamiliesThe Unknown Call Turns into a Prank
A look of fear flashed into my eyes, my heartbeat sickeningly in great pounding thumps, sounding right up in my ears. An uncomfortable silence prevailed in the room. “What will happen if ever my mistake is out in the open?” I whispered under my breath, hidden in the darkest corner under my bed away from the glare of prying eyes which started to appear in my mind.
Nusrat Khan JuhoorPublished 4 years ago in FamiliesTᕼE ᗷEᗩTᔕ Oᖴ ᒪᗩᑎEᗩᑌ᙭
The Beats Of Laneaux ‘Every morning it happens like this.’ Tabatha thinks to herself as she wakes up with a splitting headache. The house bumbles of a thunderous noise. “Ugh!” Tabatha yanks herself out of bed pissed, frustrated, but most of all annoyed. She quickly puts on her robe, bolts out of her room, runs down two flights of stairs, then kicks open the basement door. ‘I’m going to ring this little mutha...’ Her eyes are in disbelief when she notices that on this morning it is not only her little brother beating away at the drums, but also her older sister on guitar, her father blowing a saxophone, and her beautiful mother on vocals. It was at this moment that Tabatha realizes that her family was much different than most.
A Perfect Summer
I read all my emails. I do not know why. My mother says it is because I am afraid to miss anything. My oldest daughter believes it is because I am OCD. My wife thinks (tongue in cheek) I am looking for the answer to the mystery of life.
David MarsdenPublished 5 years ago in Families- Top Story - November 2018
Thanksgiving Dinner Table Talk
Ah Thanksgiving, that perfect time of the year when we get to stuff our faces with our families while making meaningful conversation with people that we may not have seen in quite some time. A beautiful holiday it is. In order to ensure Thanksgiving goes as smooth as possible, here are some tips to start conversation at Thanksgiving dinner because with food, football, and festivities what could possibly go wrong?
Adam PhillipsPublished 5 years ago in Families An Early Thanksgiving
There's entirely too many Mammy dolls and statuettes in this house. It's like stepping into another realm, one which I don't blend in to. Grandma and Grandpa Mac's house, which Grandpa built with his own two hands. Everything is immaculate, orderly, pristine. I am out of my element among family members, their intrusive questions briefly answered with forced smiles. The smell of food wafts through house, as does gossip about church stories and how good God is for sparing Uncle James' house from water damage. I guess the other unfortunate waterlogged neighbors' house weren't worth God's attention.
Lies to Tell a Scottish Kid
Parents do it. Grandparents do it. The Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy are all tall tales told to our kids to help them understand parts of everyday life. Sometimes though, a gullible kid is just too much fun to resist. Here are a few lies told to Scottish kids to make the lives of a busy parent a bit easier....
Rosalyn GramsPublished 6 years ago in FamiliesYoung Mama Shit Story
Hello, all. First and foremost, my name is Maria and if you could not tell by the title of this post, I am in fact, a young mom. Long story short, I met my now-husband, then-conflicting boyfriend in 2015. Five months later, I was a pregnant senior in high school. Yes, I know that escalated quickly. I’ll probably leave the long story for another time.
Maria MarinoPublished 6 years ago in FamiliesSmile If You're Happy
The white blouse had been a bad choice. Barbara didn’t have to look down to see the dribble of ketchup that had fallen onto her stomach. Almost all of her shirts had the same stain due to her fondness of french fries. It was the one thing she couldn’t give up. Henry had suggested it, even pushed her many a time to let the habit die but so far it hadn’t and she wasn’t really planning on it.
Sarah McDivittPublished 6 years ago in FamiliesThose Good Old Days
In those good old days we talked about, we lived on a little farm in a three roomed house on a hill side. I loved its rustic charms. Its roof homemade shingles, big cracks in the floor, no curtains at the window. No screen on the door.
Patricia KennedyPublished 6 years ago in FamiliesLessons in Step-Parenting
Lesson One: Meeting Your New Step-Child So, you’ve decided to get married to someone who already has kids! Well, good for you! No sense in ruining your own body or risking premature hair loss.
Charlotte StranahanPublished 6 years ago in Families