satire
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns
Lessons in Step-Parenting
Lesson One: Meeting Your New Step-Child So, you’ve decided to get married to someone who already has kids! Well, good for you! No sense in ruining your own body or risking premature hair loss.
Charlotte StranahanPublished 6 years ago in FamiliesParenting a Teenager
The night around them lay heavy. Every sound was something sinister... Oh, wait. Wrong story. This one is much more terrifying, I'm afraid - and there are no heroes. No one to save you. All you can do is walk slowly through the darkness, and pray for the light to come - and come it will, but it will take its dear time. "It can't be that bad." You think, scoffing at my title as you gaze lovingly at your rosy cheeked, adorable chubby fingered toddler. "My baby could never become the stuff nightmares are made of." I was that naive and delusional once - and then my child became a pre teen. She was so sweet, thoughtful, and considerate; every bit the angel that yours is right now. If I concentrate hard enough I can still remember the sound of her giggling, and how it felt to be her best friend, respected, the center of her world. Then, the inevitable happened. She became twelve, and Aunt Flo found her. Suddenly my sweet, considerate child became this hormonal, moody thing that only wanted me around if I was a convenience for her. Not just during "That time of the month." Oh no. Don't delude yourself into thinking it's only then. I went from momma to mom and when she's annoyed (which is oh so often) or mad Muh-Therrrr. Just like that. Just like how it's spelled. I assure you. Now instead of hugs, kisses, and smiles I get eye-rolling, huffing, and stomping, or - my personal favorite - the sarcastic, rude remarks and ever popular "must get the last word in no matter the cost."
Jennifer CulbrethPublished 7 years ago in FamiliesNose Candy
The stench was unbearable; the particles that were floating their merry way about my head, as they rose up on the thermal of a steamy waft of anal produce; could easily be imagined to have their own universal atmosphere, each with their own sun and moon to collaborate a dance with.
Steve WatkinsPublished 7 years ago in FamiliesEnough With the Parenting Trends
Over the past few years, many mommies and daddies alike, have been finding new ways to raise their children. The old ways have been tossed in the trash and called “irrational.”
Kitchen Politics
The late great master Leonard Cohen from 'Democracy'.. “from the homicidal bitchin' that goes down in every kitchen to determine who will serve and who will eat."
Krow FischerPublished 7 years ago in FamiliesThe Price of Empathy
I recently read an article ominously titled “Being a good parent will physiologically destroy you, new research confirms”. The one subtitle casually read: Empathizing with your kid is great but it comes at a price.
Abellona TPublished 7 years ago in FamiliesNo Matter How Together We Seem, Mommies Lose Their s#%$ Sometimes, Too
Every morning I wake up at 5am so I can shower and do my hair, have my coffee and make breakfast for my amazing family by 7am. The boys (ages 5 and 10) are at the table dressed, backpacks in hand, for breakfast promptly at 7am. The whole family eats breakfast together, and then it's off to school for the boys as the baby wakes up for her morning feeding and my husband gets ready for his day.
Laura McCormickPublished 7 years ago in Families