Is it possible I was always meant to be single?

There was a time in history that the normal path for people was to find someone and get married. However, as time evolves, I feel like it is changing. Now there are more people that say that they are going to stay single. That they have no desire to date and plan to live the rest of their life being single. A lot of that is a very positive thought. The thought that you complete yourself, that you don't need a man to complete. Or maybe it's that your kids complete you and that is all you need. The dynamic has shifted so much from what it uses to be. Women can pay their own bills, build their own lives, and do it on their own. I am not saying that sometimes we don't need a man, or that men are not good in something, either. Sometimes I think that I can do it, but I would like it if I had a man to do it for me. Maybe my path is that I pay for a man to do it for me. As I move forward, I am considering what my future will look like and what I really want.

Many years ago, before I had kids, I was working as a manager of a retail store. A woman came into the store, she said that in a past life she was married to the third God and because of that he sends her information. (Yes, she said the third God, whatever that means.) She bought a wallet, and tried to give it to me, saying that she had done something to me in a past life and had to make it right. She then said that I was bad in a past life, and that my punishment would be that I never get married. Of course, I thought that it was totally crazy, and bullshit. I also thought it was very funny. If that was my big punishment, no problem. The funny thing about this is that at the time I was thinking that maybe my path was not meant to be standard. That maybe my future looked different from the norm. That was a fact that I hadn't yet shared with anyone. So it was interesting timing for me.

I didn't put any value into this lady, of course. It's a crazy thing to think about. I remembered it only because it was so crazy. Now after everything that I have been through I am considering that maybe that is true. That maybe I am not meant to be married. Is it possible that someone is born to be single?

Really, I am beginning to think that is okay. I know that there are fantastic and amazing men out there. That can give me everything that I need and want. I know that my past relationship is not the norm for what is meant to happen with relationships. I am not judging all men because of what happened to me in my past.

Furthermore, I just think that maybe I mean to be on my own just with my kid. I am beginning to think that is totally okay and totally normal. It's possible that an amazing and fantastic man will come into my life and totally change my mind. However, I don't think that actively trying to date is something that I want to do. If I am not trying to date, then I need to be okay with being totally single. Really for me, I feel there are two things. Either you need to be actively dating or you need to be okay with being single. Maybe not forever, that's not for everyone, but at least for now.

I read Isabella Rossellini say that she is not dating as she doesn't want to listen to someone else breath. That is a preaching moment for me. Especially from me, a person that lives with so many people. I can't wait until I can have my own place again with my kid and live in peace. Where I don't have to listen to someone else breath or eat again.

-T