The disorienting effects of hitting the reset button

...And how to go about refocussing to start afresh.

So it's been a while since I have written a blog post and posted something that I consider worth while on my public social media.

Many who follow me will know I have been on a bit of a journey of re-discovery when it comes to how I serve people online.

I recently took a little detour into the world of MLMs. How? You ask in shock, perhaps bemusement or even disgust. Well, it all started with my love for fitness and the positive effects I saw this had on my physical, mental and emotional health. I joined an online fitness group and absolutely loved it - especially in the last 18 months of surfing multiple lockdown waves. I'll say it first-hand: being plugged into a community with people who love the things you love is a great way to see through a pandemic.

So, the nature of MLMs is to hook either the people lacking purpose or the people who love the benefits of the product. I was the latter, but in many respects I also fell into the former. Not because I lacked purpose, but because being in a pandemic put me in a position where enacting my purpose was thwarted. In other words, how was I going to inspire and encourage others when I couldn't even meet up with them?

Enter joining the ranks of online coaching.

Without getting into the inevitable details of why MLMs should be avoided at all costs - there is enough content out there to inform you about that, start here if you want to know more - I just want to make clear that I don't regret finding out for myself what it all entailed and seeing first-hand how the system works.

It doesn't escape me that D & I were fortunate enough to afford this detour. I recognise that is not the case for many and actually some get into such businesses hoping to succeed, thrive and be the 1%. The crux, however, is the system was built for the majority of people to never be the 1% - it's set up for you to fail (and it's communicated that the reason you're not making it is down to your efforts). However, if you ever succeed, you are in effect succeeding off the back of 99% of people failing - at least that's where your income is coming from. That is not something I want to build from or be a part of. Done.

So, a detour.

However, the ramifications of said detour has meant weeks if not months of recenter-ing. It's tough to explain but when you allow something that big to enter your life it completely reshapes how you interact with the world. Naturally, if your business was to promote a healthy lifestyle (and you want to be authentic) it means living out that lifestyle for yourself. So, before you know it, your whole life becomes and surrounds that lifestyle - what you buy, what you eat, what you read, what you post online, your thoughts, your intentions for the day, what fills your day... even what fills your dreams.

So what do you do when you need to start unravelling from something that intertwined itself into every crevice of your life? Where do you even start? These have been my go-to's...

1. Your ultimate why.

Honestly, knowing my why - people must be sick of it by now - but this is my gut check and foundation. This is the thing that got me comfortable with coaching at first, but is also the thing that got me out of it again. The why is so powerful because it doesn't stay stagnant - like us, it evolves, it has to! Because it's through our growth experiences that we get to figure out which things truly fall within it - not just on paper - but in reality. Through knowing how coaching with Beachbody was not for me, I was able to further define my why to include the following four words: 'to inspire and empower others to see what they're capable of...through authenticity and integrity.' Four words that make a world of difference. Four words that showed me why being part of a corporation like Beachbody would never really help me achieve my ultimate why, because I couldn't do that with integrity - regardless of how many people I was inspiring or empowering! It took a little while, but once I saw what building a coach business with them truly meant, I saw that I couldn't stay true to my morals, my values or myself.

2. Your values.

Closely linked to your why, your values help shape who you are and want to be in the world. As a Christian, I know that my values are closely linked to who God calls me to be, how I live and how I interact with other people. Going back to my values when hitting the reset button means I have had to ask myself the fundamentals: "why am I here?", "how can I make a difference?", "how am I spreading Christs' love to those around me?"

Posing the fundamentals makes the transition from one thing to another much easier. These three questions alone (not an exhaustive list by the way) instantly revealed to me that though one door has shut, there are many more to open because there are so many ways I can make a difference, show God's love and live in purpose. I don't have to be limited by the initial path I was trying to build. Or any path for that matter.

3. The basics - what makes you, you?

Detangling from the web that was that season of my life meant I had to remind myself of the things I did before that time - *cough* blogging *cough*. So many things make up who I am and what I love. The difficulty for me in this was, I also love starting new things. So going back to my "old loves" gave me the feeling that I wasn't moving forward. But of course that's not true!

It took a little while but I remember learning a few years back how important it is for me to write. Writing is cathartic for me, it often comes from the heart - it's what helps me process, shed and keep moving forward. So going back to the basics of who I am has re-centred me. It's brought me back to my home-base, my comfort-zone, so that I can start rebuilding. So, what does this look like for you? What activity helps you refocus and process?

Because I have been a journal keeper for years, I picked up an old journal a few weeks ago and read a prayer I wrote down back then. It was beautiful to read where I was then and even more amazing to see where I am now and the journey I've been on. If you don't have activities that help you refocus, then I would suggest start a journal for sure.

4. Shed the old; look on with hope.

I love this quote:

Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come. - Lucy Larcom.

Hitting the reset button with hope helps us focus forward not backwards. Like with most things in life, when we change our course we have to allow our body and mind time to readjust to the new because it's in their nature to learn and remember.

I know for myself I had to make sure I was ready and open for something new. This meant for a time not engaging with people and things that were part of my old journey - even those I considered friends. And as painful as this was - I am a big people person - it was necessary. Otherwise, I would always be looking back, remembering the good times, the relationships built, the inside-jokes... but like all break-ups, there needs to be shedding of old.

I had to remind myself that doing this didn't mean I was a bad person. Instead, I was setting up healthy boundaries to enable me to move forward and to create space for whatever else is in store for me.

Funnily enough, not long after I let the coach thing go, something else came knocking. But I'll leave that for another time. :)

Posted from my blog site: keshiafirth.com. Feel free to visit to see more content. Or if you have an MLM experience you want to share, I'm on IG: @keshiamfirth