Solo Meal Dates Should Be More Common

Often times have been lonely times. I'm a person that left my home country and has seemed to lose all the so-called friends I had in the US. When I'm in the states, I'm currently afraid to call it America because of a few people arguing that the two continents and all 35 countries are called "America".

Being back in the US is causing me more trauma than I had ever imagine it would. Here I am isolated, the only person that I know that lives in this area are 2 of my siblings. One an older brother who never stays in contact, the other is my sister who has 3 children and several jobs. She is always busy but never really engaged in activities with me as a friend or to just 'hang out'.

In my country of residency people were always happy to be in my presence as I was to be in theirs. Talking and laughing was an everyday event. Sharing my meals was common place too. Back in the US people aren't willing to socialize as much and things are very expensive. Though social media posts of people out and about are still circulating on social media.

I decided to take myself out to lunch and it made me feel good even though the place was filled with happy, smiling families and couples. It hurt knowing that I won't have any more of those moments not with my family who has completely ignored me for years now. Even in my battle with breast cancer. Solo meals are now a way of life for me!

I'm not a drinker but I do love a good margarita, I ordered one to relax myself. I hadn't imagined that early in the day there would be so many people already there, the place had just opened an hour prior.

I talk a big talk about going it solo but when solo is your everyday life it gets very hard. I held back tears from time to time. The staff at this local dive were always kind, the made it much easier for me to enjoy myself and not wallow in self-pity for for the afternoon.

The sun was low and it had been raining for several days. Getting out was important as my mental health had been declining badly. Leading up to the weekend I was flooded with stressful situations. Eating a proper meal hasn't been a concern lately but taking care of myself is now a top priority. Having a situation where you're behind a screen for hours a day won't help either.

The long lockdown and the after affects of a worldwide pandemic has reshaped the lives of many people. I met a nurse that refuses to ever stop wearing a mask, talked to older people that have become disenchanted with their lives. Isolation is a course that people have become foes with.

Doing things you love or used to love are important, even though at times like these it feels like a chore instead of enjoyment. Pushing myself to take walks to the store, or having a simple meal alone. It was my favorite food Mexican, then there is Korean and pizza is always an easy, delightful go to.

Solo I was able to appreciate more of the scenery at this local Mad Mex. There is so much to take in and being alone I saw more than ever. I read articles from other writers, I was in tune with myself the entire time. I never focused much on the fact that I was all alone and couldn't just sit in that space. I made plans for what next.

Without others to focus on it is just me and for some reason or another this is where God has placed me. I need to be better at solo dates, self care, loving myself and focusing on me only. I never imagined to be this young and all alone and early on I was angry with myself for all that I've done for others, forsaking myself at every turn.

Anger I had to learn to let go of to move forward in my life, I know something bigger is coming and I need to be prepared for that. Focusing and listening to yourself gains clarity, people will often distract from your goals and nothing like a solo meal out brings you into focus.

Thank you for reading 🙏🏽 Please consider buying a coffee for Lacey's House efforts in Gender Equality & Children's Rights as it tries to move international.

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