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Pick your Battles

- Bite your Tongue -

By Jay KantorPublished about a year ago Updated 7 months ago 3 min read
16
Artist Depiction Co-Creator © Terrilynn Cook

Author © Jay Kantor

– The Un-Battle Face-Off –

Just bite your tongue – Better than a horn-poke in the eye. I don't know if the 'Rhino' is a HE? But, with its Hump it may be at least a Trans-Beast: The Horny Beast is destined for battle - Put up your Dukes!

Choose your Battles: Life in the way? I'm often just stunned by all of the 'Choices' to Go along to Get along. Surely not an original concept, perhaps even overworked. But always personal 'standout' memories for most of us, that often just lay dormant, that we had chosen to have the 'wisdom' to overlook for the better good.

There are so many occasions when your best action is no action. When I knew my wife had her mind set on a course of action, I learned that any points I state to illustrate my opinion would be a lost cause; a cause of irritation! I bit my tongue, and yes, my tongue was often raw from frequent biting. No sense in trying to dissuade her! Strike a chord with any of you? After so many years I certainly knew the wisdom of not being trapped by choosing obvious battle-trap-ploys! Let it go ~ Carry on to the high road!

There are everyday instances where it's easier to just skip-it rather than spin-up avoidable unnecessary angst. Would she have been more attentive if I had mentioned these things to her? Not a chance; no winners here.

Compromise - Pick your Puddle -

As an aside I once had a girlfriend that just loved the rain. She’d take off her shoes, grab her raincoat and take a walk. Obviously, it makes it much easier if you don’t have to jump the puddles ~ simply walk through them ~ The Path of least resistance! How many times do we back-off in our lives, to keep the peace, especially when our off-the-cuff rants will have no meaning - just no % in it - we're usually the only ones that might be satisfied; a temporary fix.

Pick your Battles - Less is more theory - Best way to close a deal as a very practiced 'Schlepper' my motto always was - Talk~Less - and talk about Lassie or the Weather once the deals-a-deal; nothing more!

As the title implies, our twists and turns in life often begin with what are seemingly small choices. Maybe that’s why young people once consulted with elders within a tribe or family when facing tough decisions. When much younger, it always looked like I could just choose an alternative if my initial choice didn’t work out. The cost of losing a few years of one's life seems like small potatoes when you are certain you will live forever.

Choosing battles to stand up to or choosing to display wisdom by walking forward can also be a tricky minefield. Most people don’t love conflict, and you must hone your decision making skills to recognize when another person is actually pushing you into a situation for their gain only. Though tough or embarrassing to admit, bullies who get their way with us are going to appear in everyone's life. Sometimes that bully isn’t blatant, as in the case of someone we care for. It’s often just easier to surrender to the control of another we’d rather not right-fight with. If you need to don blinders to live with that fence of control, it is a definite signal to 'squeaky wheel' down another path.

Be selective of the problems - arguments and confrontations that you get involved in. Instead of putting up your dukes, save your time for the things that truly matter. Fight in-your-face battles or turn the other cheek.

Life is like a coin, spend it any way you want, but once it's gone it's gone — Is it Worth it? Save your Strength —

Plato ~ Love is a serious mental disease ~

Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, Cal

'Senior' Vocal Author

Co-Creators, INK

Family
16

About the Creator

Jay Kantor

Retired: Write for "The Kids Someday"

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Comments (12)

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  • Shirley Belk7 months ago

    Wisdom!

  • Shanon Norman10 months ago

    https://allpoetry.com/poem/17254298-Sucker-Punched-by-Shanon-Norman

  • Shanon Norman10 months ago

    It's always sage advice even if not everyone has heard the extended speeches supporting the cliche. The problem with cliche is that it makes people complacent, ingrateful, lazy, and when life springs forth unexpectedly, they are shocked because they didn't expect it, like a sucker punch. I prefer to balance the cliche of "pick my battles" with an understanding that sometimes battles are in my face when I don't have a choice. I'm learning to explain and write the part about life that doesn't give us a choice.

  • Novel Allen11 months ago

    Though everyone should have a voice, peace dictates a biting of tongue. I like the idea of walking away and attacking it later. Hoping it does not fester and get worse. It all depends, one has to decide what works best for the better result.

  • C. Rommial Butler12 months ago

    Discretion is the better part of valor, not because we are unwilling to fight, but because we must pick the right time and place if we should want to honor the virtue on which we stand with the best chance of success.

  • Dana Crandellabout a year ago

    A great read, and a premise that I seem to be reminding myself of daily. I enjoyed your style. I've subscribed and will definitely be reading more.

  • Cathy Deslippeabout a year ago

    I enjoyed your writing. My husband and I came up with a solution: not saying things that would hurt or wish we never said. We would walk away and later talk it out, Picking your battles is a fantastic subject, Well Done

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    Great piece, and highly relatable.

  • Janet Carpenterabout a year ago

    Very well written. I've known too many relationships that break up over "small things" that somehow become "the last straw". One couple broke up over the definition of a door...no kidding...and another couple over possession of a flashlight in the dark! (Probably a metaphor in that one...maybe both! Ha!) Little things that irritate can build into bigger problems, and discussing things (even arguing sometimes) can be a healthy form of communication if done properly, but DEFINITELY picking your battles, tempered with a large dose of tolerance, goes a long way. Excellent article, Jay!

  • Wise words interspersed with lots of interesting colloquialisms. I enjoyed this.

  • Roy Stevensabout a year ago

    I think I'm just starting to recognize these moments quickly enough to actually have a chance to take your advice sometimes. I can be pretty slow off the mark Jay.

  • Denise E Lindquistabout a year ago

    I learned to say to myself, "Is it worth it? Is it worth my serenity?" Then when it is my husband knows how serious I am and then the ball is in his court. Most of the time though it just is not worth my serenity. I love the peace I have most of the time. I picked the right husband and he works on himself all of the time.

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