A Victim of Ignorance and Greed
Most of my adult life, I have been a renter or a guest. As a child, I was not expected to contribute financially to my mother's rent or mortgage payments. However, after high school graduation, as an independent adult, I was expect to afford my own housing. That expectation is not unfair, but for over 30 years, I have witnessed and experienced many leases or contracts or rental agreements that have been unfair and according to American history, illegal.
This month marks my first divorce and it should be finished by the end of the year. Knowing this was inevitable, I've been re-learning social media and new options for re-joining the ranks of single and dating life. It's been 13 years since I've been in the arena so I'm definitely rusty. I think I still have attractive facets to bring to the singles tables, but learning about it again after over a decade has been challenging.
The Existential Woman
Each day that passed in October was slow. Shanna recalled the past over and over again in her mind. Time spent with family. Time spent with her brother. Time spent with boyfriends.Time spent in school. Time spent on work. So much time, so many memories in her mind. Always the calender reminding her of the days, the weeks, the months, the years, the seasons.
The Existential Woman
Norman and Shanna shared his small house. He had added an apartment to the house where the old garage used to be. Shanna had thought at first that he had done so for either him or her to live in and enjoy, so that they wouldn't have to be "room mates" anymore. But that wasn't on his mind at all. Instead he signed up for some program through some charitable organization which helped place homeless people in suitable housing. He got some kind of kick back for his donation.
The Existential Woman
Being back at her brother's house did not make Shanna happy. He'd inherited the house over two years ago, and for all the money he'd spent on this and that the house still looked awful. Sure there had been some improvements, but none that the neighborhood would notice. The fence in the backyard hidden to any walking by. The new refrigerator, stove, washer, dryer, would not be considered cosmetic improvements. The watered, raked, and mowed grass would only be considered basic maintenance. Shanna's paintings or decorations would only be considered "silly" or "temporary", not substantial or valuable. So when Shanna sat around his house while he was at work day to day, she tried to blind herself to these details.
You're probably going to think this article is silly. That I'm just a "stupid" girl who fell for an obvious trick. Perhaps there is some truth in that dismissive and insensitive statement, but it is more true to me that there is a question of more importance that is at hand at this time. What is the internet really good for? What was it really designed for? Did it help humanity become better people? Did it help us with socialization or progress? Or did it just make our conditions worse and increase the risk of crime and apathy? Should it be used solely for entertainment purposes or was there any chance of using it to level the inequities that the economy or elitists are always so clever at keeping up like indestructable towers? I do not have the answers, so I will simply share my personal story about how the internet can break your heart.
The Existential Woman (p34)
It took about an hour for Shanna to set up her tents. She had two, one for sleeping and one for lounging. The sleeping tent was meant to be a storage tent. It stood taller than her, which she liked for standing up in, and it was arched on the top. To put that tent together and up it takes a lot of patience. She put it up slowly and carefully, drinking as much water as she could in the heat to keep her cool and focused.
The Existential Woman (p15)
It was Monday again and Shanna knew that her Mondays were usually about getting tasks done. Although Norman had washed a load of laundry last night, he didn't put the clothes away. She stripped the beds and began the loads of linens. The light in the bedroom kept flickering out and it was annoying because Shanna couldn't clean the room in the dark.
The Existential Woman (page 14)
Saturday was a long day for Shanna, yet by Sunday she could hardly remember what happened. She had said several prayers for her son. She had written some poetry and read some poetry. She had eaten and bathed. She had taken a nap. She had sat in the backyard and looked the wild weeds growing. She had picked up some donation food for the cubboard. She had begun watching a new show on Netflix. She had perused through a magazine. She had folded some clothes and hung some of Norman's clothes. Besides that, the day was long and forgettable. Mostly she just remembered thinking about Maui's fire and devastation. All those people now homeless. She knew exactly how they felt. It had happened to her too many times. She spent at least a few hours each day thinking about a way to create a lifestyle that was homeless-proof, but she still hadn't come up with it. She would watch the birds a lot. How they would build a nest,but not stay there long. That had to be the way. Just keep flying. Let the air be home. Let any tree be home.
The Existential Woman (page 13)
The author of Shanna's life was interrupted. Chapter 13 in the series could not be told. Perhaps it was a punishment because the Author wanted to make a living out of writing. Perhaps it was some plague against Freedom of Speech. Chapter 13 was rejected.
The Existential Woman (page 12)
Although she was nervous and worried, Shanna was able to get to sleep. She awoke on Friday morning around 7ish. Her normal routine in play: coffee, computer, tasks. A basket of dried laundry was set on the coffee table. The beds were still unmade. The floor and litter box were clean enough. She needed to go get another pack of cigarettes and check her bank balance. She was worried about her son and about her money situation. Stress. "Retirement is not all it's cracked up to be," she grumbled.
Big Rat's Review on Scammers
How many companies have scammed me in the past few years? Let me count...um.... Nevermind, let me just start dropping names like they're hot. Here is my big list of Scammer Companies for all those people who are naive like me and will get taken advantage of unless someone like me who has already been duped gives you a FAIR warning.