Mistaken Heart

A time away and a tug at the heart causes it to beep. Having our own path to take, I focus on me and growing beyond belief. Practicing teachings and taking care of the inner child that is within. Love I tried to experience and it crumbled to pieces. I ventured to different lands in search for hope and peace, only to find trauma and scars that will forever run deep. As I struggle to heal and build new walls, I focus to protect that inner child that never got the love he deserved.

As the years go by and the love I’ve seen around me, I see loneliness and fake personas not wanting to be alone. Sometimes I feel like it’s not for me and for a time I thought I wasn’t deserving of it. The thing is, the type of love I desire is not the same for others. The love I covet is a unique love that most people don’t understand.

The love I want to share is something that takes a certain person to embrace. It’s easy to be wanted now and I’ve learned to love me more than ever. The pain has been managed and the traumas has been locked in the back of my mind only to be viewed every so often as a reminder of what was.

I’m scared that I won’t ever love like I did before. I fear what made me happy for love has made me complacent and syndical to the idea of what being in love feels like. Boundaries has developed only to put people through hardships to prove their loyalties.

Relationships (mostly) both platonic and romantic has been under microscope to make aware of red flags to find exit plans for myself. Codependency has been broken and fear of commitment has increased.

Trust has been something to be earned rather than given so easily in hopes of putting it all on the table. Given so many a chances to let people in and now my heart is drained. Drained of the idea of falling in love. Drained of feeling loved. Drained of trusting the wrong people.

The mistaken heart that asked for too much just to be burned at the stake. Now I just care for this little guy that so desperately wants to be loved. The one that wasn’t a priority when he was young. The one that nobody dropped everything for when things hit the fan.

Spent the time to find what’s right, discover the light thats already on the other side. You and you can know what to do, show yourself that you are your hero. Let them see what they see no matter what it may be.

Let them see you as a villain or the guiding light that they deny to see. Let your power bloom, right and supple, just be the one that is authentic and humble. Mind can be a struggle so work it through, with or without others, peace of inner self is the goal of being in tune.

The person that cares too much. I’ll be the one to be there for the tough times as well as the good. I’ve been so many things to others and that little one with the mistaken heart is left not nurtured and cared for.

Self healing becomes so healing that what’s left to grow is what we need to breathe is for him to fly. Breaks the winds of time. Soar through the clouds of judgement while making their dreams come true. Bucket list be damned because we going through checking them off faster than a sonic speed blast.