Lost and Found

The extended version (of an instagram post).

“Lost and Found: I thought I lost YOU!”

Four years ago, I found myself feeling lost, as I slowly lost function to one limb at a time.

I yearned to truly see and understand myself, not just in the eyes of others, but in my own reflection. I craved a deep connection with the woman I saw in the mirror.

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend an extraordinary event by @charli.burrowes for @bloomgirlshow at the @thomasdixoncentre that left me in awe about being SEEN! And then in THIS moment captured by the photographer at the after-party then truly impacted my personal journey. In this moment, he saw through my smile and urged me to be authentic. It was a wake-up call, a realization that I had been hiding behind a facade, concealing the battles I had been fighting within.

Four years ago, I experienced an injury at work that I rarely speak about. Though no one explicitly told me to stay silent, I felt the need to keep quiet due to an ongoing court case. Navigating the legal process alone IS a daunting task, and living with the chronic pain of CRPS, a condition stemming from my injury, added to the challenges.

But you know what’s even harder? Losing sight of who you truly are as the pieces of your identity shift and change. Losing sight of yourself and hoping that someone else remembers you and reminds you that you are still there somewhere.

Anger consumes me, a fiery force that burns within, fueled by the injustice I have faced in the common law case and the disability that has been imposed upon me. It is a relentless fury that stems from the societal issues we confront on a daily basis, particularly the pervasive ableism that permeates our world. The lack of justice and understanding surrounding disabilities only adds fuel to this raging fire, intensifying my frustration and indignation.

Yet, amidst the overwhelming anger, there is a glimmer of hope that flickers within me. It is a beacon of light that reminds me of the importance of change and the power of support systems. Change is not an easy feat, but it is essential for progress. It is through change that we can dismantle the barriers that perpetuate ableism in the creative industries as much as the disability issues and create a more inclusive and equitable society for all.

Support systems play a crucial role in this journey towards change. They provide the foundation upon which we can lean on during times of adversity, offering solace and encouragement. Whether it be friends, family, or organizations dedicated to advocating for the rights of individuals within the community and those with disabilities, these support systems serve as a lifeline, reminding us that we are not alone in our fight against ableism.

The significance of change and support systems cannot be overstated. They are the catalysts that propel us forward (hopefully not backwards) igniting a collective determination to challenge the status quo and demand justice for those who have been marginalized. It is through change that we can dismantle the deeply ingrained ableist attitudes and beliefs that perpetuate discrimination and inequality. It is through support systems that we should find the strength and resilience to navigate the complexities of our journey, knowing that we have a network of individuals who believe in our worth and fight alongside us.

Injustice is a bitter pill to swallow, particularly when it is rooted in ableism. It is a stark reminder of the work that still needs to be done to create a society that embraces diversity and inclusivity.

However, it is in the face of this injustice that we must find the courage to rise above, to channel our anger into action, and to advocate for change. Together, we can dismantle the barriers that hinder progress, and create a world where disabilities are not seen as limitations, but as unique qualities that contribute to the richness of our human experience.

I am on a journey of self-discovery, of finding the parts of myself that I thought were lost. It’s a process of unraveling the layers of pain and fear, and embracing the strength and resilience that lie within. I am learning to be unapologetically myself, to let go of the masks I’ve worn for so long.

This journey is not easy. It requires vulnerability, courage, and a willingness to face the darkness within. But I am determined to find myself again, to reclaim my identity and live authentically.

I may have felt lost, but I am slowly finding my way back. And in that process, I am discovering a version of myself that is stronger, wiser, and more compassionate than ever before. This is my journey of self-discovery, and I am ready to embrace it with open arms.

I big thank you to THE BLOOM GIRL WHO BLOOM CAN’T. Thank you for showing us SOMETHING REAL!

I look forward to being truly SEEN.

I paid to watch someone eat an cheeseburger and then tell the most real honest relatable story of her journey as an Artist. Narrator, writer and actress, all in one incredible performance. And an amazing team to create this amazing show.