Me and You
An apology letter
I’m sorry I hate you. I’m sorry I made a mistake. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you and all your good advice that I didn’t take.
I’m so sorry I have neglected you and worked you to death. I’m sorry I’m not enough for you. I’m sorry I get stuck in my head.
Im sorry I bite my lip and pretend that optimism is real. I’m sorry I neglected you so much, that now I just can’t deal.
I’m sorry you can’t forgive me and I can’t forgive you. I’m sorry you hate me and I can’t help hating you.
I hate all the weight you put on, and your feelings of pain. I hate that I eat less than one meal a day for you. You make me feel insane.
So I’m sorry you have trouble sleeping. I’m sorry I have trouble being awake.
But I’m sorry I don’t want to wait around for you, not for anyones sake.
And I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry you are me
and I am you.
So I write myself a letter of apology.
Because I hate everything
About me and hate everything about you.
I hate that I am Me and I am You.
Me and you
Love CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome)
By Angelina Raisa
CRPS is also described as the suicide disease because the pain is constant and has worse days randomly. It often affects a limb or more and is not known about among society. It’s also because it’s often an invisible disease, though patients suffer from allodynia this severe sensation to the skin; often described as biting insects crawling on the skin, lightning sharks, frostbite, burning sensations, and Barbwire; not all patients have visible symptoms. Those that do you have visible symptoms can appear bruised, swollen, temperature changes, frostbite and movement issues.
On the pain scale CRPS can reach 49/50 during a flare up.
#crps #complexregionalpainsyndrome #chronicpain #chroniceillness
There is no cure for CRPS and not enough awareness or support worldwide for those who suffer and their loved ones and support people.
It is hard to go through the court system if it is a work injury, as most the pain treatments are not covered.
It’s rare to find doctors that know what CRPS is when the sufferer meets a new doctor. The sufferer also do not wish for painkillers, they often wish for their careers back, their hobbies, their joys, their goals and healthy family relationships.
Unfortunately It is hard for CRPS patients to hold healthy family relationships or continue anything that once brought them joy or stability.
Due to the medications this CRPS patients need to take to manage their pain and the mental health issues that comes with it, the CRPS patient often cannot return to work.
Most patients participate in physio, graded motor imagery (GMI), pain management courses for four weeks +, reoccurring in GP visits, reoccurring pain specialist visits, reoccurring psychologists and psychiatrists visits and occasionally a specialist in another field.
There is an Australian and New Zealand Facebook group for CRPS sufferers and their families to share their stories and their pain. This is not enough. There needs to be more support and studies to find a cure or better pain management.
Wear orange every November while you grow your moe for movember, talk about it with your friends and family.
Learn more about CRPS
About the Creator
Angelina Raisa Voronainsky-Shigrov
Visual Communications & Social Media Specialist.
Photographer, Illustrator, Graphic Designer, Creative Writer, Content Producer & Curator, Editor, Columnist and Author. Passionate egalitarian. Now Art Appreciator. Disabled by CRPS.
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