It's all I have...

Elementary school and I'm 7 yrs old. My teacher hands my parents a note.

“Your child is squinting in class and is having a hard time seeing the board...”

Scheduled an eye appointment the next day.

Doctor exams my eyes and notices something off.

“She is 7 you say?” Asked the doc to my mother who states it to be so.

Rolls himself away; I rub my eyes.

“Watch her closely... she is showing signs of Glaucoma...”

Middle school, thick glasses, 13

I'm made fun of and reminded of my white pair of pants back when I was 8...

Too young to start my period and yet it happened.

Feeling stressed; parents are divorcing.

I see them unhappy...

Hear the fights getting worse each day.

“Why are my tattoo bandaids gone!?” I ask mother.

“Your father needed them... his hand got hurt..” She states to me...

I know why; the wall has large holes.

High School. 16, friends do not know of my cutting and desire for death.

Mother remarried and Father is prowling the clubs.

Eyeglasses are thicker; wearing a trench coat to hide a “Just in Case” situation.

Boys are … cute... he was cute...

“I love you” is a puppy dog love to your high school sweetheart...

until you hear about their cheating ways...

He leaves after graduation.

18th birthday sucked; bitch took my wine bottle!

Age 20... Father would rather protect his new wife than shelter his own blood...

Mother comes to rescue; Germany here I come.

Drinking nights, clubbing fun, good job.

Hans is Hot...

Back in the states; I regret it already...

Let us skip a few years.... to that first noticeable problem...

Age 23 to 25...

Glaucoma surgery in both eyes.

I have mini boobs on my eyes!

My eyes hurt still after recovery?

Left terrible relationship; no more pain killers/beer...

Recovery happens now!

I'm a new woman!

2014, June... I'm 27... Eye Exam.

“Doctor why so gloom? What's up?”

Flips papers aside on the table and sighs deeply...

“Well, your Glaucoma is stable but... the tissue in both eyes are rapidly depleting.”

Gripping my phone, I'm confused?

“Ms. Cruz... you are going blind in both eyes...”

He's joking... Where are the cameras?

“Your right eye has lost half the tissue to help you see...”

No... not true... He is lying! All men lie...

“I will be sending you to a specialist who can MAYBE help. We need more tests..”

Driving home... Keep it together.

Park.. keep it together...

Keep it together...

Locked door... am alone... just my cat with me...

I can't hold it anymore!

I'm nicknamed Banshee for a reason. I'm a friend to some awesome people in my life.

I have a good mother who tries so much for me...

I found love... I want to keep this love...

Anxiety...

Depression...

I drink wine... one glass...

When in pain, I deal with the pain; No Pain Killers!

34... my right eye has lost more tissue and it is noticeable when I cover my left eye. I expect it to be completely blind by the time I'm 40. My left eye is going as strong as it can be.

I'm an artist.... this is torture... I have no money saved and finding a job where I feel like a human being is difficult. I try and try each day and am reminded of my problem when I wake up. When I look in the mirror, try to draw in a sketchbook, looking at my favorite coffee shop menu. Crying hurts and strangely that Glaucoma does not run in my family. No one on the tree has it. I am just a special case and this deck was dealt with me... I wish it wasn't a part of my life but it is my life and I have to make the most of what I have left to view. I just want to see a clear sky for once...