I Divorced My Husband — Here Are 6 Things You Should Know

The first thing you need understand about marriage is that it is not like being in a regular relationship. Being married to someone brings with it certain expectations and duties. As a result, there may be more strain in a relationship. And, in many cases, no matter how pure the love, that pressure may really damage a relationship. You must understand that love is not always a sure thing.

Love isn't really something you can rely on on its own. A relationship has several elements. And there are a plethora of elements that you must consider if you actually want it to function. The fact is that even if you love each other, the chances are stacked against you.

Keep your emotions under check at all times.

Be logical. It's normal for you to become too emotional in your interactions. Just be careful not to allow your overwhelming emotions push you to make poor decisions in your relationship.

There is no such thing as over-loving someone.

Never withhold your affection. There is never enough love to go around, so continue to communicate your feelings for your lover.

No major personality changes are to be expected.

The person you marry will most likely be the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life. So, if you're still holding out hope that your spouse will ultimately change, you're sadly incorrect.

Meeting someone halfway requires two individuals.

When it comes to coexisting, compromise is key. And it's not enough that only one of you is always prepared to compromise. You should constantly try to meet each other halfway.

Don't feel the need to be completely self-sufficient all of the time.

Allow your mate to adore you. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be so self-sufficient all of the time. The goal of being in a relationship is to have someone you know will always have your back. And you should be aware that your spouse will want to feel wanted from time to time.

Being silent is almost never the wisest line of action.

Do not avoid disagreements. Express yourself. Don't be silent. Keep your emotions pent up inside. The only way the two of you will ever get intimate is if you remain open to each other.

Abrasive Startup

The way a disagreement talk (and marriage) begins is the most clear sign that it will not go well. A "harsh startup" occurs when a debate begins with criticism and/or sarcasm (a type of disdain). According to my study, if you start your talk on a bad tone, it will surely conclude on a negative note. The numbers tell the story: You can anticipate the result of a discussion 96% of the time based on the first three minutes of engagement.

The Legend of the Four Horsemen

Certain types of criticism, if allowed to run wild, are so destructive to a relationship that we refer to them as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

FINAL CONSIDERATIONS

The reality is that I have no regrets about anything that has occurred to me. In fact, I'm glad I went through that unsuccessful marriage. It taught me important life lessons that I really needed to learn for myself. And I feel I am not the only one to blame in this situation.

I was aware of my flaws, but the entire scenario was beyond my control. Because of all that has happened, I am now a more experienced, smarter, and stronger person. Divorce pushed me to confront things about myself that I would never have considered otherwise.