I Am The Thief

Introduction

I have to do this, whenever I feel like this I write a poem to cleanse my mind of my self-doubt and that usually works. This time I thought why not do a full-blown Vocal story?

This will not be depressing or doleful, and I say this many times, this is just to let people know it is normal to feel like this (I think).

There may be even poems in here because although I have taken a direction I really do not know what I am going to write.

Some people see that as "Writer's Block" but if you check Vocla's Resources you will see there are lots of prompts to kick the cobwebs away and get you writing. Check them out here:

Another part of this is that when I write it really lifts my spirits, well when I am writing on Vocal. When I am writing technical documentation for work writing becomes a bit of a chore but it is great when it is finished and I do get a bit of a lift but it's a bit like stopping hitting your head against the wall.

The Thief

Every story and poem that I write I think that it must have already been written by someone else, and I start doubting myself. I believe that people won't read or rate any work of mine because my name is on it no matter how good the work is.

Almost every day I think I should leave the Facebook Vocal groups I am a member of because I believe my work is well below the standard of everybody else in the group.

The thing is, it is maybe because I have those feelings that my work is as good as it is, and if that is the situation I need to keep believing that I am not good enough.

When I don't get contact from people that feeling becomes much stronger. My real problem here is that I am nothing but an attention addict, but again that fuels my writing. Part of it is fuelling this piece. It is 10:30 at night and I need to be up at 5:30 but I am writing this instead of doing what I should be doing, which is sleeping.

But back to the feeling that I have stolen someone else's work, I sometimes feel that because the twenty-six letters and ten digits were created and defined by someone else then I should not use them in my work. How mad is that?

Still, I do use the standard alphabet with some European accents to make it even more interesting like "é" or "ĉ" accents can make the most mundane prose interesting.

Though I doubt myself, the feedback I get from people tells me I should not doubt myself, but I also comment on others' works in the hope that they will reciprocate and often they do, but then I feel guilty if I don't comment on others' works because I miss them or am just too tired to appreciate and comment.

I also suppose this part of Todd Rundgren's "Ever Popular Tortured Artist Effect" which made me think of the beautiful music of Nick Drake which virtually nobody bought until after his suicide.

Twenty eight thousand reads of my Vocal stories have let me know that I am appreciated so if I ever do feel I am not getting enough attention.

It is late, and I am drinking some cherry-flavoured diet Pepsi, and I always say the Pepsi should taste like Pepsi but the cherry flavour is very nice.

Thank you for reading my ramblings.

I know that probably every word and phrase in here has been used by someone else, so if that makes me a thief then so be it.

The music, appropriately is "Stealin'" by Uriah Heep.