Falling in love before you were ready

You wanted romance so badly. You wanted intimacy so badly. You wanted partnership so badly. You were romanticizing the idea of lasting with someone that you forgot about your trauma bond. You feel broken inside and you want someone to mend you back together with love. You see people with their soulmates all the time. Why can’t you have that now?

You think to yourself, “I can be with someone I love if my person can really love me for everything that comes with me. We can work through the challenges of life thrown at us together. That’s the love I am looking for.”

You meet someone. You feel a deep soul connection with this person. You think to yourself, “This is it. I feel this is the person I have been looking for. I feel safe and at home with this person.”

You give your heart, mind, and soul to this person while thinking about how scared you are about how fast you fell in love with this person. You fell so quickly because you connected deeply on a spiritual level, no one else could trespass through your threshold. But being that you really did find the love you were looking for before you were ready (your trauma bond self was not ready) the person you fell in love with escaped from your friendship altogether.

Your thoughts of fear of really meeting the person you fell in love with before you were fully ready to embrace the beautiful passionate love pushed your person away energetically. You were enjoying the tv watching, the sex, the conversations with your person about anything and nothing… but while this was going on you were absolutely terrified that you found your love before you were ready. So, your person walked away and now you feel hurt.

You thought you were ready to fall in love because you wanted to love and to be loved. You wanted to start living the good life you see everybody else doing. You have been feeling jealous of those who found love that have been working out. You think that kind of love won’t happen for you because it hasn’t happened for you.

Instead, the kind of love you have been attracting since then is filling your trauma bond. The trauma inside yourself is feeling appealed by the person you crush on. For the time being you like your trauma bond person. There is nothing wrong with falling for your trauma bond person. After all, you really do have fun with this person for the time being. So, you act like you are headed towards love. Then days, weeks, months, maybe years go by, and you realize who you have been loving this whole time. You realize you don’t have feelings for this person anymore.

Why?

Because you grew up. You only fell for this person because they filled your trauma bond. Your trauma bonds are your past stories that hurt you and have not healed from yet. Now that you have been growing through your growing pains and understand more about life you see who you are at a higher level. You see who the person you have been in a relationship with is at another level. You realize this person cannot give you what you need or want anymore because you live life at a completely different level now.

You break up with the person you have been in a relationship with. They act like they hate you because they feel hurt and confused. They feel this way because they didn’t do the work. They have their own trauma bond to work through but choose not.

Why?

Because working through your trauma does not FEEL enjoyable in the moment. It's easy to just do things that give you pleasure, though, those instant pleasurable moments are only temporary. By the end of your day, you are sitting with yourself remembering what is haunting you.

That thought you had? That feeling you felt? Your inner child WANTS to heal through your trauma so that you CAN live the life you REALLY want to experience.

DIVE into that thought that haunts you. DIVE into that feeling that haunts you. Your inner child is WAITING for this work to be finished with. Your higher self is already experiencing what is in your heart, but you think is so far away. DIVE into WHO YOU ARE and EMBRACE who you are BECOMING.