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Don't Touch Me There


By Hayley MattoPublished 2 months ago 7 min read
Don't Touch Me There
Photo by Alex Knight on Unsplash

I should have listened a little more carefully.

Perhaps then I wouldn't be stuck in the position I am now.

I heard you talking to your boys when we stumbled back from the bar.

(I think it's abundantly clear I make it known to the reader that I wasn't with you, dating you, yours.)

In fact your girlfriend blacked out at the the last bar we crawled to. I tried to tell you but you were too busy talking about,

Yeah dude, I'm not sure I like this...

"Like what?"

How close they are becoming tonight. Last thing I need is for them to become friends.

"Nah man, come'on it's a good thing, I think you're thinking too deep about it."

If your bro knew you as well as I do, he would know you actually weren't thinking hard enough about it. The look in your eye gave enough away to me to know there was a storm brewing in you. I just had no idea it would be coming towards me later that night.

Your girl is lovely, she's full of life and optimism. The most attractive thing about her I would argue is her Ambition. I think it scares you.

It was nice to toss 'em back with her, I'm use to it with you. We compliment one another's pessimism too much. She's refreshing.

I don't know dude, I think once they get too close they will reveal too much of me to one another.

"You're talking about Nancy, she's been with you what 3 years at this point, shouldn't she know all of you by now? Relax dude, have another drink."

I don't know if he did but- Nancy did, and then another and another and another. Almost like it was her birthday... Not ours.

Our birthdays were 8 days apart, we were bar hoping for our combined 21st Birthday Celebration. Funny we spent most of it on entirely different ends of the bar all night long, maybe that's why you gravitated to me at the end of the night... we stretch so far, like a rubber band being pulled way to far around an object, the tension was bound to snap. I just think you weren't anticipating the sting.


I think it's more like you didn't think that far ahead. Maybe at all. Inebriation will do that to a person, release the bad behaviors sober you was too timid, ashamed to do in public.

I don't want to make excuses for your behavior, but maybe I should be punishing you and I both, I heard the warning signs,

It's just my worlds are colliding.

"You've known them both for so long, I don't get what you mean dude."

Forget it, Hayley just knows a lot.

I did, I did know an insane amount about you, enough that I could ruin you if I really wanted to. Funny, that thought never once crossed my mind. Despite how many times you crossed my boundaries.

The biggest one laying in wait... scared under a sheet on the floor near your bed, confused, mind spinning, questioning my reality; and not from the booze but from you, your choices, the deceitful sheep waiting to unzip and reveal he's a lion. Carniverous & Ravenous. You wanted me in a way I didn't realize. Or may I did, I just didn't ever think you would strike like that.

She can't be in my room. Why does she keep going in there?

"I think she's helping Nancy dude..."

I told her to leave her alone, she's fine. She does this all the time.

"I think she's just trying to help her man, it was pretty scary."

Nancy threw up at the last bar of the night on the table... I rushed her to the bathroom but we were escorted out faster then I could get her there. She got sick the entire ride home, the Uber let us out three blocks from your house. I don't blame Nancy. We all have bad nights, and looking back I think it makes sense. She spent the entire night getting to know the girl she despised up until now. She anticipated I was more then the best friend. After something that was hers. But I wasn't. I wasn't the predator in this situation. He was...

... and I was the prey.

And I believe she realized that and it hurt, hurt her hard to know he was the problem, not me.

I'll never know what was said or just how deep his manipulation lie... But let's put it this way it's been five years since that night and she's still with him.

I heard mumbles,

"I can move her to the couch if that would make it better?"

No she should know better, I told her not to be in there.

"I know, I just think she's worried about Nancy choking."

I know my girl and she's fine. Hayley needs to listen to me.

I rolled my eyes holding the tiny plastic trash can near the edge of the bed. "If he's not going to take care you I will." She smiled and flipped to her side per my request. Thanked me and apologized as all drunk girls do when they are too sick to make an excuse for their behavior. Before drifting to sleep, she tossed a white sheet down to me apologizing that the floor was so hard and that she didn't have another pillow.

I began to doze off facing your bed in case I needed to wake in a hurry and hold the bin.

Creak. Footsteps. Shitty bass music and murmurs of your friend and roomies playing video games. "UNFAIR ADVANTAGE BRO"

"It's not suppose to be your turn!!!"


Finally, I thought. No more babysitting. Blissfully unaware of the all too unfair thing that was about to happen. Suddenly the white sheet lifted. I Froze(1). The first 'F' response of this event.

You placed your hand on the small of my back. I shuttered. You flinched. You tried again, this time not stopping at my bodies signals of panic. You didn't stop exploring until I made a noise. My best attempt at Fight(2). You backed off, but only for a moment.

I internally screamed to whatever higher powers above hoping they could explain to me how this was my friend, the sheep. To make sense of something so senseless, something so far from perceivable.

You stopped, fearing I had woken up, as if I hadn't been the entire time. You backed off standing, I felt every floorboard shift as you stepped away. You weren't done.

The sheet lifted once again, but this time no unwanted hands groped for me, instead two bright flashes went off. A victim Captured with a Click.

Flight(3) kicked in next, with feverish adrenaline typing I dialed for a friend at five am. She came like a knight in a shining armor, riding a noble steed (if a steed could be a bright yellow VW Bug) to rescue me off the front curb of the house a few doors down from yours. I held my breath in your room for what felt like lifetimes. Perhaps it was however many it took for me to come back to myself, my body... the last thing I heard before making my escape,

groans from the bed above & you whispering the words...

"I love you Nancy"


Woof. Not sure this was the fun whimsical take on this challenge that maybe I was suppose to go for... I think eavesdropping for me has always been something done out of fear & suspicion, be it parents arguing downstairs as a child, or fearing people are talking about you behind your back. This story came up -(I wish I could call it fiction, the name used has been changed of course)- when I was contemplating this challenge, mostly for the auditory moments I recall from this night and to serve as a cautionary tale. I had been best friends with this individual for over eight years. Had I followed the red flags for years or the eavesdropping moments of that night even, perhaps I would have been in a different situation. Working hard all these years later to heal, and writing is one of my biggest tools to work through and release. I appreciate anyone who took the time to read through the whole thing, and please please please go check out SleepyDrafts page & everyone else's wonderful submissions for this awesome challenge below!!

SecretsFriendshipCONTENT WARNING

About the Creator

Hayley Matto

Just a 26yr old processing the 🌎 one sh*tty poem at a time. Need human connection or just killing time?

Read some thoughts by She.

-P.S. that’s me.

Insta: 🖤 Thanks for tuning in! Much Love.

Shout Out to ViM 🤍 Love 'em.

Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (10)

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  • Dana Crandellabout a month ago

    Thanks for sharing this, Hayley, and my apologies for not reading it earlier. Not fun and whimsical, perhaps, but honest and hopefully cathartic for you. Well done!

  • Kalina Bethanyabout a month ago

    Wow, Hayley. Thanks for sharing this. Brought back some familiar feelings of some narcissistic men I've encountered and dated. Thank God for good friends and adrenaline

  • Perhaps not light-hearted, but absolutely compelling, Hayley. I'm so sorry you went through this. I don't think I will ever understand those who think they have either the permission or the right.

  • Rene Peters2 months ago

    This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry you went through that

  • Lamar Wiggins2 months ago

    The nerve of some of the horndogs out there! I'm glad you decided to leave. I'm also glad you decided to share this story. I love how it was constructed! Very unique!

  • Hoping writing this was cathartic… a terrible experience, especially at the hands of a friend.

  • Alyssa Nicole2 months ago

    This is such a powerful piece, Hayley. I am so sorry that this happened to you. I know it must have been difficult to write about it, so thank you for being vulnerable and for sharing.

  • oooof, so well done

  • Difficult writing, well presented, this could be a Top Story

  • sleepy drafts2 months ago

    Oh my goodness, Hayley - this just blew me away. First of all, I am so sorry you experienced this - truly, so sorry. There is no excuse for that man's behaviour. You've managed to take a horrible experience and turn it into something profound and bigger than he could ever be. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this. I am so honoured to have this be part of the challenge ❤️💗

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