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Confessions of a 30-Something Guy Who Looks 20-Something at Most

Love is a paradox, both simple and complicated all at once… yet romance is a whole other level.

By Orion J. ZedPublished 3 months ago Updated 3 months ago 3 min read

Less than a week from now is my 35th birthday (though most people don’t see it at first if they either didn’t know beforehand or aren’t told until after our first meeting), and the closest I’ve had to a relationship is a brief, hypothetical long distance QPP.

Over the years, when I wasn’t yet ready for romance (mostly because I was still figuring it out, including my “deal”), the one piece of advice that my friends, family, and acquaintances have told me consistently is that “I’ll know when I’m ready,” and that “it’s a mistake to rush into such a big step unprepared”…

Well, after five years of deep diving into every nook and crevice of myself, and uncovering layer after layer of hidden wonders and more than a few surprises (I didn’t know I was gay until my early introspective phase, for one), at long last I’m able to say with total, honest sincerity that I’m finally ready…

…to start exploring the possibility of a romantic relationship, now that I have a much clearer idea of who I am beyond others’ perceptions and expectations.

Not only that, I’m 100% comfortable with my still-unfolding identity, and it’s clearer to me why so many hold me to a ridiculously high standard to this day (even if I’m still a bit too humble to let it go to my physically bulbous head).

It’s taken a while to explore my truest self, in some part due to being treated as an adult while still technically a child (one of the many “perks” of being a precocious and polite know-it-all), resulting in stunted social development during my teen and bachelor phases, which to this day I still sometimes feel have yet to begin, but I digress…

It’s one thing to be aware of “spinsters” who have dated on-and-off for years and still have yet to meet “The One,” yet it’s quite another to have seemingly been denied those privileges by society as a whole, having oodles of charisma, likability, and good looks (apparently), yet oblivious to just how charming you truly are because no-one tells you…

Maybe they assumed I already knew, but in my experience the truly attractive are unaware of their attractiveness, leading to what turns out to be a Mary Sue dynamic in each encounter that catches the “sexy AF” off-guard in a paralysing blip of disbelief, which is a lot more confronting than it sounds…

In any case, I’m now ready to find love, and it’s clear that there really is at least one perfect match for each and every person somewhere in the world, as evidenced by online communities that actively support and welcome all who visit, and it’s that level of community that aligns most with my perspective and beliefs of humanity as a whole, that we are one huge, diverse family that spans the surface of this amazing planet we call “Earth” (and/or “Terra,” “Mundus,” “Gaia,” “Sol III,” “The Land Formerly Known as Pangaea,” etc.).

The internet may just be the gateway to finding that special someone out there in the World of Many Names (or World of Many of the Same Name, if you wanna get technical); anyone can jump online, setup a dating profile, and start the search for their Special One, all while meeting other fascinating people from all walks of life along the way. It’s enough to make this romantic’s heart swell with stereotypical Scorpio love.

So now I’m ready to find love. What’s my first step? Find my ideal pathway, even if it means exploring multiple avenues until something sticks. No matter how long it takes, I will be able to tell people about having a Canadian boyfriend who’s more than a metaphor (and possibly actually Canadian). He’s out there somewhere, whomever he is, and I know deep in my left ventricle that he’s been looking for me too, because I’m a romantic. It’s our way.

ChildhoodDatingFamilyFriendshipTeenage yearsHumanity

About the Creator

Orion J. Zed

You’ve heard of the Many Worlds Theory? Well, Orion J. Zed has imagined hundreds of worlds in his creative endeavours, many of which are documented in some form.

He rarely refers to himself in the third person other than “About Me” sections.

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