I am an aspiring writer currently writing a book on the Sober Revolution we are in the midst of, a book about essays that will change the way you think, and a novel about a serial killer. I am also working on a book of poetry.
A Broken Mirror
The mirror showed a reflection that wasn’t my own. I fell asleep swiftly the previous night after a taxing day with my ex-boyfriend. I had been increasingly frustrated with trying to determine his intentions with me. The longer I pondered the question, the more I questioned whether I was genuinely interested in the man at all anymore. The lustre of this new relationship has faded quickly, as increasingly disturbing details of his personality emerge.
That First Drink Would Be My Downfall
The Cellar in Northfield The cellar in my childhood was dark and damp, but for some reason we were encouraged to hang out down there. While I was growing up my mother routinely sent us into the cellar when tornado warnings came on the television. The cellar was the safest place to be during a tornado, she said. I think most of the time, she just wanted us to get a break from her children and watch her soaps in peace.
Our New Normal
Many of us have had far too much to process in recent years. We've had the Covid Pandemic, hyperinflation, hostile work environments, mass shootings, and a ridiculously toxic dating scene. We all have our crosses to bear, our traumatic childhoods, addiction issues, and a skyrocketing divorce rate, but when will we come together again to be a community? Is the sense of community dead in 2023?
Be Careful with Whom you Make your Alliances
Years ago when I was starting my education career at the local career center, my boss gave me very sage advice that I did not heed. The advice was, be careful with whom you make your alliances. Unfortunately, I dismissed this advice and decided to stick with friends from high school, who - and it took me far too long to realize this - I had truly had nothing in common with. If you associate out with addicts, you will eventually become an addict, if you associate with people who don't know how to manage their money, eventually you won't be able to either, and if you associate with people are deeply committed to staying stuck in a rut, you'll get stuck in their rut too. Negativity and hopelessness is just as contagious as positivity and optimism; pick your partners and friends wisely.
Let's Celebrate my Three Year Soberversary
On December 9th, 2019, I took my last sip of alcohol. My drinking had progressed significantly in a very short period of time. I don't know exactly when I crossed that line, but once it is crossed it can't be reversed - at least not for me. I became a 24/7 drinker. Before you think it can't happen to you, trust me it can. My drinking progressed to the point that if woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I would open a beer. It progressed to the point that the obsession started before I even woke up. I would have a beer waiting for me on my bedside table when I woke up. My liver was swollen. I was having seizures. I was in a rotation of psych wards, court appointments, and emergency room visits. If I can offer any advice, it is not to wait until it gets to this point. Don't be an "at-leaster." Don't say, "well at least I'm not a felon," "at least I don't have five OVI's." Before you know it, it can happen to you.
Never Underestimate a Cycle Breaker
I've been committed to breaking the cycle of generational trauma for sometime now. I came from a severely dysfunctional home. My mother was married to a narcisscist who ruined her life. I apparently keep getting into relationships where men ruin my life. My ex was so abusive that it drove me to a drinking problem. I fall in love with potential. I fall in love with the future of what I want them to be. I disregard the red flags. And because of that, I self-destruct.
Frugal Fun Galore on the Northern Shore - Part 2
This has been the best year of my life hands down. I'm out on the dating scene and I've been enjoying myself immensely. I decided to get on TikTok to promote my upcoming book about breaking the chains to alcohol addiction. The response has been overwhelming. I'm sober, not boring.
Poverty Charges Interest
Poverty, like wealth, also charges interest. Don't have money for tires now? Pay for a tow truck and lost time from work later. Don't have time or insurance for a dental cleaning? Pay for dentures later. Don't have the money for a vacation? Pay for a nervous breakdown later. Negative momentum in the wrong direction is still momemtum. In our current economy, you can go up or down, but staying afloat with a middle-class job is as scarce as a unicorn these days. What we've got now is modern-day corporate slavery.
I first encountered music therapy during a 28 day rehab stint. It was helpful for so many reasons. First, you realize that your feelings are more common than you think. No matter what emotional turmoil you have been through, or any trauma you may have endured, someone has written a song about it. Second, it gets you out of your head. In sobriety, you can get trapped inside your head, and recovery is about letting those feelings out. Music helps you do that. Third, in writing music, I can tell the paper things that I can't tell the people in my life. Sometimes, I hide behind my music, until I'm ready to discuss things in person.
Bob was Right!
He had been thinking long and hard about his retirement plan. His life just isn't working for him anymore. He wasn't much to look, but he a very kind man. In fact, so kind that he and the battle-axe he calls his women didn't get along much. Every day while making breafkast he says his mantra:
The Power of Optimism
As a life coach and addictions advisor, I teach people how to manifest their dreams. It's easier than it seems as just two years ago I was on the verge on homelessness, and I now live in an affluent suburb with a book that is about to be published. My clients tell me that people gravitate toward me because of my optimism. I also provide hope during these dystopian times. These two attitudes have allowed me to go far in life.
The Likability Penalty
Simply put, the “likeability penalty” asserts that women face social penalties for acting in the very way that leads to power and success. I've often been told that I am intimidating to men. I don't think if I were male, anyone would accuse me of this "crime." I'm well-read, out-spoken, and a very learned woman. These are all traits that we hope to see in a male partner but don't like to see them in women. Basically, I'm an unlikable female because I exhibit male qualities - and frankly, I don't give a damn.