just your average writer writing about stuff.
Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. They also say that your skin would simultaneously begin to freeze and boil as your lungs rupture. That it would start off as a tingling sensation and change to excruciating pain in the matter of seconds. But my parents have a way of exaggerating their fears to me. Like how my mother would tell me as a little girl that if I didn’t eat all the vegetables on my plate I would die. Many times, I wonder if they are telling me the truth, if I would really lose consciousness as quickly as they say. Or do they exaggerate the rapidness of its effect to instill fear and worry in me so that I am always extra cautious? Other times I think they just fight loneliness as hard as I do, so they recite their warnings out loud to remind me, but more so themselves, that death, as close as it is, is not worth exploring. Yet, when I look out the window, the sun shining down on the red sand calls to me. I can’t help but wonder if it might be worth stepping outside without my suit for a moment just so I could feel the dirt under my feet and the warmth of the sun on my skin before I ultimately meet my painful end.
The College Stowaway
As a college student, I knew adopting a dog was probably not the best idea. The day I took Mason back to my apartment, I had only a few dollars in my bank account and final exams a week away. Besides financially and mentally struggling, I was also a horrible emotional mess that had just been dumped earlier that month. I had no time, money, or energy, yet I couldn’t stand the idea of him being sent away to a pound. Mason, a 70-pound black mixed bully breed, was sure to meet misfortune if he went to the pound.
I opened my eyes and found myself sitting in darkness. Slightly dazed and confused, I tried to remember where I was and how I got there. I felt the soft, velvet fuzz of the couch on my fingers and realized I was home. I must have fallen asleep watching TV, I thought to myself as I tried to search for the remote control. Feeling my way around, I found it and anxiously pressed all the buttons on top hoping to turn on the TV. Nothing. “Maybe the power went out,” I whispered into the darkness as if expecting a response. Instead the echo of my voice made the room feel bigger and emptier than what it was. I felt a deep sense of loneliness and fear that I hadn’t had in years.
Why I Shop at Target and Why You Should Too
Let me begin by stating that I didn’t always shop at Target. In fact, at one point, I considered it bougie and expensive. As a kid, I thought Target was the place that rich, white folks went to because they could afford to pay more for no reason. And although now I know that’s not the case, I still get the occasional, “you shop at Target? That’s SO expensive!”
Today, I'm Sad Again...
My sadness feels heavier than it has been in a while. I feel the weight of my sadness directly on my chest, as if someone was pushing me down. I just want to sit. I just want to lay down. Either way, I just want to cry. Why must I always feel so sad? Why must I always end up here? Crying and not really understanding why...
A Mother’s Cover Letter
To whom it may concern, I know my resume seems unimpressive. You’re not wrong to think that. I know it’s unimpressive. In fact, it’s so unimpressive that every time I look at it… I cry. There’s a painfully obvious large gap missing from my work experience. What could I have possibly been doing for so many years instead of working? The truth is: I’ve been home. I’ve been taking care of two beautiful little girls who have taken up more time and energy than what I want to admit. They are wonderful tiny humans and I’m sure you’d be impressed if you met them, but for now you’ll just have to take my word for it. Nonetheless, I’d like to say that they are who they are because of me. Because of the decision I made to stop pursuing what I loved and aspired to be to instead stay home and care for people who needed me the most. My love and dedication to let my children learn and grow in a healthy and encouraging environment has molded them into someone better than who my husband and I could ever be.