Barbara Falo
Bio
Stories (35/0)
I was a Child
I was a child, introduced to cartoon fiction characters at the age of 5. I recalled watching a show like, what we call nowadays Transformers. Well, there was a show by the name, (Kikaida) in Japan. In this show there was a character, named Heart Woman, whom when turned into her character, would have heart breast shoot out! I found this to be quite interesting. I, at an early age of 5, seemed to find that the woman in the character was very interesting, beautiful. I believe at that time I was having feelings of the same sex. I believed that the emotions I was feeling was an attraction to the same sex. I had seen male figures, but I had no interest in the feelings that I seemed to have for the females. It seemed as if I connected to the female side, but I did not know what these feelings were. I tried to fight these feelings towards the female gender, but as years progressed, I found it quite difficult to shake the feelings of attraction towards the female species. As the years passed, I had encountered a huge catastrophe in my life. I was molested by a family member, whom was the son of a pastor. This took a brutal hit to my whole entire being. I then found myself, not at ease around male figures. Instead of telling, I hid it and was living with massive shame for something I had no control over. The robbing of my innocence had left me in complete need of a mother’s love and guidance. This haunted me throughout my life. I was then again molested, raped by several different men who had made their way into our lives. My parents trusting friends and their own damn siblings. Never even uttered a word of the horror that took place in my life. I still proceeded to try and fit in with our society of trying to fit in and be with opposite sex. Although all these feelings of attractions to female was running through my mind. I suddenly could not take the agony of hiding who I truly was. I then came across a female, in the seventh grade and had my first experience with a female, same gender. We seem to have been talking and then the young lady reached over and kissed me and that’s the beginning of my lesbian life. During this time, I was sure if anyone were to find out that I had kissed a girl, then they would not take to it at all. So, I ended up fighting to keep the fact that I was a lesbian. I knew that I had strong attractions to the female gender, but I had to keep it a secret knowing that my family were deep rooted into the church. During my junior years in mid school, I had gotten into so much trouble, I had gotten arrested on school campus, caught with a bag of marijuana on me! There were eight of us girls, but seven of us got house arrest. My parents did not take to kind to any of my friends during this time. I found my life spiraling down, and I could not control the outcome, eagerly wanting to be me! I was living a mass lie, not being able to tell anyone that I was into the female gender. Which made me a lesbian. Struggling daily to try and come to the realization of who I really was. I then made a promise to myself, that as soon as I hit 18, I would leave, so that I can live my own life. During the times in high school still not completely out of the closet. I struggle with the knowledge of knowing that I had strong emotions for the female gender, and found myself turning to all areas, in which I thought would be helpful to me in coping with my emotions, of having feelings towards the same sex. I then began to drink at an early age, as well as started to smoke marijuana. This was clearly an outcry for help, but I did not know what was going on. I felt so puzzled, confused, and nervous of how to go about letting those I loved, know who I was. There was no one to confide in, since back in the 80’s, there was no talk of that type of behavior whatsoever. Now mind you, during these times there no open-minded individuals flaunting that there is support for an individual with those issues, that have strong feelings towards their own gender. There is a name for these individuals today. That is gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgenders. Although, I was hoping to be accepted and struggling with what I had to deal with and try not to lose my mind. It seemed as if I were just seeking any type of support but found help in all the wrong places. I continued my journey as a young lady and finally at the age of 18years, which was the year 1985. I decided it would probably be best for me to leave and try and go live my life away from my parents, so that they would not have to deal with this issue of their daughter being a lesbian. That move that I made literally broke my mother’s heart. Allow me to fast forward, 31years later, I met my wife, and between us both we have four beautiful children. It was my wife, who told me to start writing again, and during this CO-VID19, I decided to try to write again in April of 2020. In six days, I had completed my first poem book. “Rainbow Prince” (Into the mind of A Lighted Being), which my wife, helped edit and self-published. I believe all that I write, comes strictly, from the loving hand of God! For he embraces all, regardless our color, sex orientation, and our sins. This book of poems is dedicated to all that our struggling with whom they are and what gender that they feel completes them. Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, and Transgenders, be at peace with who you really are to be. Embrace who you are, for God made us all very uniquely and handle your lives with finesse. I hope this book brings comfort to you in accepting whom you are truly to be.
By Barbara Falo3 years ago in Pride
COVID – 19…………
There has always been talks of sudden disasters, viruses that will break and cause somehow chaos to the people. Now is the time, I came suddenly without regards to mankind. Usually things of such sort, like the introduction of being at the forefront of the limelight! To all the peoples surprise, I have appeared at some of your doorsteps allowed myself into your home to make my presence known! I have been probably an illusion of some of your minds, or even a thought that may have been just easily to be excused! Just the plain nonsense of knowing that I exist and have been brought to life is surely insane! Well keep in mind the mere thought of my existence is purely not in any way good for mankind at all! I may have been formed of the pure minds that explore scientific measures of actually tampering with mother nature! There are many avenues that may have caused or even created my existence at this time! I can honestly say, how did I even come to surface into this world! Ask yourselves did you create me in a manner of greed, or did you simply create me to be solely in charge of all mankind knowing that by utilizing scare tactics, and abusing your seats of commanding the people could actually work? Ruling by those demeanors is obviously plain cowardly! Do not expect to be respected for creating and implementing a virus to control the people of the world! We are of born into this world with free will, but those who are greedy of control will always seek to be in control for nothing is ever satisfactory to themselves. By knowing these types of people exists, there must have been a plot for my birth into this society! I have been clearly brought here for damage control! My existence is futile, I am not here for anyone’s prosperous life or to even care but to do exactly what was imbedded in me to do! I know I am destruction to the lives of everyone that I can destroy! I am far from kind but knowing that I have landed and destroyed people’s lives. This appears to be why I was even created! A relentless avenue of trial to be tried into the people of the world! I have yet to understand the possibility of anyone in their right mind creating something so destructive for anyone! I believe I am here on a trial base which went completely wrong! I know that my existence has taken beautiful lives, innocent lives, lives period to no fault of theirs! What am I made of, why am I here into this world, being the sole thing that has cause tragedy to innocent lives that were in this world trying to coexist? Having kids, your life partner to explore their lives together to be the best family they can possibly be on earth! I have affected lives that were quite well to do, happy, loving and great health. Co-existing to survive in this world that they live in. Being the cause of turning their world upside down, brings me to wonder how is it that I became in existence or even what I have cause to all these families! Yes, COVID-19, I have landed into this world called earth and I believe I am not prejudice to anyone! I have taken a toll of creating disasters amongst families, public and government! Having all scared, buying up all groceries, gearing up with safety protection gear as well as keeping 85 percent of the nation ready of lock down in their own homes. Obviously, I am one but I have a way of moving and having control over millions. I am not people friendly, contagious to a degree and vicious to all mankind. I believe I am living to destroy what I can or even who I can! But in retrospect I do exist for the mere thought of being unkind! I will destroy what lies in my path, I will take control if I can’t be controlled. I will spread with opportunities granted to me! I will not take for granted that the people let their guards down. I am here to seek out what I can destroy with my abilities to take control of human beings. I am by far no friend of yours. Nor am I not here to make any friends along the way. I will seek out and destroy what I can until you figure out how to destroy me or to keep me contained. Until the journey of my co-existing amongst you all is here for the long haul. If any of you dare try, coming together, there are millions to one, I believe with all the intellects in your world, there is a solution that you folks can uncover. I challenge the world, for the odds are fairly in the worlds favor! Remember, I am only one! Clearly, the most effective solution is a plan well thought together. Put down the ignorance card and obtain the cure! I am merely one verses, several million!
By Barbara Falo3 years ago in Earth
Spread sincere "Love" across....
There comes a time in our lives, where you must ask yourself whether you are an instrument in positivity or do you just believe in others making a difference while you just pass by! I have been as a child sexually abused, dabbed into the drug scene and even got into physical altercations growing up. The one thing I always had in my heart was (LOVE). Although the challenges of being the most rebellious child my parents had. I still believed that somewhere inside of me felt the deepness of guilt for ever having anger towards anyone or even hitting someone. The true fact is, I have been born into this world with a huge assignment, which is to spread sincere love across the globe. I had never believed in a thousand years would I ever be an author nor an Inspirational Speaker, this I owe thanks to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I also owe multitudes of thanks to my wife, Crystal Falo who has supported me with my venture of showing all my people that "sincere love" truly exists. Today's society believes in the striving for self-greatness, money and power. But I say, the biggest achievement anyone could have, is the ability to spread sincere love across the world for in these times of our world right now! There is absolutely no help needed in categories of hatred, greed, murder or any type of negativity that we as humans fight constantly on a daily basis. We all co-exist in this world together for such a greater picture of success. The fact remains, you and I are put here to be the better of it all. Being able to show compassion and empathy are the sole keys of success in striving to spreading sincere love. There are many of us who, believe in what they believe in, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with us being individuals, as long as we are able to compromise and allow everyone to have their opinions. There are just way too many people pointing fingers on whom to blame but should actually be the instrument of making that positive affect happen, whereas they do something positive and actually putting it into effect. Many of times it is clearly the mind which has the power to strive in viewing things on a positive aspect! I believe in the sincerity of individuals and that there are many of us who are able to succeed in having the ripple effect of sincere love spread across the globe. We must be able to respect an individual for their differences, there is no need to be frustrated because someone else's view is different from yours. You must allow yourself the ability to have your mind go to a higher place of thinking and strive for making a difference to a degree of satisfying your soul! Majority of the time people follow the lead of others, but they have no idea of the uniqueness that they were actually created for in this world. Being able to show, share and allow sincere love to shine in your life has a major ripple effect. Knowing that we are all taught from home first. There is nothing more essential than loving a child with integrity of showing them that there are great gifts in living by sharing love across the globe. Nothing is more satisfying to anyone's spirit than the true acceptance of knowing that everyone's life truly matters. So, begin at home and teach all our children, that although we must be successful in this world to be able to live comfortably, by all means you can still be a great instrument in everyone's lives for the greater picture. Many famous artists may depict a painting of such beauty, but it is in our power to make the change and have a pallet with an artist brush to paint our world to be a wonderful world to live in. In hindsight, it very well be, "mind over matter" what you do not mind, simply do not matter. The best advice I will leave you with, is to be the best quality of an individual you can possibly be!
By Barbara Falo3 years ago in Motivation