Do it Afraid

“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” - Susan Jeffers Ph. D.

2023 was a year of many new experiences for me. The most challenging was moving into a new apartment after a messy breakup, where I’d be living alone for the first time with my dog, Penny. It’s almost exactly one year since moving and I have 3 specific goals to make 2024 the year of continued growth and creativity.

I created my current Instagram account in the year 2015 with the username @amanda_unfiltered. I intended to post content that was real, honest, authentic, and of course, unfiltered. Unfortunately like most of us on social media, it didn’t take long before I was sharing only what I wanted people to see and what I knew would get likes or views. It’s almost a decade later and I still struggle to post unfiltered content. For some, like myself, there is a fear of not being accepted or recognized as a good creator when posting content online if you don’t get hundreds or thousands of views and likes. Despite that fear, my first goal for 2024 is to not only increase the amount of content I create but to write with authenticity in mind. This goal especially goes for writing here on Vocal, too.

I believe achieving my authenticity writing goal and my next 2024 writing goal go hand-in-hand. Over the last 3 years, I have self-published 2 poetry books. It is a dream of mine to sell a book to a publisher but because that particular dream feels out of reach for now, I want to downsize and make my “stepping-stone goals” reasonable and realistic. With that in mind, my second goal of 2024 is to practice, practice, practice.

My goal to practice writing means allowing myself to write and create work that isn’t always perfect. It means writing every day, whether it’s a continuous flow of thoughts in a journal or a more complex and structured thought-out piece like a poem. It also means taking the online writing courses and poetry workshops that I’ve wanted to try for years. And lastly, it means pushing to practice writing even when I don’t want to. My writing doesn’t have to be publication-worthy 100% of the time, nor does anyone else’s. I think we collectively can put too much pressure on ourselves. The saying “practice makes perfect” is not accurate. No one is perfect and if you’re aiming to achieve perfection you may want to reevaluate what that means for you. In my experience “practice makes progress” is a much more effective perspective.

As for what my “practice, practice, practice” goal means for writing on Vocal, I want to enter as many writing challenges as possible. I even want to challenge my abilities by entering challenges with themes I don’t think I can win! Writing is not always all about winning a prize or an award. It certainly can add elements that are fun and exciting, but writing can also be about self-improvement and learning.

My favorite form of writing is creating poetry. I was 16 years old when poetry unexpectedly fell into my lap and I can say with certainty it has helped me through some of the worst times of my life. This year I want to not only expand my poetry skills by continuing to create more poems but to also write more pieces that are not poetry.

I firmly believe that writing poetry has created a strong foundation of a skill set I would not have been able to acquire otherwise. With that being said, by practicing writing every day and entering challenges outside of my comfort zone, I will be improving on the skills it takes to be a good writer.

The human experience is so vast and unique. With that said, my third goal of the 2024 year is to write about my experiences through stories, memoirs, and poetry with the intention of bringing light into the darkness. My journey through life thus far has felt dark and painful. It has certainly not always been dark and painful, especially because without the dark we can not know the light, and vice versa, however when I am a little old woman with white hair instead of red, I want to look back on my life and remember my life as a colorful adventure. Not a dark and painful experience.

In the 2 books I have self-published now, I feel I did a decent job with the tools I had available to tell my story in my poetry. The difference between how I wrote then compared to how I want to write now, is all about the way I want my human experience to be captured and defined. I want my writing to reflect the good or the light. The world already has so much darkness; I believe I can create some light in the shadows with my writing and bring connection and comfort to those who need it. Writing is a powerful tool that has the potential to make an impact. It’s time I consider that carefully and leave my readers feeling better than they did before they found my work whenever I can.

Here’s to 2024: The year of continued growth and creativity.