Hard Times

My life is but a dream, like Alice in Wonderland. My mom had this crazy idea to be a van dweller, and me being the young curious adventurer I am, I went along and got hooked on the idea of living minimally in a vehicle that could take us across America. We went on Route 66 straight to the Root Chakra of the Earth, in other words Hell. It's true about the temptation you feel out in California, in the city of “Angels”. Everyone that resides there always says they have a love/hate relationship towards Los Angeles, and I've come to agree. Being there makes you feel ecstatic, maybe it's the fast life, maybe it's the legalized weed that slows everything down. I don't know, but it makes you want to crave more, like addiction. But again it is the Root Chakra of the Earth so what would you expect. At 9 years old the first time I came to Los Angeles was a blur really, I know I've met family members that live in California but after going back to Texas i've just had this magnetic attraction towards it and always wanted to go there. It's crazy because the number 9 represents transformation. One must go through experience to enjoy simple things of life. Surprisingly I was 9 again, because we left Texas when I was 18. Living in a bus on the streets of L.A. really helped shape who I am at the moment, as I am writing this in 2020 Quarantine. Yeah the whole world is in a pandemic and what better thing to do than to write what the fuck happened. But first,

We built the bus from scratch, took the seats out, made floors, walls, shelves, a kitchen counter, and bathroom. We had no clue as to what we were doing because we didn't have any building or construction experience, but I learned the meaning of actually putting “blood, sweat and tears” into this project and my mom pretty much blew $50,000 on this “bus adventure”, but nope, epic failure, sorry mom. And we thought coming to Los Angeles was a GRAND idea. We thought we were going to be in nature, living happily. But no it's been tiresome and not peaceful at all. Shitting in a bucket that stinks up the whole bus, living with mice, bugs, living through the scorching hot summer through the cold winter nights. Replacing batteries everyday to be able to have light at night because our solar gave out somehow, our tire blew out in the middle of the desert of New Mexico. And having no real refrigeration sucks, we always have to get ice everyday and spend a lot of money going to the grocery store too many times out the week. Living shouldn't be so hard and stressful. The different things we had to do to get by like wondering where we would get our water, at first we were getting them from fire hydrants until we started refilling our bottles by using those glacier water refill machines. We use a bucket bowl, fill it with water to clean ourselves (imagine being in the cold winter season trying to take a wash. It was freezing). We had to innovate ideas and learn many different ways of how to survive and live at the same time. At night people would fight, scream, get high and drug deal. I'm talking about real drugs like Meth, Heroin and Cocaine. A Lot of crazy shit happens. We lived on the side of the freeway of Hope/Jefferson right there by USC. One day my granny, mom & I heard a loud ass bang. My mom and I were in the back of bus and we looked at each other like what the fuck was that, ive never heard a sound like that before. I looked out the side of my window to see but nothing was on the street, my first thought was “ah shit somebody done crashed on the freeway”, we all went out to see, I went under the tent to see what the hell happened and I kid you not a truck was hanging off the side of the freeway. The back part and wheels were hanging off but the front wheels were balancing on the freeway, which is curved, so you would have to slow down driving up and around the ramp. They even hit and knocked out a light/stop sign and it fell off the side alomst hitting a man that was in his car parked about 10 feet away and next to the freeway of where the accident had happened, that big heavy piece of metal couldve killed that man if he had been closer, it literally landed in front of his car while he was in it, it was so fucking crazy. This was real life final destination shit. My heart dropped and I pulled mommy to come see and she called 911. It was a couple and the girlfriend was driving, my mom said she must’ve been drunk, but I went and asked the lady if they were ok and I had seen something red on her forehead above her right eyebrow and I asked her “Are you bleeding!” She replied “I don't know, probably” and I said “Is that a red tattoo on your head?” and she was like “No I don't have a tattoo on my head” and I responded “Yeah you're bleeding”. All the tent and fellow trailer/bus people came out to see, even the USC security guard. But the police showed up and later the tow truck came and got the truck. I'm just glad no cars flipped off the freeway to land on our bus. It's like we are very protected, someones gotta be watching over us because that was the craziest thing i've seen thus far in my young life.

To think of it, my family became the homeless population of Los Angeles. We gave up our 4 bedroom house. We were comfortable and stable. Now we moved back, renewed people and face Houston Texas again. And I strongly feel good about this because I come to realize I don't have to become known and be persuaded by the temptation of the luxurious life of Hollywood. My spirit just keeps rejecting Los Angeles. I'm a true Texas girl. And the funny thing is my ultimate dream is to get Land, with forest surrounding my eco friendly house, white picket fence, a garden/greenhouse, homestead/Farm with lots of animals especially Horses. Sounds like something out of those fairytail stories we've all read but that really feels like my life, maybe because i'm just hopelessly romantic. I want a beautiful quiet life, with an honest loving husband, together us tending to our land and home. Planting fruit trees of all varieties and a vineyard to be able to make our own wine because I want a simple, yet luxurious life built on hardwork and dedication. I also want to grow Magic mushrooms, cannabis and all kinds of herbs and live as a medicine shamaness woman that people come to and to be able to hold a safe, sacred space for people to heal and truly speak to their god holistically like my ancestors have always done.