beauty
“She wins who calls herself beautiful and challenges the world to change to truly see her.” - Naomi Wolf
you
I have piece of uncommon knowledge which is going to blow you away, are you ready for it because it is truly shocking... not many people know it because society is so messed up... but did you know you are special, you are amazing, you are beautiful and most of all you are unique, you are perfect just the way you are.
Tiana Joy Gatula-GittensPublished 3 years ago in VivaShe's Not Just a Pretty Face
At some point in everyone’s life, there are defining moments; moments that make you who you are as you grow up. Whether you value money, looks, intelligence or athletics, in many cases, this can be accredited to those defining moments. In grade school, were you celebrated for having top grades in all of your subjects? Did you find your glory with a winning touchdown? Was your proudest moment being nominated as best dressed at graduation? All of these moments create a feeling of pride, of belonging and, more importantly, they create a memory in your mind of how to get the feeling of pride and belonging.It’s simple, if you are rewarded for something, whether with praise, money or trophies, you associate happiness with the reward. Similarly, if you are punished for something, you associate sadness with the punishment. Most people (yes I know exceptions) seek to feel happiness in their lives. So what do they do to achieve this? They go back to the basic actions that brought them happiness in the past, therefore, creating a habit. That kid growing up that was always praised for being an incredible athlete and felt the glory of their teammates celebrating them for amazing plays, puts immense value in being athletic. That kid, who was praised for the high marks by their parents and given money for every A, now seeks praise for intelligence. Obviously, this is very simplified and, if you are some psychologist, I know you will rip it apart with technicalities and exceptions, but overall there is truth to this. Bringing me to my point, don’t call me beautiful.If you are ever in the delivery wing of a hospital, listen to people talking. They will be holding a little baby girl saying “oh she is so beautiful!” Okay, I don’t know if you have ever seen a new baby but, I hate to break it to you, they are not beautiful. They are all shriveled up, pink and probably flaky. That child can’t open her eyes, let alone acknowledge the comment; yet, the brainwashing begins.Say that girl is now four years old. She has started school with the other kids and is getting ready in a brand new dress for her first day. Mom or Dad want a picture and can’t stop awing and cooing over how precious and beautiful their baby girl is. As they snap pictures nearly blinding the child, they continue to repeat she is beautiful. Her parents hug her and send her to school. Don’t even get me started about picture day.End of grade eight rolls around; she is getting dressed up for graduation (which is actually a thing… I am talking full gowns that cost more than my last car payment). Somehow, somewhere in that subconscious, there is a memory from her first day of school and how special she felt. The word “beautiful” is circling in her head creating pressure. She wants to feel special again, she has to look beautiful. Hence the $300 dress, hair style, pedicure, manicure and of course, new shoes. Again, Mom or Dad begins with the pictures and the praise, only further embedded the importance of being beautiful into her mind.Everyone blames the media for this necessity for woman to be thin, for the increase in eating disorders. But, someone, somewhere, had to begin this trend. I am not saying it is bad to compliment a girl on her looks but, why is it always beautiful? What is wrong with saying a girl looks strong? That she looks healthy? Better yet, that she looks happy?Start it young and start it early. Next time you look at a “beautiful” baby girl, flip your thought, instead of saying she is beautiful, start early and say she looks “healthy” or “strong”. You may laugh saying that a baby can’t look strong but, as discovered earlier, they really don’t look “beautiful” either.You can still tell a girl she is beautiful but, please, say it for the right reasons. Say it because she just finished running a full event on her own and still has a smile on her face. Say it because she just completed her university applications and is filled with anticipation for her future.Start this before they can even understand the words you are saying.
Jennifer KeanPublished 3 years ago in VivaBehind the Pretty Face
Do we really take a pretty face for face value or do we truly feel the soul behind it ? I have always carried myself as if, just because I am pretty does not mean I deserved more nor do I play ignorant to the blatant perks its gets in the real world. There are things we honestly have no control over like peoples perceptive of beauty or have the ability to turn our natural beauty on and off on command ( Lets get real here people , WE AREN'T ROBOTS). But we have still manage to create these warped emotions around the pain , the weight, the COST, and thats just to name a few. Lets be honest being "Pretty" is a full time LIFE commitment some of us don't sign up for and some don't really understand it once their in it. The strive to "Pretty" never stops for some people , some take to their grave that they will never be "pretty" enough. ummm, honestly What is Pretty ? Does it come with armor ? Can I Lock it away and collect later on its interest ? But lets not just focus on the word pretty itself , like why do I care if you think I am "attractive" in your Perceptive? Can you swallow the pain it hidden behind that face on a daily? Can you listen to society or social media perception of pretty and still feel whole ? Does Pretty Mean Strong ? I have so many questions. Constantly pushing our personal agendas to define our definition of "Pretty" for ourselves and everyone around us. All that hard work to still not completely be content and happy, WHEW CHILEEE im tireddddd for me and you. Self Love is the BEST defense against self hate ( this truly could be a solve all remedy for you it helps , SO TRY IT ) but what about the person who is naturally pretty, moved on from the phase of caring about anyones perception of them, just simply living their lives unproblematic but find them selves facing a whole different set of warped turmoil behind being "pretty" ? Did you know there are people with a fear attached to being perceived as too "pretty" ? What about having anxiety when your in public because you feel everyone is looking at you whether you on worst or best day? What about the people who turns their attractiveness for a profit either by need or choice? To have to wonder how to make your self not attractive to certain people or crowds or anyone but your DOMINANT partner . hmm suddenly being pretty doesn't sound so fun. What about the people who live with more than one perspective, or some other combination of the madness? Being attractive comes with some heavy weight but that doesn't deter people for striving for it and we never really understand another preceptive of it until we are in it with them. So to be able to answer that question I would be here all day because I am a pretty face and its my personal invisibility cloak. Imagine being pretty enough to catch the hallow attention of people without them ever really knowing you for anything but a pretty face. Yes I am attractive but I am so much more. I hide so much behind this face that often I forget when to drop the act. My Beauty has caused me love , pain , and everything in between, all for the sake to have some one tell me they find my well prepared and thoughtfully planned facade attractive. Suddenly your compliment doesn't merely add up to the perplex I already feel around my attractiveness. I know I would trade being attractive for a trillion different things does that make me sound crazy ? I wear this face EVERYDAY and everyday I can find new things to love , hate , and even ignore all together. But who will completely understand the soul under the pretty face?
Monique JacksonPublished 3 years ago in VivaCan you get a man's haircut as a woman?
I have short hair. It isn’t exactly a bob, but it doesn’t reach my shoulders. Meanwhile, one of my male colleagues has hair almost to his waist. He works very hard to maintain it. Now, I’m not writing this to say that there is anything wrong with him having long hair as a guy or my having short hair as a girl. What I feel is wrong is that despite him having more hair, I will still pay more than him at basically every hair salon.
Sasha NicholsPublished 3 years ago in VivaRevolution Resolution
Naomi Wolf, in her best-selling dissection of the beauty industry 'The Beauty Myth' addresses every contradiction that women are forced to endure when chasing aesthetic appeal. A woman must not be too fat nor too thin, too tall nor too short. She must not pursue sex but must open her legs willingly when a man commands her to do so.
Emily Williams-OwenPublished 3 years ago in VivaI "KNOW" I Love Me Enough
I am slowly learning how to be "me" again in my new skin, that quite frankly is, amazing skin! It is skin that I had before and set it down awhile when I was told it was not that great.
Kim StambaughPublished 3 years ago in VivaGrowing Up With a Gorgeous Mother Made Me Hate The Beauty
I didn’t realize how beautiful my mum was until I wasn’t around eleven or twelve. For me, she was just my mum. Kind, loving, caring, and sometimes angry. Being pretty and gorgeous meant nothing for me, and I didn’t notice someone’s appearance. I saw others by the way they were. Most of them were sweet to me as the waitress from the local bar, who gave me extra cream on my hot chocolate. Some were rude as the older neighbor on the second floor who always complained when we were playing under his window.
Duck lips and Self-acceptance
I was going through old photos, and I came across this one. At first, I giggled, sent it to my friends and daughter so we could all giggle at it, and mock myself. Then, I looked at her again, this woman who has my eyes, hair, and human suit, but decided she wasn't good enough, so she put lip implants into her lips! WTF?!?!?!? I don't know this woman; I don't know who she is anymore. I am so far from this woman; I want to hug her and coach her to step into her power and back into her authentic self! I want to do several sessions with her, share her light with her, and show her that she is perfect, whole, and complete as she is, without changing a fucking thing about her!
Self-Growth in the Year 2020
In the beginning, no one expected their entire year to be a living hell. For many reasons, everyone has suffered tremendously in their own ways. In simple terms, covid-19 has disrupted everything; leaving the world permanently scarred.
Dez's Public JournalPublished 3 years ago in Vivamy armpit hair is 2 inches long
Hello, I hope you're having an amazing day so far. My name's Alexa, and today, I want to talk about something everyone has: body hair. Body hair is so natural and normal, yet, everywhere I see ads for hair removal and people on magazines who have baby soft hairless skin. I have seen some small brands that are embracing body hair. I first saw them on an instagram ad, they are a brand of bras and underwear called hara the label. I was so happy to see that some of their models proudly lifted up their arms while posing to reveal their armpits. It felt liberating to know that others had decided to leave their hair like me. Hey! That rhymed. Although there have been advancements to represent body hair it isn't mainstream.
The Making of Me
Sometimes I can be conflicted with the word beauty. I lived in a world where beauty was one dimensional and I amongst other women had no choice to accept it. Although there were men who secretly appreciated us, we still did not fit the mold of celebration and it hurt many people who shared my physical likeness.
Genaya JohnsonPublished 3 years ago in VivaSEXY
At the age of fifty-five I started looking for my sexy again. I have lost it several times in my life. It left in my thirties and it took until my forties to find it again. Again, it left when I turned fifty-three. This time it was harder to find. I had to redefine myself. There's nothing harder than redefining yourself. This time my nest was going to be empty. My little chick was going away to school. I had always been a mom, a single mom. A single mom whose boyfriend of many years had just broken up with her. I was not feeling sexy. I wasn't feeling anything but empty.
Melanie CranePublished 3 years ago in Viva