At the age of fifty-five I started looking for my sexy again. I have lost it several times in my life. It left in my thirties and it took until my forties to find it again. Again, it left when I turned fifty-three. This time it was harder to find. I had to redefine myself. There's nothing harder than redefining yourself. This time my nest was going to be empty. My little chick was going away to school. I had always been a mom, a single mom. A single mom whose boyfriend of many years had just broken up with her. I was not feeling sexy. I wasn't feeling anything but empty.
I was an empty burned out tree trunk. One morning, I woke up and found myself staring at a rabbit hole of emptiness. I had recently lost over a hundred pounds, my clothes made me feel empty. Nothing fit. Everything hung off me. Again, I saw that rabbit hole. I showered. The rabbit hole was swirling around behind me in the mirror. It followed me all morning. Finally, after having a conversation with myself I got dressed. I jumped down the rabbit hole!
The first stop was my hairstylists shop. He was there. I told him I just jumped down the rabbit hole and I wanted him to cut my hair. Cut it short, about an inch below the ear lobes. He couldn't believe it. He had been trying to get me to cut it short for years! It felt great! All my curls, now free of the length, curled up. I was free. I felt so light. It felt sexy. Everyone there said I looked wonderful. His partner came in and looked twice. "You look really sexy with that hair, just wow".
I hated looking like a slob. Levis were always my favorite jeans. I went into the Levis store and tried on a few pairs. They were to big. I needed help. The new boot cuts were great. They fit perfectly. They were snug in the right places. It felt really weird to see myself in clothes that weren't baggy. They weren't sliding down my ass and I didn't need the belt. They FIT. Next, there was this great little boutique. I loved to look in the windows. There was no way I was ever going to fit in those shirts. I bought four shirts from them. I went next door to another place I used to look in. I got a couple of shirts from them. Next, the tip top of the mountain of new clothes...lingerie. And, there was only one place to go.
Fredricks of Hollywood. This was THE place to get the sexiest lingerie anywhere. If you wanted to feel like a sexy bitch you went to Fredericks. If you wanted to feel like you were luxurious you went to Fredricks. Victorias Secret is that she wishes she could do sexy like Freedricks. The next afternoon when I walked into Fredricks of Hollywood I was noticed. My hair was all loose curls, my clothes fit, my toes were neon green and that Urban Decay makeup I bought looked great! I was a sexy bitch. I felt sexy and when you feel sexy you just put sexy out there. People feel it. I walked out with the sexy in a Fredricks bag. To this day Fredricks is it! Just SEXY!
Yes, sexy is an attitude. It's a way. We are all sexy when we're young. We don't really have to try. But once life kicks you in the ass and you have to learn to be an adult and keep your sexy...sexy looses. We have to get the kids to school, we loose track of ourselves teaching them to be good kind human beings. We put our families, our jobs and everyone and everything before ourselves. We lose our sexy. Sexy is a part of who we are. This is how I found my sexy again. How are you going to find yours?