At the age of fifty-five I started looking for my sexy again. I have lost it several times in my life. It left in my thirties and it took until my forties to find it again. Again, it left when I turned fifty-three. This time it was harder to find. I had to redefine myself. There's nothing harder than redefining yourself. This time my nest was going to be empty. My little chick was going away to school. I had always been a mom, a single mom. A single mom whose boyfriend of many years had just broken up with her. I was not feeling sexy. I wasn't feeling anything but empty.
I recently went through a little stint where nothing I did made me feel "sexy" in the most feminine sense of the word. After being on a major weight loss journey, I gave in to all the negative thoughts I had about my body and spiraled. Night after night, I'd ask my fiancé if I was "sexy enough" for him. How could I be "sexy enough" for him? And every time I'd ask, he'd give me the same little roundabout answer: "You're pretty, and that's enough for me."
is shadow illuminated on the wall behind him. The light of the candles dancing along the stone walls. He slowly stepped along the dirt path that laid in front of him. As he reached the end of the path he came upon a small wooden door that had a small black knob on it. When he tried turning the knob the door wouldn’t budge. He tried jiggling the knob to see if it would come loose but there was still nothing. The ever so curious man quietly pressed his right ear against the wooden door to see if he could hear anything.
I knew this was something I wanted to do at some point in my life, I just had no idea when. It was sort of a bucket-list item that had no plan. I didn’t expect it to happen when it did, having just experienced an emotional rollercoaster of a year.
Yeah.... I’ve seen a few
Sexy pregnant women?
Yeah.... I’ve seen a few of them, too.
But do THEY feel sexy?
I’ve said it for years, but now it is time to write a post about it. Women aren’t sexy; sexy is women. Sexy with all of its suggested meanings and breathtaking attributes, actually defines women as a term and as a gender. I’m not talking about the super models you see either; though they too are sexy, of course. I am talking about the average woman that graces your life as well as mine. The woman who seems to think that every pair of jeans in her closet, but one, will make her butt look too big. Same woman that swears her hair hates her; despite the fact that all we want do to is run our fingers through that same hair.
Within some societies, women are almost always expected to wear and know about makeup, and when one doesn’t, she must be prepared to explain herself. Alicia Keys is a prime example of this. She literally had to sit down and explain why she decided to go makeup free on the cover of her album, Here. As if that wasn’t bad enough, a lot of people were offended and outraged by her choice. Twitter was at it on the night of the 2016 VMAs, where a makeup free, Keys graced the event. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but not all women know or even care for makeup and that's okay. 2 years ago, I was a clueless girl that barely knew anything about this world. I didn’t even own lip gloss, okay? The aspect was foreign and unnecessary to me, but my interest grew. I was captivated and enthralled in learning about myself and journeying through my femininity, and through it all, YouTube was there – that little search engine that would lead to many teachings that molded parts of me.
Body positivity and plus-size models have taken things by storm. Our social media feeds may still be imploding with thin models, but it is met with friendly competition from women of all shades strutting their curves. As a plus-sized woman myself, this is very refreshing to see and my younger self would have loved to have seen this type of representation growing up.
A girl should be two things: who and what she wants
A little while ago, I was talking with a male acquaintance and one comment that he had made still resides, unfortunately, within my working memory: That he defined me as a ‘girly-girl’ because I wear makeup.
With your basic morning rituals, you need to follow a beauty regime as well. Beauty habits that you develop early in the morning will help your skin get a great glow.
I was 14 when my father first told me I needed to start wearing makeup.
"You start high school tomorrow," he had said. "You need to start taking care of yourself and making yourself look good."
The first time I saw Shakira was in Whenever, wherever video and I genuinely did not feel threatened by the usual celebrity perfection, on the contrary, finally a girl out there with curves. The next thing I know I am dancing on that good vibe track all around the kitchen. But I still was not an addict. That came three video releases later.