Bitch

Got your attention, didn't I? Feeling like I might be pushing my luck with that title?

Good. She won't mind.

Hey, I am just a regular guy with the odd habit of occasionally sitting in front of this screen and spitting out stories from my life. Some of you know that I have lived overseas, that I am Canadian, black, male, teaching in Montréal with a weak grasp of French that does not really matter, come from an immigrant family, and have seen and done a lot of strange and unique things. You may even like my work and have commented on my successes and failures. But you do not know the whole story.

You do not know about her.

I met her when we were both undergrads. I had a tutorial and we were both debating a topic that escapes me. What drew us to each other was the fact that I said she 'dressed like an accident', and that I 'know too much about the subject to be here'. From there, we ended up studying together, going to open-mic readings (usually, I embarrassed myself with my public poetic pitches - yes, I will talk about it one day, and no, I will never type that phrase again), cafés, parties, more lectures and talks...and that was that.

She was never my girlfriend. I was the guy who would hear all about the guys in her life who disappointed her. Not the most comfortable position to be in as a student who did not have much success dating (one story involved a friend who was soon to be revealed as someone...lacking below the belt - you fill in that blank, if you dare). I often wondered why nothing happened between us, besides me being a shy and nervous kid who was just happy to have a friend he could talk to. And then, one day, it was revealed to me that I was 'giving out the wrong signals'. And during one study session, in front of another student whom I just met, she announced, 'If you weren't so serious, I'd sleep with you.'

Yeah, school was a delight.

My last memories of her are her wedding...and my departure. She was visibly pregnant when she took her vows. And nothing stopped her from enjoying her special day. It was wonderful to see her dressed in traditional clothes - Hindu - and to see how awkward some of the relatives felt when she passed from table to table, saying hello, offering praise and just being herself.

And then, we departed. I was heading off to Japan. She would soon be grabbing a plane to go off to South Africa and her new life. We did try to make a sort of effort at staying in touch, but it was another life lesson that I had to learn: married lives and single ones do not mingle.

So, why was she the inspiration for this entry?

She got me out of my own head.

She made me realize that I could actually write (my first and best critic).

She made me see that life is to be lived, not feared and taken so seriously that you never really live.

For all of this, I am still grateful. And yes, she would love the title!

Keep slaying, my queen. We still need your wise example.

*

Thank you for reading!

If you liked this, you can add your Insights, Comment, leave a Heart, Tip, Pledge, or Subscribe. I will appreciate any support you have shown for my work.

You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

Give it a look...