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Self-Growth in the Year 2020

by Dez's Public Journal 12 months ago in beauty

In a year filled with never-ending chaos, I finally found the good in something: falling in love with myself

In the beginning, no one expected their entire year to be a living hell. For many reasons, everyone has suffered tremendously in their own ways. In simple terms, covid-19 has disrupted everything; leaving the world permanently scarred.

I remember transferring to my university, settling in, and then not even a month later was sent back home due to the covid outbreak. For almost a year now, I've fought with myself in figuring out what I want to do career-wise, where I want to live, and who I am as a person, individually. 2020 hasn't been a year of success for me; only a devastating year of setbacks.

One good thing I've seen in myself this past year is the change in my body and the change of mind I have towards my body. I've always despised the person reflecting in the mirror, always hated my height, and weight, and features that made me, me. I'm human and compare myself to every other female on the planet because they never appear flawed in my eyes. How does one compare to someone with glowing skin, the perfect height, body, and face? I hated myself for years when I never should have. My body has gone through so many physical changes that I'm astonished by and grateful for. The weight loss at school, the weight gain during endless months of quarantine. The going back to work and being slimming back down again. Every day I noticed the changes in my body, whether before or after eating, waking up, or going to sleep. The changes are constant. I'm a very petite person. With a towering height of 4'11 and a very slim, even-figured shape, I am beautiful and have every reason to love who I am.

This is also the year that I finally found the comfort in being okay with wearing no makeup on my face. I rarely wear makeup now. I love the freckles that cover my entire face. My bright blue/teal eyes shine brightly in the sun. The way others smile when they see me smile. I found my natural beauty and it is so beautiful to obtain. Besides, with a mask on your face most of your day, there's really no point in putting any makeup on, to begin with, right? Covid has shown me that even on bad days, I am still radiant and glowing.

It remains a mystery, where I wish to live or what I want to do with my life because the choices are endless. How can you possibly rule your choices down to one or the other? That seems nearly impossible. My self-growth is only a snippet of all the self-growth stories I've read and heard since 2020 hit us all like a truck. Finding self-growth and self-love in even one or two areas of my life has been a blessing. Despite how dark this past year has been, good things have happened in my life. Don't let your insecurities, resentments, or hesitations set you back. Instead, tell them to "get out of the way" because you're so much better than they are.

A question for every single person reading this: has there been any self-growth in your life? If so, how has it been helping you move forward with your life?


Dez's Public Journal

A candle trying to be the light in someone else’s darkness.

In college for Criminal Justice

- Musician and Writer

Instagram: _dezzzzzz_


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