I want to bloom like this flower 🌸Live life without care and enjoy my children each day. That's what I have always wanted and it is what I did do until... one day... searing pain inside my lady parts. I just didn't understand what was happening. I gave birth 12 months ago and developed what I thought were hemorrhoids. As most of you probably know, this is nothing unusual whilst pregnant or even after childbirth. But little did I know.
No one tells you, it's an unspoken "thing" even now. Some doctors don't even know that much about it. Schools don't teach anything about it either. I can't believe how many ladies suffer in silence because they are so embarrassed about it. It's sad.
So what am I talking about?
Prolapses, yes, that is right. A lot of ladies suffer from this at some stage in their life, from young to old. It is a very common thing that can happen to us ladies. But yet it's an unspoken subject. We are uneducated, although it's something that should be basic knowledge. It happens and you don't want to tell anyone because you feel so embarrassed that it's happening to you and it feels so private. Even admitting it to your partner can be frightening as questions arise, whether they will understand or not. Insecurities and feeling your body is at fault. It's where the muscles inside the vagina are just too weak to hold it all in. Everything shifts downwards. Even the bowels can push through the back walls of the vagina.
If all this would be taught and women would be more aware, then maybe one would not feel so overwhelmed and negative about it.
My prolapse happened because I have had children, but I believe that things like heavy lifting, exercising wrong, or simply having weak vagina muscles can cause these too.
When the doctor told me what has happened, I could not believe it and still now I am a bit shocked and in disbelief.
Simple things like going for a walk and pushing the pram can end up making me feel like I am dragging myself along. Some days I hardly get anything done because I just feel too heavy below. I wonder about my future now with an operation lying ahead. My life has changed and it will never be the same as I have to adjust how I do things.
Lifting my own 18 month old for cuddles, picking her up when she falls, lifting her in the pram... They are all going to be a big no-no, so I don't damage myself any further or have another prolapse. It's heartbreaking for me as my natural responses have to change. I feel a bit cheated to be honest, and I feel guilt that I can't physically be the mummy I want to be.
To all mummies out there: Tell your girls what a prolapse is. Educate your friends and family. Don't let them stand in the dark. I feel that if I would've been told sooner that this can happen, there would've been many things I would've done different in life. Bending my knees when lifting, wearing a support belt when weightlifting, exercising my pelvic floors every day, several times a day. If I would've know why I should do all this, I would've done it, but now it's to late.
A beginning to a new life. Now that I know more and I've done my research I feel much better and know I am not alone. And you aren't alone either. Where there is a will, there is a way.
I can do this. You can this. We can do this.