The Swamp logo

The Speakeasy

Dismembering the art of healthy debate.

The Speakeasy

Conservatives are the new counterculture. Or are we? Either way, I like it. Do you know what I love about us? Many things, but my absolute favorite is how we come out swinging when we’re backed into a corner. You can take comfort knowing that when your fundamental rights get trampled on ~ like freedom of speech ~ we’ll buck.

General Emiliano Zapata famously said, “It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.” He was far-left (and far-anything is where the trouble starts). But a villain to some is a hero to the rest.

Even libertarians are eating their own. A letter recently published in Harper’s Magazine ~ written and signed by some of the greatest, most respected minds of our time ~ vehemently declared that censorship has gone too far. Juggernauts like J.K. Rowling, Salman Rushdie, and Margaret Atwood condemned the mobs and their oppressive “Cancel Culture.”

Cutting off your nose to spite your face.

What’s the big fear in giving everyone a voice? Is it that we’re too fragile or too gullible?

Several companies pulled their July ad campaigns from Facebook because Mark Zuckerberg refused to increase censorship. What these boycotting businesses fail to see is they don’t run ad campaigns on Facebook to help Zuckerberg’s bank account ~ they do it to increase their own bottom line.

Ads bring in business, full stop. Their consumers aren’t using Facebook less in July, they’re just seeing a competitor’s ad and spending their money with them instead. Maybe permanently.

Killer alien robots?

By this point, we’ve all read a few kooky predictions in the smorgasbord of anti-lockdown hype. I'll give everyone my attention (once) and self-grade each hypothesis on a sliding scale ranging from “possible” to “madness.”

Teetering on the outermost end of absurdity is how we can soon expect an invasion by extraterrestrials. Coronavirus was solely a way to make for lessened opposition. Hm. Right. No.

But it led me to reflect on ways such an attack on Earth would suddenly unite us against this common enemy. How all our distinctions and differences would instantly become irrelevant as we collectively fought as one human army. If that’s all it takes to heal us, then pass me a lightsaber.

Today’s conspiracy theory is tomorrow’s Gospel.

Galileo Galilei was an Italian physicist and astronomer who theorized the Earth was round, not flat, and orbited around the sun. He preached his scientific findings to leaders, fellow scientists, and disagreeing intellectuals. They charged Galilei with heresy and offered him the choice to retract and be silent or get sentenced to death and be burned at the stake.

What were Galilei's last words? "And yet it moves." 300 years later, it was confirmed he was right. Now, he’s a scientific hero.

Up until recently, climate change was widely regarded as a conspiracy theory. A quick throwback skim on Google reveals the shocking hypocrisy of how environmentalists were shunned and discredited. They were labeled trouble-making “tree huggers,” spreading false information to impressionable young minds.

And this is just the low-hanging fruit. I could go on forever, with historical example after example, but I know you’re smart enough to get the idea.

Truth is easy to spot in hindsight. That’s why it’s critical to have the foresight and denounce censorship so that we can listen to all possibilities and judge for ourselves.

“First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out -- because I was not a communist;

Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out -- because I was not a socialist;

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out -- because I was not a trade unionist;

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out -- because I was not a Jew;

Then they came for me -- and there was no one left to speak out for me.” ― Martin Niemoeller

controversies
Miss Charlotte
Miss Charlotte
Read next: New Mexico—It's like a State, like All the Others!
Miss Charlotte

A scrappy advertising guru from the Great White North

See all posts by Miss Charlotte