You Are Still Drinking Alcohol Because You Want To

Even though you say you want to quit drinking at some level, you don’t want to.

If you quit drinking for 30 days and then start again, it’s because on some level you want to.

You wouldn’t pile 10 beef burgers on your plate and eat them all at once because it’s uncouth and beneath you. But you don’t think drinking a bottle of wine a day and waking up with a giant hangover, and looking like crap is beneath you, otherwise you would have stopped and taken action.

If you keep “drinking pals” in your life who always get drunk and aren’t great to be around, you’re hanging out with them because you have low self-worth.

If you had self-respect and high self-worth, you wouldn’t even entertain being in the same room as them.

None of this is a random chance. It’s not fate or destiny working against you. It’s all down to you and the choices you are making. How you are choosing to show up and choosing to live your life.

Your choices are a reflection of how you see yourself. If you don’t think you’re good enough, you’re going to behave like you’re not good enough. And yes, your upbringing, background and current environment can and do play a part. But, at the end of the day, it all comes back to you and how you see yourself.

“I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking and anything that might hamper me from getting my mind and body together. And the floodgates of goodness have opened upon me — spiritually and financially.”

Denzel Washington

One of my hero’s Gregg Braden, teaches ancient wisdom. His video, entitled The Seven Essene Mirrors, struck a chord with me. He talks about how people and situations in your life are reflections of you. In part or in whole.

The drunk at the end of the bar is a reflection of you. The guy talking too loudly is a reflection of you. Your friend in a shitty marriage, who is drinking to numb the pain, is a reflection of you.

To change your situation, you have to change you. This is a challenge because you have no roadmap and no faith that it can work.

You have to behave like you are the new sober version of you. But how can you do that when you don’t know what sober you is really like?

All you can remember is how to get drunk. You’re stuck in your past.

It ain’t easy to get sober. It is hard.

You’re going to do everything to keep drinking. You’re going to tell yourself you can be fine if you just drink normally, or maybe just drink at weekends, or limit it to just one drink a day.

The bitter truth is that even though you know alcohol is bad for you, it’s just easier to maintain the status quo and do nothing.

If you quit drinking, you will have to change. You will have to get a new identity as a sober person. You may have to feel some physical withdrawal symptoms, and that can be painful. You might even be scared of experiencing them.

Some of these changes will be gut wrenching. You will be bored and frustrated and itch for a drink, but the hard path is the only way.

So here’s two steps you need to take.

Step 1 — Dump This Belief, It’s Holding You Back

Stop telling yourself you want to quit drinking.

It’s a lie.

Nobody likes change. You want to keep drinking because you are used to it. Even though it is damaging your health, your life is screwed up and you are constantly weighed down by guilt. You tolerate it and you keep on drinking.

The reason you haven’t quit is that on some level, the thought of never drinking again is worse than everything you are going through now.

You’d rather be puking in the toilet than fit and healthy.

You’d rather wake up with a hangover than face the reality of your day being sober.

You’d rather break your promise not to drink than endure a night without alcohol.

Why else would you want to keep drinking even when you don’t like it and it causes so much pain?

The truth? It’s an easy win game and theirs no effort needed to win.

There’s no thought or effort involved in opening a bottle and throwing the contents into your mouth, even if it is poison.

In a strange way, it’s easier to cut your insides to ribbons with a thousand drinks of death juice than it is to get out there and face a life without alcohol.

Living in perpetual torment, longing for a drink and then hating the fact you succumbed to that drink, is in some way easier than enduring the exquisite agony of not having the choice to reach for your poison whenever you think you need it.

When you drink, life is easy.

You might not be living your best life, but at least you can drown your sorrows in a bottle every night. You have nothing to lose. If you get sober, you might screw it up and fall off the wagon.

You might buckle under the pressure of creating a new better version of you and then if you start drinking again it’s going to feel so bad. Now, you’re gonna be a loser twice over. Once because you quit and failed and two because you tasted sobriety and now you’re back to being a drunk. It’s going to make everything worse.

When I look back at the crazy waste of my life, I’m sad. I wonder how the hell did I ever think that getting shit faced was the right thing to do. I wonder why I thought I was a loser, because I couldn’t afford $100 for a bottle of champagne with a meal. Jeez, what an idiot.

I gave priority to alcohol, but not to myself or my life. That’s a crazy stupid way to live.

I did my affirmations and watched YouTube to get inspiration to change my life, but I never truly wanted to quit the one thing that was really holding me back.

I’m pretty sure you’ve thought about quitting a million times.

You’ve probably put it off until after the holidays or after the weekend. It’s always I’ll quit tomorrow and never I’ll quit right now.

I’m not going to tell you it will be easy to quit, because it probably won’t. The quicker you accept that, the quicker you can start to make better choices and kick alcohol into touch.

The first step to change is to grow a pair. Man up and stop lying to yourself. Admit that you really don’t want to quit drinking because alcohol’s been your best buddy and you’re super scared to lose it.

When you can do that, then and only then do you have a shot at changing things.

The Secret to a Sexy Sober Life Is Actually an Unsexy Plan

If you are sober-serious or sober-curious read this.

ainyf.com

Step 2 — Behave Like the Sober Person You Want to Become

Yeah, I know. How can you behave like a sober person when you aren’t one?

Somewhere inside you, there is a distant memory of being sober and healthy and living an alcohol free life.

You don’t have to fake being a cool, collected, sober being. You just have to remember what it was like as a kid to be free from alcohol.

Okay, so you’re an adult now and you can’t behave like a kid. You don’t have to. You’re going to get creative and dream up a new sober life. It might seem a little strange and a little fake. That’s okay. You’re just trying out new stuff so you can see what works and what doesn’t.

Whatever you try, put your heart and soul into it.

Commit to it 100%. Don’t half-arse it. I’ve been there, done that and got the T-shirt. I discovered that nothing is going to work until you fully align yourself with the decision you made.

"You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear."

Sammy Davis, Jr.

Recently, I was lucky enough to see this in action. It was 6am in the morning and I was sitting on a park bench enjoying the peace and quiet. Two teenage lads appeared, ready to start running. One was clearly a runner. He looked the part. He was slim and kitted out in sports wear. The other carried a little weight and wore a jacket and inappropriate clothes.

They set off. The slim one leading.

He ran rhythmically, arms moving easily, his stride long and easy. His face relaxed, yet determined. He had a goal, and he was committed to it. Step after step, strong, confident, committed.

His friend trailed behind. Uncoordinated, looking stressed and uncomfortable, and clearly not wanting to be there. It was painful to watch and I could just tell he didn’t want to do it. He lasted a mere 10 metres and gave up running. To his credit, he did start again and again and again.

He was a young, healthy guy, but he let his mind win. He wasn’t really committed to the run, and it showed.

Getting sober is gong to demand commitment.

Being and staying sober is going to need a new you to step up and take charge. So take some time to plan what you want to do and who you want to be.

Oh wait. That’s never going to happen!

It’s not going to happen because you’re too afraid. You’re afraid of life without alcohol, you’re afraid of falling off the wagon. You’re afraid you won’t be able to say no to that drink the next time the shit hits the fan or you’re just too bloody tired to think.

When you’re not fully committed to going cold turkey and abstaining completely, you can tell yourself all sorts of crap and do all sorts of deals because there’s always tomorrow. I know I did.

I have read a ton of self-help books, been on a shed load of courses and watched countless videos. If only I had gone all in and actually committed and followed the wisdom I had garnered instead of being a snowflake and wimping out.

This is what I should have done.

Figured out what type of person I wanted to become

Taken action that was in line with what that person would do

Rinsed and repeated so I lived and breathed the new me.

Believe it or not, this is doable.

How do I know it is doable? Because I am finally doing it.

I started my transformation on 01.01.2022. It took me 13 months to really “get it” and to start to feel and notice a difference. From 27.02.23 to 21.06.23, my improvement has been exponential and I feel like I’m a different person. It’s marvellous!

I’m not special, I’m not Wonder Woman. Most people would dismiss me as being too old to change. They would be wrong. You are never too old to change. I learnt that from teaching Japanese students, some of whom were in their late 70s and searching for a new career direction or preparing themselves for new sporting events.

YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR DRINKING BEHAVIOUR.

Make the choice to quit alcohol. Make the choice to build a sober life but go all in.

Yes, it’s going to be a challenge, but you can face it and you will feel better for it.

There’s no way I could go back to my drinking days. I couldn’t spend my precious evenings in a bar with people who talk rubbish and then can’t talk at all. If I want to go to a fancy restaurant, I can go and just enjoy the food and not feel compelled to shell out a small fortune to poison myself.

Okay, stop reading now and go make your plan for an incredible sober life.

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