writers and mental health

Its been a while since I've written something for here and that is a shame but it couldn't be helped. I have been dealing with stress and it was showing in the way that i feel about my writing. So i just basically gave up for a while until i could bring myself to even jot down stuff.

The poems were not coming as easily as they usually do and neither were the ideas for stories so i quit again. I gave up blogging as well and was basically mentally kicking myself to finish the article I had started on the other website that I write things for. I found that this lack of creativeness was carrying over into my daily life as well and all I wanted to do was sleep..... that is when i wasn't taking care of my family.

But the one person who I think I forgot about in the equation was me ..... the writer herself. I learned that by ignoring myself and what was going wrong with me mentally that it was also manifesting itself physically as well.

Without a healthy mindset and respect for the soul you can feel that you are losing yourself. Mental health is something we all need for our well being. When I realized that my mental health and well being was starting to suffer,I said who cares and hid in denial telling myself it wasn't important. That lasted from the end of July until mid September.

Towards mid september i started thinking about my upcoming birthday (its past now) and started breaking down even more into depression because I felt guilty that people who i had loved and knew were dying or had passed away while I was still here. The day of my birthday.......i cried and wanted to hurt myself but knew that others needed me. Later that night, after all the happy birthdays had been said...... i pulled out one of my notebooks and started a new journal entry since the last one three months prior. By the time two hours had passed, I had completely filled the last part of the book with thoughts of the pain that was coursing through me and how it was affecting me.

That has been what I have doing the past two weeks, dealing with my building depression and writing down the things that were wearing down my spirit despite the stressors in my life. My journal has been filled with the things that are keeping me grounded in spirit and joy as well as new thoughts and ideas on what i want to accomplish with my writing.

So..... during that time ,i have written and scrapped several ideas for stories that just seemed to be what I've already written but with a new title. One of them was the second part of "playtime with toy." Don't worry she isn't going anywhere anytime soon i love her cause she is a part of me. Besides now that I have started writing about Miss Brooke (a real domme and friend), toy and her/my Master/Daddy will pop up at some point.

These stories and the other things that i write are a great counter point to my soul because they are the frivolity that balances the seriousness of my other works. I felt that by writing this it would explain what has been happening with me and why i've gone quiet......

Now here is one of the ideas that kept hurting my brain in wanting me to flesh it out. The proposed ( may change) title is " The Domme's Punishment." * might be a funny change of pace to have a sub punish her Domme....... we shall see.