Why pessimism is important to me

Sarcasm and humour have always been a great defense mechanism for me. I over exaggerate, making sweeping statements at the smallest things. I’m pessimistic, I joke about feeling rubbish and how much I'm struggling. I don't think that being pessimistic is a negative thing. I really don't. Due to the cards I have been dealt in life it's been a struggle to see the world through rose tinted glasses. This does not mean that I see my life as a tragic existence, I just see it through my reality. It's been hard but by joking about it, I can take it for what it is and laugh. If we can’t laugh at ourselves and our misfortunes then things become even heavier and daunting.

Being able to turn things into a joke made everything for a split second seem a little less dark. I believe this is true for a lot of people. We all choose to express and deal with our hardships in different ways. Humour for the most part has been a coping strategy that although doesn't solve the problem, allows a little happiness and laughter in a usually darkened reality.

With the rise of social networks, so has the discussion on mental health. The internet is covered in memes about depression, anxiety and pretty much anything else you can think of. A lot of people take the stand point that by making fun of things we are dulling down the actual importance of the issue. I do understand this opinion and see where it comes from, but unfortunately i feel as though they have missed the point entirely. Yes, humour is being used to dull something but that is not the importance. The majority of people that create these things are people that have suffered with mental health, that spend the majority of their days feeling empty and helpless. By being able to use humour as a creative outlet actually opens up the discussion for people that otherwise would continue to suffer in silence. When it becomes a toxic situation is when people start to idolise depression or become aggressively mean towards others. Depression is not cool or fun, it’s annihilating and tiring and being mean to someone about it will only further their struggle. That’s something I want to make very clear.

In my opinion by joking about my issues completely took the power away from them. Before I crammed every emotion and feeling I had into a little box that I hid in the back of my mind. It was exhausting and painful. Through joking about it I could express myself which eventually lead to me opening up about all the things i felt in a serious way. It brought laughter back into my life, it made me feel funny and for the minute i was laughing about it and it was no longer choking me.

Sarcasm and pessimism have become a huge part of my life but that does not mean that i have blocked out the ability to be happy or see the light in the world. I wish for great things, I have dreams and hopes. My depression is not the end of me but as it stands at this point in time, it is a part of me. I spend every day in a constant fight with it. I know I will beat this demon that seems to cling to me and hold me like a mother scared to let go of her child. I’m determined to smile one day at how happy I am instead of laughing at how bad it is. Until that day though i will continue to make jokes, be pessimistic with a slight edge to my life. I enjoy it and I don't think there is anything wrong with being able to laugh at myself in a world where I have always felt like the but of the joke. Now it's my joke and I get to choose the punch line.