Why Bother Keeping Your Anger in Check?

Giving helpful advice about anger is something I'm totally in favor of, especially since I no longer have the quick temper I used to have years ago.

Nothing really happened to me, to help me change me from being a hothead, to a pretty even-tempered person. I guess the change just came over the years, as I got older and started to mellow out.

But even though no major eruptions in my life happened as a result of my temper; my anger issues definitely caused me enough arguments and rocky relationships during the course of my life.

If you're a person that tends to get mad at the drop of a hat, this story contains information you should really find of interest.

Is Anger Good for You?

We've all heard the expression that "a little anger never hurt anyone". In fact, most of us would probably agree that there is nothing wrong with getting mad once in a while.

Not only that but popular opinion says that it is only natural to get angry once in a while. If you don't get angry sometimes, you bottle it all up, and end up doing more harm to your health than good.

But additional studies indicate although there is a big problem with people bottling things up, anger is not really the answer.

One Berkley University study had this to say on the subject:

"It turns out, however, that this type of emotional venting likely doesn't soothe anger as much as augment it. That's because encouraging people to act out their anger makes them relive it in their bodies, strengthening the neural pathways for anger and making it easier to get angry the next time around."

In essence, if you wait until you're angry to have a "release", the results can be just as bad as or worse, than the results form keeping feelings bottled up.

Clearly then; for the sake of your health and personal well-being, the answer is striking a balance. You cannot afford to either keep things bottled up, OR to release them in a fit of anger. Either situation will cause you nothing but stress, and often erupt in a negative way.

It is a well-established fact, that heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, and a host of other illnesses can be caused or triggered by excessive stress in a person's life.

Stress comes in many different forms and can even result from a positive situation (such as marriage, the birth of a child, a new job, a new relationship, etc.).

One of the most common, day-two-day stressors is anger. Why we get angry, and how we handle anger should be of great concern to us all.

So as for the statement about a little anger not hurting anyone; this is really one of those misconceptions that can cause us to jeopardize our mental health.

Everything comes down to balance

It's funny how everything important in life always seem to come down to balance. Balance is needed in daily life. You just can't allow yourself to bottle stuff up, BUT, don't allow things to constantly erupt, while you fail to show any self-control.

Trust me, I get it.

Maybe sometimes you just find yourself having a hard time holding your temper? Perhaps it's not you, but you know someone that always has a tendency to fly off the handle and say the wrong thing when they get mad.

All of us either know someone like this, or God forbid, WE may actually be that person. Whatever the case, it is important to know why we should bother with controlling our emotions.

“Oh, that’s just them”. No doubt you’ve heard this said about the loud mouth who everyone knows is going to end up “going off”.

No matter how much this type of behavior may be a part of their personality; this is definitely not the way to handle a bad situation. In fact, it can only make matters worse!

Loss of control is exactly the type of behavior that can lead to much more than just a lovers’ quarrel. Failing to control ones’ emotions has led to many break ups, divorces, even violent crimes within a relationship. That includes marriages, friendships, families, and romantic involvements.

As long as we are living and breathing, disagreements with other people will occur. That is why it is so important to learn how to deal with them properly.

It may not even be the actual incident that causes a problem to escalate, but rather, the way people react to the incident. When you fail to get control of your feelings, you can cause a minor incident to get completely out of hand.

Learn how to let things cool down when arguments occur. Don’t allow a loss of self-control to end up ruining your relationships.

Remember, there is always a right way to handle anger, and losing your temper with loved ones is NOT it.

You can start with these 6 tips to help control your emotions:

6 TIPS:

1. Do your best to stay calm and don’t allow yourself to be swept up in your emotions. Instead of concentrating on how you FEEL, focus more on the actual situation so you can use sound reasoning.
2. If emotions are running too high, go take a little walk so you can distance yourself, not just from the person involved, but also from the problem.
3. Take the time to listen and really hear what the other person is saying. Remember, they may be speaking from the emotions that THEY are caught up in, so you don’t want to end up fanning the flames.
4. Be sure that you have properly conveyed your own thoughts and feelings to the other person without using negative emotions to do it.
5. Take the time to identify the EXACT problem and try hard to see it from the other person’s perspective.
6. If the mood isn’t too heated, discuss solutions to whatever the problem is, as well as the possible consequences of those solutions (so the cure doesn’t turn into another argument :-)

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