What Moves You?

A few days ago, a close friend and I dove into a deep conversation about life, about whether true love is really real, about what makes us feel safe, whether we like ourselves or not- you know, the normal things to be discussing at 3 am in the morning. These type of conversations are my favourite to have, as I believe without thinking about the philosophies surrounding our own lives, we can never be able to truly understand ourselves. He then asked me this one question: "What moves you?" I asked him what he meant. "What gets you through the day and helps you get through something when nothing else can- apart from me of course."

This question stumped me. It made me realise that I have never really paid attention to my own habits- what do I do most when I'm feeling upset or defeated? "Give me a day or two to think, and then I'll tell you," I replied. He told me maybe writing about it would help me figure it out, so I am.

As I write this, I cannot help but think about my childhood. If I had to describe my childhood in a word, I would use the word turbulent, and I, like many other children, had many feelings from which I wanted to escape. Fear that I will never meet the standards that people set for me. Shame for making those around me feel disappointed. Confusion about who I am. The accumulation of these tumultuous emotions often caused me to spiral into an inner whirlpool of anxiety , and I yearned for a way to stop time- to, purely, take a break from my mind.

I had always been an ardent reader, picking up random books about Mythology or reading the entire collection of “Biff, Chip and Kipper” books from my primary school library. By the age of 10, these slowly morphed into novels such as the famed Harry Potter and Percy Jackson series. I used to think I loved reading books so much because it was my favourite hobby- my preferred pastime. However, I then came across this quote by W. Somerset Maugham: “To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.” This quote, without a doubt, changed my perception of why I have such an adoration for books entirely.

I feel like reading, for me, is very similar to astral projection: when I read, my spirit falls into a world beautifully unique to the one I experience. I become engrossed in otherworldly landscapes and people with relationships, hardships, and characteristics that take up the entirety of my mind only when I read those hypnotising words on the page. I allow myself to dissociate from my mind, even if it is just for a short while, and exist in the world of someone else’s. I learn how to better myself using the vibrant and exciting lives of the characters in my books. It moves me in a way not a lot of other things can.

Hence, I have found that when I feel like I am mentally unable to carry on with my day- when my chaotic emotions are engulfing me too tight- my hands reach for the nearest book. I let my mind take a break from this world by living in the stories of another. Once I come back to my mind, it feels rejuvenated, and I feel like I can move on with my day without any pressure.

The answer to the question “What Moves You?” will be different for every person. However, I believe it is something that can make you feel awe, admiration and help you get through any day. Reading- exploring worlds I would otherwise never be able to imagine- indubitably moves me every day.

What moves you?