What Do You Overcome Every Day?

Everyone in the world carries something whether it's a worry, pain, grief or suffering. Some carry way more than others.

It's okay, to not be okay.

What do you carry every single day? What do you have to overcome each morning to get to your "normal"? 

Do you rely on prescription medications to keep you healthy? Or do you need a caffeine fix to get yourself going?

It's in the silence that we say the loudest things, and our bodies scream them through how we act.

What's your body telling you?

Are you in pain after that tennis or football game? 

Do you carry tension in your shoulders due to stress before a deadline or an exam?

Did you pull an all-nighter at work, or studying?

Did you get enough sleep last night or were you tossing and turning from nightmares?

Are you grieving someone who's died recently, or the end of a relationship?

Are you going through a divorce and custody hearings?

Are you struggling with money to make ends meet?

Are you juggling work and taking care of dependents or sick relatives?

Are you suffering from trauma due to memories of war?

Are you in an abusive relationship? Or suffering the aftermath of it?

We all carry something, and it can be tough. For some of us it can be consuming our every day - just to stay "normal."

First of all, there's no such thing as normal. The word "normal" is just a word, but it carries different meanings depending on where you live and what your life is like.

You measure yourself to those around you without thinking.

The way your colleagues speak and behave. The way they dress. You are doing it too without even thinking about it.

Look around you on your commute to work, in the gym, the mall, the food market or wherever you go. 

What do you see? Who do you see?

Do you see the mom in the food market with a gaggle of kids following her every move? Do you see the way she's holding herself, and the way she speaks? Do you notice the way her smile doesn't reach her eyes?

What's her story? What kind of day has she had to get to this point?

Do you see the old homeless man sitting with his dog outside the same coffee place? His eyes are hollow but he still looks up at you as you pass by him hoping for you to spare him a Dollar or two.

What's his story? What kind of night did he have in the storm?

The business men or women who turn up in limos with an escort behind them. Their doors are opened for them and they get out in perfect Armani suits, or business dresses and high heels.

What are their stories? What did they have to get through to be there?

It's all an act we play. We put on our proverbial masks, or onion skins -whatever you call them, and we get through our days the only we we know how. 

You are who you are because of what your life is like right now.

The only person you can really change is yourself, but you can make an impact on other people too.

Through gestures of kindness. 

You can help alleviate someone's pain or stress by showing kindness.

I'll give you an example. My colleague brought me a cup of coffee without asking. It meant the world to me because in that moment I was struggling. I didn't realize how much, until the coffee cup sat on my desk when I turned around. 

It made me smile because someone saw me.

What do you do when you see someone's struggles?

You could provide your time to sit with someone to listen away from others. You could help someone by giving them an option to reach out for specialist help. 

A crisis line. A women's shelter. A life line away from whatever situation is causing the pain.

There is help out there. People who care and who have the means to help you. 

Do not struggle alone.

People fascinate me. I can't help wondering about their situations and my mind runs with scenarios of how they got to this point in their lives. 

Why are their eyes hollow? What have they seen or lived through to make them act that way? 

Who are they? How are they feeling? How did they get to this point in their lives? What did they have to overcome to get here?

It makes me wonder what I look like to others. Do people see my pain and what I carry still, even after years of therapy? I'm in pain and there are times when I feel overwhelmed by it. Yet I carry on and fake it, even when I'm dying in a war of emotions inside. 

I know some of you feel the same way.

We are all the same on the inside. We are made of flesh and bones. We have beating hearts and brains. We all came to be, out of love.

Then life happens. 

We change as we go through life and we struggle. Everybody does at some point or other. Some people struggle every day.

Do you see them? Do you see their pain?

I do. 

It reminds me that we are all human beings. We feel so much and yet we carry on because life is beautiful too. I see pain as something you overcome each day because life is worth it. 

That smile on a student's face when they get something right. The hugs from my kids after their school days. The love and friendships from every day.

I see people because I've lived through trauma and abuse. I see it all, the pain, the suffering, the tension, the sadness. Emotions stand out like blaring headlights to me. It makes me wonder what caused them and what I can do to help.

I see my students at school. I know them and their backgrounds. I see how much they have to carry every day. I see the masks they don to get through class. The anxiety they carry before each exam.

The way you feel is evident in how you act, in what you say and how you say it. It's even there in your posture and those headaches or stomach aches you always complain about. 

I see it all, clear as day.

Do you see people's struggles?

So, I ask again. What did you have to overcome to get here?

If you need help, ask for it. Ask for it today because there is help out there.

My name is Lizzy. I'm a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

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For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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More from Elizabeth Woods:

How Do You Manage Stress?

https://medium.com/activated-thinker/how-do-you-manage-your-stress-477b7a66153d

Are You Feeling Valued?

https://medium.com/illumination/are-you-feeling-valued-fc1376f695bc

Challenge Vs. Struggle

https://medium.com/activated-thinker/challenge-vs-struggle-af12e236afa2

What's Your Anxiety Variety?

https://medium.com/illumination/whats-your-anxiety-variety-552117898656

The Power of the Breath

https://medium.com/illumination/the-power-of-the-breath-3e7dd21d1f4e

Mental Health Matters

https://medium.com/illumination/mental-health-matters-0d145057cf5d