What a man is when he is in love is the whole truth of his humanity

What a person really is is hard to detect in everyday life. Everyone has learned to disguise themselves cleverly and show the best of themselves to others. With friends, the strengths and weaknesses in our personality structure are not so obvious. But when we deal with our relationships, these strengths and weaknesses are exposed as if under a magnifying glass. Of course, some people will say that there are a lot of people who cheat on their relationship, why didn't they get caught? In fact, those who cheat on the relationship, in the relationship problems have also revealed some truth, but the other side is not aware of it. Only those who are perceptive can see each other for what they really are when they are in love.

Common manifestations of relationships, and the truth behind them

Excessive attention seeking

In the course of a relationship, some people seek attention excessively. When you are with your partner, you will feel very happy and cheerful, and when your partner leaves, you will feel anxious. In order to alleviate this anxiety, they always consciously or unconsciously attract each other's attention. Including but not limited to sending some meaningless information, emoticons, sending some no pointing dynamic and so on. As long as their message gets a response, they get a temporary sense of peace. But even a few minutes late can make them feel worried, even angry and angry. If you still don't respond to them, the anger and anger will turn into remorse and guilt. Their moods are unstable and volatile.

Now you can understand this kind of people! They are like babies, and it is not acceptable for them to have their mother away from them even for a short time. Their inner strength is particularly fragile, they have no ability to be alone. With such a person, it's like trying to coax a child. You can only make them happy if you completely give up your own time and devote all your energy to them. But in reality, everyone should be responsible for his own life and should not rely on others too much. No matter what the relationship, no one is born to meet your expectations. Everyone should be his own first, second is someone else's parents, children, lovers and so on.

Sometimes hot and sometimes cold, sometimes far and sometimes near

In an intimate relationship, some people are hot and cold, far and near. These people are often referred to as "relationship cheaters" who act out of need, not love. In other words, when I call you, it's not because I miss you, it's because I need you. When they don't need each other, they don't even think about each other. It is a form of emotional deception to treat a lover as a tool to pay attention to each other only when needed. True love is unconditional positive attention; false love is conditional positive attention. The condition is that I only pay attention to you when I feel lonely inside. Focus on your purpose, is to let you satisfy my inner loneliness.

True love is unconditional positive attention. Unconditional positive attention refers to the ability to give immediate, positive attention whether one's mood is good or bad, or whether the other person's mood is good or bad. In other words, when I contact you, it's not that I need you, it's more that I think you need me. The essential difference between the two is: I need you, so I contact you, this is self-interest; I thought you needed me, so I contacted you. It was an act of altruism. True love is an act of altruism, not of self-interest. Since you love a person, you should be good to him and put yourself in his shoes. Not only can accept each other's good, also can accept each other's bad.

Full of negatives and rejections

In intimate relationships, some people always like to deny and reject each other, the truth is full of control. No matter what opinion or opinion you give, no matter what choice you make, it will be rejected and rejected. From the other person's point of view, everything that is not within their control cannot happen. Even if you ask the other person for permission, as long as the idea is not the other person's, it will be rejected. They will even pretend to ask for your opinion and then find an excuse to deny it and impose their own ideas on you. For example: they ask you whether you drink Coke or Sprite, if you answer Coke, they will say Coke is not good, Sprite! If you say Sprite, they will say Sprite is bad, drink Coke instead!

These performances, exposed the other side slowly control desire. According to the research of personality psychology, the desire to control is a relatively stable trait. A person with a desire to control, may stay with him for the rest of his life will not change. Many of the shortcomings that are invisible in ordinary times are exposed in an intimate relationship. If you can't stand a manipulative person, leave them as soon as possible. Don't expect such people to change. They are born with a desire to control. They are more likely to look for a dependent, non-assertive partner. It follows that there are certain human qualities that cannot be changed, but that can be seamlessly harmonized with the right people.

Unable to delay gratification

There is also a category of people in close relationships who are unable to delay gratification. If they want something, they have to get it right away, not for a second. In fact, such people have no sense of trust in their bones and will not trust anyone. With such a person, you will find that if you do not take care of him or her, he or she will become angry, angry, and even break up at any time. They don't have a trusting bone in their body, so they don't have feelings. Feelings are based on trust, they have no sense of trust to speak of, and do not know what feelings are. In their perception, as long as I can immediately meet my needs, then I will be with whomever.

In short, how a person behaves when he is in love is probably the whole truth about his humanity.