Appear THESE 5 KINDS OF REVENGE PSYCHOLOGICAL compensation, explain you to oneself CONCERN IS NOT enough

We all yearn to be cared for by others, so the question is, do you care about yourself? These are two different forces: to gain the attention of others, whose energy comes from outside; Self-care, its energy comes from within. The former is more powerful, but out of our control; The latter, though weak, is entirely within our control. Ideally, of course, these two forces work together to make our minds stronger. However, people spend so much energy on getting attention from others that they neglect self-care. A person who lacks self-care, who does not know how to love himself, will have the following five kinds of retaliatory psychological compensation.

5 Common retaliatory psychological compensations

Excessive consumption

Overspending is a retaliatory psychological compensation that satisfies our sense of security, satisfaction, identity and control. Of course, this satisfaction process is very short lived, so it is bound to lead to overspending. In the first purchase, you gain a sense of control over the product you choose. You buy some repetitive, useless items and gain inner security. Your willingness to spend money on yourself reflects your sense of identity; You get satisfaction in general. But in fact, from the time you buy the product to the time you open the package, all the feelings you had before are gone, so you are stuck in a second purchase, third purchase, constantly searching for this feeling.

Excessive fantasy

Excessive fantasy is also a kind of vindictive psychological compensation, it satisfies some of our needs. Almost all human needs can be "satisfied" through fantasy. Of course, this kind of satisfaction is a kind of psychological compensation. When people encounter setbacks in the real world, if they don't have enough courage and resilience to overcome the difficulties, they will fall into excessive fantasy. Subconsciously, people have a lot of internal needs that need to be met. The way to meet these needs is to constantly create, work hard, and realize yourself in reality. However, if these processes are blocked and the needs are not met, the individual will try to obtain psychological compensation through fantasy.

Excessive indulgence

Overindulgence is a retaliatory psychological compensation, which satisfies a need to break the rules and rebel. If a person is always subject to many limitations, whether from others or from himself, then he will have the impulse to break through the limitations. For example: in the rebellious period of children, have their own ideas. Originally very listen to parents' words, until have their own ideas, feel their previous behavior is childish. In order to deny their past, so will become over-indulgent, over-rebellious. Another example is a person who is originally very disciplined, lives a regular life and works hard. But after encountering failure, he that suffers emotional backbite, feel oneself to live very grievance suddenly. So he "liberated nature" and began to live a life of overindulgence.

alcohol

Addiction to alcohol is a retaliatory psychological compensation, which satisfies the individual's "sense of alienation". Indicates that the individual at this time in the reality of the overall frustration, has no courage to accept their own realistic situation. They do not want to face the overall frustration of life, let alone the inner complex emotions, only to alcohol to achieve the feeling of "escape from the situation". In many movies, there are similar plots. The hero's life is frustrated, addicted to alcohol, don't want to do anything, don't want to control anything. When people are busy and tired, of course, they can have temporary alienation. But if you can't get out of the alienation, then you will continue to sink.

Emotions internal friction

Emotional internal friction is a kind of retaliatory psychological compensation, which satisfies the individual's "feeling of being concerned". Before the emotional implosion, you must have neglected to care for yourself. You may be busy with work, or with something that you think is far more important than your inner emotions. So the emotions build up bit by bit, and after a certain point there is internal friction. At this point, you have to put all of your energy into the inner emotion, and it works. Think about whether you are feeling like a child. When it is quiet and nice to stay, you do not pay attention; When it cries and screams, it still doesn't attract your attention. Now, it is sick, you have to devote all your energy to take care of it, and influence your work and life.

How do you care about yourself?

Learn to listen to your inner voice

Learn to listen to your inner voice, which contains your complaints, complaints, and real psychological needs. If you ignore it, you will fall into the psychological compensation of revenge. You can interpret this voice as your emotions, or you can interpret it as a child inside you. All you have to do is listen to it at a set time every day and listen to what's being said. The reason for the fixed time is to avoid listening dependency. You can allow yourself to be angry, you can allow yourself to be sad, sad, but you will care for it, take care of it, comfort it. At the same time, remind yourself that you can only care and comfort yourself in a fixed time, the rest of the time to learn to overcome and endure.

Say "I love You" to yourself every day

The way to take care of yourself is very simple. Say "I love you" to yourself every day. Don't need you to care about yourself all the time, just need you to be able to greet yourself when you are free. Some retaliatory psychological compensation, to tell the truth is not healthy. If you take care of yourself and take care of yourself before these compensatory feelings set in, you can prevent this from happening. Who cares about themselves? It's your cognition, it's the mature part of your body. Who do you care about? In caring about your emotions, the less mature part of your body. Why should you care? Because it's a part of you, you don't care about it, it will mess with you.

In short, if you get caught up in vindictive psychological compensation, you don't care enough about yourself.