We Are NOT Prostitutes

A few days ago a friend of mine posted on a closed group forum about her dating life. She was introverted, sweet and kind, and I followed her up on her stories about rejection, being stood up and also feeling threatened by one of these co-workers who harrassed her constantly. A few weeks ago, she decided on going on a dating site Bumble and met this guy. She posted:

I had another man I’m talking to on Bumble ask me out for drinks this weekend. Since I haven’t heard from great date guy, I just went ahead and sent a text. Saying that I was making my plans for the weekend, are you still interested in getting together again?

October 7

She was excited, a little bit frightened but she was testing the waters. She was dating multiple people and found this person on that site. She met him for a date and he was planning on cooking at his house. But that was very too soon for her to trusting him to join him. So we suggested to go on a picnic with him at an crowded place like in a park.

He replied that he’d like me to cook (we talked a lot about my cooking skills, and my up and coming food blog) either at his place or mine, and have dinner outside.

Sounds like a great date, but maybe a bit in the future? I’m not comfortable going to his place or having come to my place on a second date.

Should I just tell him that I’d love to cook for him sometime in the near future, but that I’m not comfortable going to each others’ homes yet? I don’t know if that seems uptight or not.

I was going to suggest a walk and a picnic in one of the parks?

November 7

She went on a third date with this guy.

She supposed to have a nice afternoon, enjoying good food, and an open honest conversation detailing their interests, their dreams and their hopes for the future. Or perhaps remaining as friends if their connection doesn't happen. But what he done, she didn't deserve it AT ALL!

I feel horrible about my picnic date yesterday. It’s very disappointing because we had a great time on the 1st date and had a great time on the 2nd until the end. I’m disgusted with him, and I’m disgusted with myself.

We went to this animal sanctuary park. It’s mostly just a one way road that takes you through the sanctuary where they have free roaming animals.

We met up in the parking lot, and he said he would drive us around the park and asked if I wanted to have some wine while we drove through. I said sure.

We found a picnic table after driving a bit and had a very pleasant lunch. He kept pouring the wine and because I was kind of nervous (I’m shy), I kept drinking.

We drove around the park a few more times just talking and having a good time. He drove me back to the parking lot where we met, and without even kissing or anything, shoved his hand down my pants. I’m ashamed to say I was drunk, felt awkward, and let it happen. He then unzipped his pants and forced my head into his crotch. Luckily after a minute people came by.

He asked if he could take me somewhere so we could finish this and I said I wasn’t comfortable with that. So he said that’s OK I understand can you call me later so you can finish me off?

Whatever, dude. He texted to make sure I got home OK I said I did. About an hour later I get weird texts about am I going to be his good girl, clearly I know what he wants, am I in or out- I need to tell him now yes or no.

Then told me to call him.

I decided to call him because I had a feeling he was drunk and sure enough he was so wasted I couldn’t understand a word he said. He just kept saying he wanted me to call to finish them off. I said I think we’re on different pages. I’m looking for a relationship and it seems like you’re just looking for a hook up which I’m not into. He started rambling unintelligibly so I just told him I was going to bed. He called me 3 times, and I declined each one.

I texted him to tell him that I wasn’t OK with what happened that afternoon that I was drunk and I don’t feel good about what he and I did. So around 10 pm he apologized for what happened and says he feels bad that I regret it.

This morning texted me good morning like nothing happened. I kind of suspected he was a drinker as his evening texts are always have misspelled words, and sometimes don’t make sense.

This shit sucks, and I feel gross about myself.

To this coward who took advantage of my friend, and think that just because she was intoxicated, you can do whatever the hell you want to. You're an asshole! You're clearly a parasite! How dare you to treat her/women like prostitutes like sex dolls that you have to use and dump them after you're done? Do you have a mom? Do you have a sister? Do you have a daughter? How does your example will taught them? Do you know what that act is called? It is sexual assault! You can be in freaking jail for that! You can be stick with sexual predator's list for the rest of your life! Do you know that? Or have you been playing this game for so long?

Meanwhile, Bumble as well as every dating site out there doesn't have a background checks in place, at all! They're as much responsible for this snafu. There's documentaries, stories and articles about women of their horrors they went through with dating online. Some of them aren't alive! Many of them, are scarred for life! And Bumble, Eharmony, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid, Christian Mingle, Christian Cafe, Tinder, Hinge, Hilly among others should have to be accountable for this! It feels like these companies leave women to the slaughter instead of having the security in mind that these men they're dating doesn't have any convictions, or any stain in their records. Even plus, if they have to have a mental evaluation!

But the reality is this. Some guys are ruthless. Some guys doesn't want to marry these women or being commited to them. These women who are vulnerable, who are warriors, some who are in combat mode. Some who are mothers. Some who never had that chance of falling in love or in other cases who have bad luck in love. They deserve a helping hand, a hug, an honest conversation, walks in the park, slow dancing, offer support and encouragement. This woman doesn't deserve this. Every woman doesn't deserve this! To be treated like lower than a woman and more of a way to get laid in ways no woman should be treated, it is a cowardly and cruel act.

About my friend, she reported the guy on Bumble. But this isn't enough for this dating site to do anything about it. They should report any violence towards women or men to the authorities. Because if it doesn't, many women will fall victims to sexual assault, rape and even murder.