Monsters of Stone

Decades ago there's a Spanish song from the 80's by Argentinian singer Amanda Miguel called "Castillos" (Castles). In which her raunchy and aggressive voice mixed with sadness and anger sings a story of meeting a man who was offering a fairy tale full of optimism, hope and a happy ever after life to then during a storm or when the situation turns chaotic, she founds out who he was in reality. He was turning into a stone monster. The consequences of what she saw turned into a person who stopped dreaming, stop hoping, stop dreaming about having someone in her life.

In real life, these stone monsters are labeled in real life as con men. Cowards who preys on naive, desperate single women by offering empty dreams and broken hopes to them giving them in return distrust and hatred while ripping their confidence and their self-esteem and questioning what's left of their self-worth. For that, women have been bankrupt financially, mentally betrayed and even with taking their own lives in most cases. These men are left unpunished after they trick these poor women. There's tons of stories of women being conned by these selfish men, but for Benita Alexander it's wasn't the first or the last.

Alexander met "famous" surgeon Paolo Macchiarini during a taping of a series called "A Leap of Faith." Since that first time he looked at her, she got infatuated by his status and his generous nature. She was head over heels with this guy. So they have this whirlwind romance which includes going to Europe, shopping, going to ultra fancy restaurants and seeing the beauty of Italy. On Christmas day, he proposed to her and set the wedding date in the summer of 2015 and it was going to be the wedding of the year in which major celebrities and politicians were going to attend. It was a fairy tale story coming true, but just like this song, a storm was brewing.

An unknown friend wrote an e-mail that Pope Francis was scheduled going on a mission at the same day of the wedding and she was puzzled. So, she chose to confront the issue to Paolo which tried to convinced her that he will interrupt his duties to come to Italy and officiate the wedding. Then, another column fell down as she called a representative for a renown singer, and the person replied that this artist doesn't do weddings, and didn't have that wedding in his schedule. She immediately, gave the engagement ring back and hired a private investigator to figure it out more about Machiarini. In truth, he lied about everything, from his education, to his marital status. He claimed he was separated in the process of divorce, but there weren't nothing done. He was still living with his wife for 30 years, and have two kids. She faced it in her own eyes during a visit on what it was supposed to be her wedding day in Spain, where her friends visited his house were he lives with his wife.

"I rather go Blind, Boy!"

People were asking to Alexander, why you didn't find these common red flags?

"This was not some guy I picked up in a bar. This was a renowned, accomplished, established surgeon whom we had followed all over the world.” she replies. Most women get hypnotized by their position in society. The more positive reputation, the more attractive towards women. But for that con men create a false character of themselves to impress, they mostly use money, power or status to entice their victims. They use love bombing, they use pleasant gestures, words to make them feel safe, protected, is as they hit the jackpot when it comes to finding a good man. It only takes one tiny window of truth to see the dream of a wedding, having a husband and having a world together as a family collapsed.

And then, it is very difficult to stand up on your own two feet.

Having a lot of thoughts to think it's so common. You lost your world, your self-esteem, your confidence, your glow and all you have it's a shattered house with an chaotic fence, crying in a fetal position from hours to months to years. The pain is still there, even if it's less each day when there's going to be moments that it will ignite that pain again. So, what choices do women have? Forgive and forget? Going back to school to get a career and be self-sufficient that you don't require any help from any man? Being bitter? Start going to the gym and try to lose weight? Pray and hope that this nightmare will be over when someone comes along? The possibilities are endless. But the damage is done to the point that trusting any man will be impossible to rely on. It will require hours and deep hours of therapy to heal those wounds to be able to stand up again. But also it requires money if you don't have a good health insurance. And I'm serious! The question however is if these guys will get away with murder, emotional murder? Well, as a matter of fact some guys like Macchiarini are in prison for committing medical fraud by killing these people he operated on by placing a plastic trachea transplant. At the moment, no ones knows if his wife is siding with him or kicking his sorry ass. She basically disappeared into obscurity. Alexander however, got her groove back. Along with friends and family she picked up where she left off. She built herself, not with bitterness but with reason. Building walls, securing herself and protecting her daughter. She is now a producer for a show in Oxygen and she speaks openly about the affair to tell others that not everything that shines is made of gold. Meaning, even men with "prestige" and renowned status it hides their true character in order to take advantage of their money, their status and even their lives. Listen to the song and tell me, if you dealt with these con men?

No quiero mas castillos en el aire/Ni reyes que lastiman sin piedad.

(I don't want castles in the air/Neither kings who hurt without mercy)