She was in the hospital...again. According to my mom, she wasn't doing well. I didn't understand that "not well" meant "very bad". My sister had been in and out of the hospital multiple times but I didn't realize that this time she wouldn't return home. I didn't know that I'd have to soon say "good-bye".
My sister struggled with her health for most of her life and with each passing year the suffering increased. The pain that she dealt with from her endometriosis was excruciating. She had undergone surgery to have masses of cells removed from her organs but it didn't stop the pain. Her body seemed to build a resistance to medication very quickly so there was nothing to give her any relief. Most of her days were spent in bed, for too much movement would trigger the pain.
Chronic pain takes a toll on a person. In the case of my sister, it made her struggle with mental illness even more difficult. She had struggled with both depression and anxiety ever since she was a little girl. When she was bullied in middle school, her mental stability worsened. She was never the same after being the target of ridicule, mockery and lies. After trying many different medications, her doctor informed her that her body did not respond to medication and she would never not feel depressed.
Some people get dealt very difficult "cards" in life. My sister was one such person. Before she ended up in the hospital for the last time, she had to "fight through" each day. Even if the physical pain was less one day, the battle against depression remained. She was constantly stuck in a seemingly losing battle. Her "good" days became fewer and farther in between.
When the pain became too much to bear, and her mind couldn't see past it through the depression...death appeared to be the only answer. With each unsuccessful suicide attempt, our family would wonder if the next try would be her last. Though my parents tried to keep her safe, rarely leaving her unattended, she managed to get into the locked cupboard that held her pain meds. For seventeen days we fought to keep her with us, but in the end, God said yes to her deep desire to be Home with Him. She was now free from her tormenting pain and depression!
I was in the USA at the time and because this happened during the COVID pandemic, I wasn't able to go see her in the hospital in Canada. My parents would video chat with me from her hospital room but that was the closest I got to seeing her in person. When they took her off of life support; I couldn't watch. I chose not to video chat that day. I wanted to remember my sister and friend for who she was before becoming an unconscious figure lying on a hospital bed. When my parents wrote and told me that she now Home with her Savior, I wept. Losing someone you love is one of the hardest parts of being on earth! She was not only my sister but was also one of my best friends!
She believed in God and had accepted the gift of salvation that a person receives through Christ Jesus. I know that she is in Heaven with her Lord and Savior. That knowledge is the greatest comfort to me! I know that I will see her again!
My sister passed away in September of 2020. It has been more than 3 years now and yet, it feels like it has been so much longer! Her family and friends miss her greatly! But because of God's grace through the gift of Christ Jesus, we rejoice in knowing that she is now in a perfect body with no more tears and no more pain! My darling sister, I look forward to the day that we will see each other again and spend eternity together! I love you!
About the Creator
My name is Chelsea and I have been blessed with a neat life story. I grew up as a missionary kid in Thailand, moved to Canada when entering high school and then married an American man in 2019. I now reside in a small town in Idaho.