Understanding Dreams and How to Use Dreams to Have a Better Understanding of Yourself

Every night when we close our eyes and fall asleep, another part of our inner world comes alive. We dream.

Sometimes our dreams are ordinary. We may dream about people we know, places we have been, or events from our everyday lives. Other times, our dreams can be strange and mysterious. We may find ourselves walking through a house we have never seen, talking to someone who has passed away, flying through the air, being chased, discovering something we have lost, or experiencing an entire story that seems completely real until we wake up.

Most of us forget the majority of our dreams within a short time of waking. We get out of bed, begin thinking about the day ahead, and the dream that seemed so vivid only moments earlier starts to disappear.

But what if we paid more attention?

Dreams can provide an opportunity to explore thoughts and emotions that may not receive our full attention during waking life. They can bring fears, memories, desires, conflicts, and unresolved feelings to the surface. They can also inspire creativity and encourage us to look at ourselves and our lives from a different perspective.

You don't have to believe that every dream contains an important message. Sometimes a dream may simply reflect what happened during your day or something that has been occupying your thoughts. However, when you begin recording your dreams over time, you may discover patterns that are worth exploring.

Learning to work with your dreams involves three basic steps: remembering your dreams, recording what you remember, and exploring what the dream means to you.

Understanding Dreams Begins With Remembering Them

Before you can explore your dreams, you have to remember them.

For some people, this is surprisingly difficult. You may wake up knowing that you dreamed but be unable to remember anything that happened. You might remember one image or feeling and then lose it before you even get out of bed.

Dream recall is something you can practice.

Start by keeping a notebook and pen beside your bed. You can purchase a special dream journal if you enjoy having one, but you don't need anything fancy. An ordinary notebook works just as well.

When you wake up, try not to immediately jump out of bed. Give yourself a moment to remain still and think about what was happening just before you woke.

Ask yourself:

Where was I? Who was with me? What was happening? How did I feel?

Sometimes asking these simple questions is enough to bring pieces of the dream back.

Write down whatever you remember immediately. Don't wait until later in the morning because dreams can fade remarkably quickly.

And don't decide that something isn't important enough to record.

If all you remember is standing beside a blue door, write down blue door. If you remember hearing someone's voice but can't remember what was said, record that. If you woke feeling frightened even though you don't remember the dream, write down the feeling.

A fragment is better than nothing.

As you make dream journaling a habit, you may find yourself remembering more and more.

Write Down the Details, Not Just the Story

When recording a dream, it is tempting to write only the main storyline.

Try going further.

The small details can sometimes be the most interesting parts to explore later.

Record the people who appeared, even if their presence didn't seem important. Write down locations, objects, animals, colors, numbers, weather, clothing, sounds and anything unusual that caught your attention.

If you remember a particular time of day, include it. Was it morning, afternoon or the middle of the night? If you saw an exact time on a clock, write that down too.

Most importantly, record how you felt.

Were you frightened?

Happy?

Confused?

Angry?

Peaceful?

Embarrassed?

Excited?

Did your emotions make sense considering what was happening in the dream?

For example, perhaps you dreamed that you were standing in the middle of a terrible storm, yet instead of being frightened, you felt completely peaceful. That emotional detail could change how you personally understand the dream.

Don't worry about making your dream journal sound polished. You're not writing something for publication. You're creating a record for yourself.

Look for Patterns in Your Dreams

One of the greatest advantages of keeping a dream journal is that you eventually have something you can look back through.

A single dream can be difficult to understand. Twenty or thirty recorded dreams may reveal patterns.

Perhaps you repeatedly dream about being lost.

Maybe houses appear frequently in your dreams.

Perhaps you dream about the same person whenever you're going through a particular type of situation.

You might repeatedly dream about water, animals, babies, cars, staircases, schools, deceased loved ones or places from your childhood.

Recurring dreams deserve particular attention because something about the subject continues to return to your awareness.

Instead of immediately asking, What does this symbol mean?, you might begin with a different question:

Why does this keep appearing in my dreams?

Then consider what was happening in your waking life each time the dream occurred.

You may eventually recognize connections that weren't obvious when you experienced each dream separately.

Interpreting Dreams for Self-Awareness and Understanding

Dream interpretation is where things become more complicated.

There are countless books, websites and dream dictionaries offering definitions of dream symbols. These resources can give you ideas to consider, but they shouldn't automatically have the final word on what your dream means.

That's because symbols can be deeply personal.

Imagine that two people dream about a dog.

One person grew up with a beloved dog who represented companionship, safety and unconditional love. Another person was bitten by a dog as a child and has been afraid of dogs ever since.

The same symbol could evoke completely different emotions and associations for those two people.

That's why one of the most useful questions you can ask when interpreting a dream is:

What does this mean to me?

Think about your personal history with the person, place or object that appeared.

What memories do you associate with it?

How does it make you feel?

What was happening in your life when you had the dream?

These questions can sometimes tell you far more than simply looking up a symbol in a dream dictionary.

Start With the Emotions in the Dream

When you don't know how to interpret a dream, start with your feelings.

Suppose you dreamed that you were trying desperately to catch a train. You ran toward it, but every time you got close, the train moved farther away.

You could look up train in a dream dictionary and find numerous possible interpretations.

But first, ask yourself what you experienced emotionally.

Did you feel anxious because you couldn't catch it?

Were you afraid of being left behind?

Did you feel frustrated because you were trying as hard as you could and still couldn't reach your destination?

Then ask whether anything in your waking life is producing a similar feeling.

Maybe the dream isn't really about a train at all.

Perhaps you're worried that you're running out of time to accomplish something. Maybe you feel other people are moving forward while you're standing still. Perhaps you're pursuing something that always seems just beyond your reach.

This doesn't mean that one of those interpretations must be correct. It means the dream has given you an opportunity to ask yourself questions you might not otherwise have considered.

That is where dream work becomes a tool for self-awareness.

Different Dreams May Serve Different Purposes

Not every dream feels the same.

Some dreams appear closely connected to ordinary life. If you've spent the entire day worrying about an upcoming appointment and then dream about being late for it, the connection isn't difficult to see.

Other dreams seem to work through emotions or experiences in a much more symbolic way.

Some dreams are extraordinarily vivid and remain with us for years.

There are also dreams that people interpret through spiritual or intuitive beliefs. Some people believe certain dreams provide spiritual guidance, contain messages from deceased loved ones, or occasionally seem connected to events that happen later.

Those experiences can feel profound to the person who has them. At the same time, it is useful to remain open to more than one possible explanation rather than assuming every unusual dream is predictive or supernatural.

Dreams can also contain frightening themes involving illness, death or danger. A disturbing dream by itself should not be treated as a medical diagnosis or a prediction that something bad is going to happen. If something in a dream brings a genuine health concern to your attention, the appropriate next step is to address the concern in waking life rather than relying on the dream to determine what is happening.

Questions to Ask When Interpreting Your Dreams

You don't need to solve a dream the moment you wake up.

After you've written it down, return to it when you have time to think.

Consider what was happening in your life before you had the dream. Then ask yourself questions such as: What was the strongest emotion in the dream? What part of the dream stands out most? Do I recognize this feeling from my waking life? What do the people in the dream represent to me personally? Have I dreamed about this subject before? Is there something I've been avoiding or worrying about? Did anything in the dream surprise me?

You can even write your answers underneath the original dream entry.

Sometimes the meaning will seem obvious. Sometimes you may develop several possible interpretations. And sometimes you won't understand a dream at all.

That's okay.

Leave it alone and come back to it later.

I've found that dreams can make more sense when viewed from a distance. Something that seems completely mysterious today may look very different several weeks or months from now.

Don't Become Too Focused on Finding the "Correct" Meaning

One of the easiest mistakes to make with dream interpretation is believing that every dream has one hidden answer that you have to uncover.

Dream exploration doesn't have to work that way.

A dream can lead you to think about several aspects of your life. A particular symbol may remind you of multiple experiences. Your interpretation may even change as your life changes.

The goal isn't necessarily to prove exactly what your subconscious was trying to tell you.

The value may be in the questions the dream encourages you to ask.

Why did that bother me so much?

Why do I keep dreaming about that person?

Why did I feel relieved when that happened in the dream?

What am I afraid of losing?

What do I wish were different?

Those questions can lead to genuine self-reflection whether or not you ever arrive at a definitive interpretation.

Your Dreams Are Personal to You

Books and other resources about dream interpretation can be helpful. They can introduce you to symbolism you may never have considered and provide different perspectives on common dream themes.

But nobody knows your experiences, memories and emotional associations better than you do.

That's why I believe you are ultimately the most important person involved in interpreting your dreams.

Someone else can offer possibilities. A book can suggest symbolism. A dream dictionary can give you a starting point.

But you are the person who knows what was happening in your life when you had the dream.

You know what that childhood house means to you.

You know how you felt about the person who appeared.

You know why a particular song, smell, animal, place or object carries an emotional significance that someone else couldn't possibly know.

Over time, your dream journal can become much more than a collection of strange nighttime stories. It can become a record of your inner life.

You may begin noticing how your dreams change during stressful periods, how certain themes return when you're facing similar situations, or how your emotional responses change as you grow.

And perhaps that is one of the most valuable things dreams can offer us.

We spend so much of our waking lives focused on everything happening around us. Paying attention to our dreams gives us an opportunity to turn our attention inward—to become curious about our feelings, recognize patterns and understand ourselves a little better.

You don't have to understand every dream you have. Start by remembering them. Write them down. Pay attention to the details and emotions. Ask yourself what they mean to you.

Then allow your dreams—and your own self-reflection—to take you from there.