Trichotillomania

Let me tell you a little story about how I developed Trichotillomania. When I was a young girl in elementary school I was bullied and picked on for most of 4th grade through 6th grade. As a young kid I didn’t really know how to handle all that pressure and stress so one day I started pulling my eyebrows out. Of course that made the bullies pick on me even more, so my mom decided to take me out and home school me for middle school. I’m so glad she did! I really hated my life at that point because of those bullies. I hated myself too, no kid should hate themselves but I really did. Eventually though as I got older I began to fully love myself and all of myself, still though I struggle... even now I struggle with Trichotillomania. So you’re probably wondering... what is Trichotillomania? Well it is disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out body hair. The urges involve pulling out hair from the scalp, eyebrows, or other areas of the body. In my case I pull my eyebrows out, sometimes my eyelashes and sometimes my leg hair. I know that it may sound really weird but that’s just something I do to deal with stress.

Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it especially when I’m bored, it just happens. Of course I want to have thick natural eyebrows and long natural beautiful eyelashes but it’s a struggle to keep them. You might say “can you just stop pulling your hair out?” My answer is no it’s not that easy. You can’t say that to someone that’s been doing this to deal with stress, just like people who drink alcohol to deal with stress or people that do drugs to deal with stress. It’s not an easy thing to just stop. It’s a long process to take, a long journey to walk through, it’s not that simple. There have been people to over come Trich, but i promise you it was a battle.

There are other ways that I have delt with stress. Journaling is one and writing down I am affirmations. Going outside for a walk, and sitting on the porch drinking my favorite tea and eating beignets, ah so satisfying. Everyday I try something new to not pull my hair out, does it work? Not all the time but at least I’m trying. A month or so ago I made a video about Trichotillomania on my YouTube channel and I took my makeup off on camera, I was afraid to post it but I’m glad I did. Someone had commented that she thought she was the only one with this disorder but now she doesn’t feel so alone. That made my heart rejoice. To know that I made someone feel less alone in the world is such an awesome feeling. I was there once before just like that person but to know that more people actually have this disorder makes me feel less alone and a little less like a freak.

It’s important to spread awareness about any disorder or chronic illness. Spreading awareness can save a life or help someone. I didn’t even know what I had... had a name. I found out from a youtuber, she pulled her out too but it was from your head. She mention it was a battle everyday not to pull out her hair. Knowing that other people are in battles and trying to overcome this disorder makes me want to try to do the same. Let’s spread awareness and be kind to one another, show love always in this world. The more people that know about it the more ways people can try to help. Speak up even if your voice shakes, you’ll be glad you did.