This one here is tough..

So probably like many of you my pain was something i tried very hard not to deal with. The thing is I was not only abused but my body decided to rage against me as well. Team no mercy! I have fibromyalgia and there's nothing I can really contribute that to. It just kinda chose me, makes you feel special dont it? To add to it I also have endometriosis and that on the other hand (although unknown to me for some time) i can actually boil the cause for this down to my abuse. You see what had happened was my mother had women issues bad ones problems getting pregnant, still borns, miscarriages the whole shebang. So i was almost destined if you will, to have some issues of the kind BUT here's the kicker. When i turned 14 apparently something i did said looked like who knows attracted my abuser to me. That's when it began, now fast forward a few years. I finally got the courage to go and get my first pap smear because I didn't have anyone to tell me I ever needed one and i didnt have anyone who cared enough to go with me so I wasn't alone. Needless to say it was an awful experience The dr. was old and wasn't up to date with modern procedures or something. None the less terrible. This is when i realized something was really wrong i had always had terrible periods extremely painful but the level of pain to be examined was off the charts. So now to spare you with details i had already had my virginity taken and the abuse was already happening by now so i knew of pain already. Now i reached out to a gyno to see what was wrong why it hurt so badly. I went to this dr. expecting answers and as any woman with endo can't attest this dr gave me no such things he was very unhelpful shoved birth control down my throat even went as far as telling me the pain i experienced during an exam was all in my head. Eventually though i got him to give me an exploratory surgery to try to see what he could find. Unfortunately for me this surgery turned up almost nothing or so i thought at the time he came back and told me i didn't see any endo but it could be something called PID (pelvic inflammatory disease). Never offered me any advice or any type of resolution just kind of a kick out the door. So now i had no answers and a ton of pain and even a few complications after the surgery. NOW for those of you that haven't already googled this already the right thing to do for PID would have been to start me on antibiotics and such. That did not happen in fact nothing did not until YEARS later after i got away and was married when i had surgery number two. This time new dr. SAME OFFICE mind you, but new dr. still . He informed me that not only should i have been put on antibiotics but PID is also a STD and if left untreated may cause ding ding you guess it endometriosis and cherry on the top the other dr never even bothered to document it in my records. Second surgery low and behold the endo was found and i've been dealing with that ever since. Now for me I was obviously upset about the terrible medical care but that is not really what got me. What really threw me for the loop was knowing that my abuser gave me an STD which then turned into an awful disease that I would have for the rest of my life. So even though i have managed to escape i will always not only have the emotional issues from that but i will always have a permanent physical reminder that will mess with my quality of life until i die. Lifes a bitch.