They called me Delusional

You enjoy the sensual pleasures for a period of twenty years when the senses are strong. What is this short evanescent period of twenty years in eternity? What is this despicable, jarring, monotonous sensual life, compared with the eternal and peaceful life in the immortal Self within? If the nerve of taste, the glosso-pharyngeal gets paralysed, you cannot enjoy different kinds of palatable dishes. If your retina or optic nerve is paralysed, you cannot enjoy diverse beautiful forms. If the auditory nerve is paralysed, you cannot hear melodious music. If the olfactory nerve is paralysed, you cannot enjoy various kinds of sweet fragrance. If your sensory nerve of the hands is paralysed, you cannot enjoy soft things. If the nerve origin is paralysed, you cannot enjoy conjugal bliss. Do you not now clearly see that this world is a mere play of nerves? Do you not understand that this universe of opposites is illusory?

Sometimes people call me delusional, maybe because of my wrong beliefs or maybe because I am unable to accept the facts, the reality. I guess this is natural and sometimes we all become delusional in some very specific phases of life. For example, when my mom died I was never ready to accept that, I couldn't accept that she will not come back, I was having hallucinations and there was an illusional screen in front of me which used to tell me, your mom is here, she went out and will come back later. Obviously, the reality was different but psychologically I was not ready to accept that.

An illusion is created through having a temporary fault with the sense organs resulting in faulty sense-data, or by utilising a pattern from the sense-data that is significantly less than optimum. Such an illusion would not allow for effective interaction with the world, and hence not enable one's needs to be met.

The same thing happens with a broken heart I think, we can't control and become delusional knowing the truth. We know the reality and facts but are unable to accept and create an illusion in front of us. Kind of an imaginary world that gives us both pain, and joy together. We can't differentiate the facts between reality and the imaginary world, or on the other hand, we become delusional.

Psychological issues or mental illness can happen with anyone, no matter how much strong an individual is. You don't know the future and don't know what is waiting for you. That's why I always say a strong personality can feel broken sometimes because they consume and absorb all the pain inside them and somehow they are unable to find a media to release their pain. Just like an ocean is holding all the mystery but sometimes it becomes ferocious and destructive. It's natural because everything has a limit.

I know how hallucination works, everything feels real but in reality that the world doesn't even exist. Just like when you consume a bottle of vodka and find yourself in the world of imagination. You cry you laugh, you feel sad or maybe excited, but it's you. Pain has no boundaries, the more you absorb, the more you will get it. The more you invite, the more you will feel the pain.

I don't have any words to explain how it feels when the heart is broken, maybe empty maybe dark. But the reality is time heals everything, the pain reduces because of time. You will come out from the imaginary world into reality, slowly but you will. Human psychology is really hard to understand, you will never know what's going on in other people's mind, never and ever. You can't read anyone's mind, in fact still, now I am unable to recognize my mind too…

Now, my question is, is this world real? Are we real? Is there any guarantee that I am not dreaming? Maybe I will wake up a thousand years later into the real world and will realize that I was in a dream…

Complicated, isn't it…