Therapy : I's and i's

Something they fail to tell you once you first entire therapy is that recovery isn't linear. Its ups, downs, circles, reverses, and overlaps. When i first entered therapy, a picture was drawn for me on a straight line; start here, finish there. but after 7 years of hard sessions and fighting myself, I realized that this wasn't going away. It was apart of me permanently. Now, that doesn't necessarily imply a bad time per se. But i will always be different. Ill notice that that our boss wore that tie three times this week, (No Robert, three times. Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday.) I will always be hyper conscious of completely irrelevant things, (do my scars rub against his skin while we make love? Does it make him itch? ) And I'll probably always need extra reassurance. (I know I said sorry when i dropped the plate, but i didn't know if you knew I meant it.. so I kept going until you were sure. - ...are you sure you forgive me?)

Something they fail to tell you once you first entire therapy is that recovery isn't linear. I spent countless nights hating myself for the smallest slice, beating into my mind the flaws and failure. Too many drawbacks from society and mentions of how I should be. Had she only placed her hand over mine and told me it was normal sooner?

Something they fail to tell you once you first entire therapy is that recovery isn't linear. Another thing is the absence of talk about how I should feel after my session. Isn't there a weight to be lifted off my shoulders? Shouldn't i have some construed reminiscence of happiness and I leave the chair. Should I yearn for my departure rather than wanting to stay?

Something they fail to tell you once you first entire therapy is that recovery isn't linear. They may have also failed to mention the hard but subtle difference between whether you have fallen in love with your therapist, or if you just really trust them. Are friends, or are you doing what is paid for? Do I invite you to my sisters wedding next week, or just tell you the aftermath?

Something they fail to tell you once you first entire therapy is that recovery isn't linear. But let me tell you this: If they had, I wouldn't have come as far as I am today, and for that I'm grateful.