The Truth of D.I.D.

For the start; I want to introduce myself.

I am a victim of Depression and Anxiety Disorder. I am also a victim of Dissociated Identity Disorder.

If you're new to the game, It's okay to feel like the world around you is crumbling under you. Everyone has been there, everyone has at least experienced this existential dread. So, to help out, here are some definitions. (I have gathered these from mayo clinic, and several other medical articles)

Anxiety Disorder- A mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities. Examples of anxiety disorders include panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms include stress that's out of proportion to the impact of the event, inability to set aside a worry, and restlessness.

Depressive Disorder- A mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life. The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem.

Dissociative Identity Disorder- A disorder characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states. Dissociative identity disorder, previously called multiple personality disorder, is usually a reaction to trauma as a way to help a person avoid bad memories. Dissociative identity disorder is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality identities. Each may have a unique name, personal history, and characteristics.

Now that the definitions have been spelled out, let me explain why the titled is labeled, The Truth of D.I.D. There are myths that people normally don't understand when the definition is "two or more distinct personalities." If you have seen the movie Split, please stop what you're thinking. That movie is not a good representation of this disorder. D.I.D. is more of having a bunch of friends around you all the time. Then again, everyone's experiences are completely different than mine. Nobody will have the same mental experience as someone else. I would like to share my experience, in hopes to help others who are struggling with opening up about something that is so strongly looked down upon.

Personalities or Alters

When I mention something like Alters, it basically means an alternative of myself. I have 35 alters. I've heard of people who have over one hundred. The spectrum of who they can become is endless. Either it be a video game, or a book series, or just simply your imagination. They can come from deep within. I personally have one after my father, James K. My dad's full name is James Arthur Camp. None of my alters know what the "K" stands for, but he is a guardian angel.

I had gotten my D.I.D. in middle school. I had developed it through horrid family things that won't be mentioned and my father passing away in 2016. My alters came to assist me in my copings with Depressive and Anxiety disorders and possible PTSD.

Never self diagnose. It's not healthy for one, and two the only reason why some people do, is because doctors and therapists can't find a physical excuse to diagnose if you live in poor-ish neighborhoods. I was that one kid undiagnosed, because my therapist didn't want that to happen to me. She had expected it to just go away. Which it never did.

I have gotten my alters from various games: Five Nights at Freddy's, Undertale, etc. And then some from books: Harry Potter, The Warrior Cats' series, etc. They come together from all sorts of places to help cope. I cling to the games, books, and shows I love to distract myself from memories that have lingered. Here's a small list of things that people claim is a truth about us, besides what's really true.

"Are you one of those psychotics?"

No, we are not psychotic. We are not those people who hear voices and goes "crazy" like in movies and shows. We don't go attack people because the "voices told us to" because that's not really how it works.

"Do alters have horrible intentions? Can they cause you harm?"

For the alters who have horrible intentions- not usually. For me, the only one who has caused me harm is someone based off of a serial killer. Mine are all docile until provoked.

"Can they hide your things?"

Yes! They can front and do things on your phones, play video games, hide your favorite hoodie, etc. They can even buy things, without you knowing. (Happened to me today ;-;)

"How do you know it's a real thing?"

Let me give you a small list of symptoms people may have:

General memory problems.

De-personalization.

De-realization.

Posttraumatic flashbacks.

Somatoform symptoms.

Trance.

Child voices

Two or more voices or parts that converse, argue, or struggle.

I fall into trances a lot when my alters switch out. I usually wake up dizzy, maybe light headed, and sometimes just sensing them in general.

"How Do You Go About Your Day With DID?"

It's pretty easily actually. Sometimes they converse while you're in the middle of a reading session, or when you're trying to focus on something really important happening. It takes a long time to be able to drown it out. For me it took a long, long time.

These experiences have all costed a small thing in my life. Mostly just the life I used to have. But, I honestly couldn't complain. They make my life easier for me. They help distract me from the pain I had endured growing up. Most of my pain started when I was seven. My mother didn't take kindly to my father wanting to be in my life. Alcohol and cigarettes was my whole childhood.

I didn't develope DID until I was 14, mainly because of internal mental strain that endured while I was living with an abusive family.

But hopefully, this sums up about the truths to DID.

Please don't be afraid of someone who has DID. They're suffering from a life that has caused them anguish and pain, being afraid of someone who has this disorder just makes it worse. Sometimes the alters are fun people to be around ;)