The Mother of 1000 Orphans

(Original Extended Version- the other was reduced in word count for the challenge)

When asked to write about a woman who has truly inspired me, I immediately think of Sindhutai Sapkal, affectionately known as Mai (lit. translation ‘mother’).

The story of this woman’s life has profoundly altered mine for the better. The example she set this world through her compassion and resilience shifted my psychology in ways that I am certain many years of therapy could not have achieved.

Mai was an unwanted child born to extreme poverty and depravation in central India. To share with you that she was referred to as Chindhi (Marathi for "piece of rag") by her parents ought to serve your imagination with an understanding of just how abusive, neglectful and awful her childhood was.

She received little to no formal education and was subsequently sold to a man 20 or so years older as his bride when she was barely past the age of eight. Manual labour, sexual abuse and suffering miscarriages are the markers of her adolescent life.

At the age of around 20 and pregnant again, a situation arose where Mai was moved to speak publicly against the corruption and injustice in her village. Local women were suffering immensely and she could not remain silent. This gained her the undesired attention of the local ‘mafia’ boss.

This boss is said to have threatened her husband in retaliation for being challenged and embarrassed by Mai. He told the husband that the baby Mai was pregnant with was another man’s child and that she was having sex with other men in the village. He told the husband that if he did not kill his dishonourable pregnant wife by his own volition - he would return and kill both of them.

The husband chose to beat his wife to the point he believed her dead. He then dragged her lifeless body outside to the cow shed and left her there, bleeding and broken, expecting that he could report that she was trampled by the cows once she was found.

Mai did not die. She awoke to a cow standing guard over her and in excruciating pain from her wounds. The shock and trauma of the beating had put her body into premature labour and in her semi-conscious state she gave birth to her baby daughter. Alone. Cutting the umbilical cord with a sharp stone lying nearby.

By some miracle both she and the baby survived.

Knowing that she was still in great danger, Mai gathered all her strength and fled the village. She tried to return to her parent’s house but her mother refused to allow her inside.

Homeless and entirely destitute, she found herself begging on the streets with her newborn baby. She survived like this for some time, sheltering by the funeral pyres where dead bodies burned through the night to keep warm.

She would collect small grains from the dirt and flour from offering plates, mix with filthy river water and cook these small ‘rotis’ on the fires of the burning bodies to survive.

At some point, the spirit of this woman broke entirely. She was barely existing, severely malnourished and had lost all hope for her life and the life of her baby. This was the day she took herself and her child to the railway tracks and lay down, awaiting certain and welcomed death.

It was as she lay there waiting that she heard an anguished voice cry out for help. The voice became so incessant and loud, conveying such suffering that Mai was moved to get up and find it’s source. She discovered an elderly man crying out that he hadn’t eaten in many weeks and desperately needed both food and water. He pleaded with her to help him, and she did. Mai went begging and she earned food for the man.

This is the moment that everything changed for her.

She realised that even in her darkest hour, even when she had absolutely nothing and no one supporting her - she could still help another human being.

So she began taking the local orphaned children under her wing. She begged for them. She helped them to survive the streets. She offered them her love and compassion. Their numbers grew. She dedicated her life to their survival.

After some time, people in the local community began to notice her and what she was doing. In time and in turn they worked to have a building donated to her - for her and the children to live in.

Numbers grew.

Mai worked every day of her life raising orphaned children. The help she received from the local community allowed her the platform to go on establish numerous NGOs (Non Government Organisations) and over the course of her life save over 1500* children from the harsh streets. She provided an environment where they received nurture and education. Many of her children grew up to become doctors, engineers, and lawyers.

(In 2012, it was reported that she had nurtured about 1442 orphaned children and had a grand family of 207 sons-in-law and 36 daughters-in-law. So the numbers by the time of her death ten years later will be significantly higher.)

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There is so much which serves to inspire about this story. For me, one of the key points is that she was saved by her compassion for others. She had no clear path, no support system, no hope. But she still chose to love. She still chose to ease the suffering of others in any way she could.

And that saved her life.

Her compassion and love is what took her from homeless and destitute to a woman revered as the Mother of 1000 orphans. A woman who has created what is probably the largest family on earth and who has been awarded more than 270 national and international awards in recognition of her services to humanity through social work - notably including the Mother Theresa Award and the Nari Shakti Award which was presented to her by President of India in 2017.

She used the award money to buy land for the children.

She was born to the most appalling and tragic of circumstances. The trauma this soul suffered is unspeakable and beyond comparison. She has every reason possible to grow bitterness and hate within her heart. To give up. Yet she didn’t. She loved. She chose to love more.

Her story does not end here, however.

After many decades had passed and her becoming so widely celebrated - there came a day when there was a knock upon the door of her orphanage. A very frail and elderly man stood in the doorway, starving and seeking shelter.

Mai found herself looking straight into the eyes of her husband who had left her for dead many decades before.

I invite you to take a moment to pause here. Please stop to consider how you would respond? How would you want to respond? How would you feel? Looking into the eyes of a man who bought you at eight years old. Who you had been forced to serve for 12 years before he beat you and left you and your baby for dead. Who caused you such immense suffering and harm.

Would you be able to offer him grace? Would you be able to welcome him inside and offer to feed and shelter him?

Mai did.

She told that she refused him as her husband but said “You are not here as my husband, but as my son. I will treat you as my child”. He lived under her care until his death which followed shortly after.

Mai is epitome of what being inspirational means.

Her grace and compassion draw tears from my heart every single time I tell this story. She is a powerful reason that I have been able to remain strong through trials in my own life. Her resilience and spirit are exemplary and have raised the bar for me.

There have been many situations where I believed I could not continue suffering or enduring. Moments when despair took over and hope was lost. And in those moments her name came to my mind. Her story. What she had suffered through. What she survived. And it gifted me all of the strength I needed to make it through another day.

It deeply saddens me to learn of her death in 2022. Mai died following a heart attack. A heart that so clearly had been shattered too many times to live beyond the age of just 73.

Yet in her 73 years, with practically no education, no family to support her, no guide or protector in life, she lived hers in a way that bettered the lives of thousands. She radically altered the trajectory of the lives of thousands of children. Loving them. Educating them. Lifting them. Being the reason why their children and future generations will be born in better circumstances and with opportunities she never had.

And how many countless millions has her story inspired and will continue to inspire through her example? She lived a life that gained her a legacy most of us could only dream of. And it is not based upon about what she built, or what she wrote, or what problems she solved in the world. It is entirely about her ability to love. Her capacity to love in spite of the immense suffering and harm done unto her by cruel and evil people. People who should have protected her. People who should have helped her. People that are entirely inhuman.

It is an honour and privilege to share the story of this inspirational woman with you, especially if you are reading of her for the first time.

Now, can someone please pass the tissues?

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Final Note

There are of course many discrepancies between sources in regard to the details of her life. I have worked to be as accurate as possible in relying this story as close to the truth as is possible, using translations of her own account and the accounts of those who met her in person.

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Written for The Dragon Beside Me Challenge - linked below. Which - now that I’ve reached this point I realise has to be between 600-800 words 🙈. This is currently 1700. I really want to share the story in full so I am going to post this and then post an edit which meets the word count 🙏✨)

Thank you for reading.

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