The awakening

It’s crazy how the mind is able to unlock parts you never knew were there, you feel almost separate from it like a mechanic learning their way around a car. Finding new parts and mastering the skill of maintaining it. Because you, the soul inside is conscious that you have the ability to break out of that negative bubble, that you’re stronger than the evil little man in your head. You’ve built up so much strength from waves of not wanting to be alive, numerous nights wondering what the hell your purpose is in life. Nothing ever felt worth it so you begun to stop seeing colours which left your mind in a dull, senseless world. But then you realise that everything comes from you, you decide and create opportunities for yourself. You’ve spent so many years trying to kick down the door only to find you had the key all along. The awakening begins at this very moment. Everything that brought you down is now in the palm of your hands. And this moment right here is compelling, it’s like a higher force has finally noticed you and handed over the power to feel alive. The power to be happy again.

And that feeling is almost orgasmic, it’s a new feeling you’ve never had before. A breath of fresh air after having a cold. You open that door and a gazing light breaks through like the morning sun. You don’t have to feel the way you did ever again. The handcuffs you had on were a loose piece of string but the evil little man in your head told you they were made of steel. You smirk to yourself as if it were a joke, as if your entire existence was a lie. Our minds are powerful tools, yet so gullible at the same time. We’re all prisoners until we decide we’re not. What do we define as trapped? When you’re forcefully locked in a room? Or when you let your mind believe the doubts and the “what ifs”?. It’s impossible to tell you when this awakening will come, some of us wait years to find it but when it eventually does you’ll see life in a complete different light.

It’s usually after “The Dark Night of the soul” which is a period of melancholy, despair and feeling isolated by everything around you. This is what prepares you, in order to evolve into the being you’ve always dreamed to be you must shed your skin. There’s nothing pretty about it but it’s something that we need to endure, to better ourselves. It’s finally time to break out of that cocoon and take off into the air with those magnificent wings. That’s when the hunger kicks in, as you dive deeper into the awakening you crave answers about the inner you. “Who am I”? “There’s a reason why I’m here and I need to find it”. You dig deep through your mind, you feel the urge to make the world a better place; maybe because it never felt like a good place to you. Maybe because you never want anyone to feel the way you did so you try hard to mould everything the way it should be. You begin to see other people’s pain and that saddens you, more than it would the normal person because you absorb the energy all around you. Of course because you’ve been that unnoticed person in the room before, you know what it’s like. You begin to love deep and hard, this wave of emotions come rushing in all at the same time and it’s almost uncontrollable. But you want to love so why stop?