Survivors of Abuse

To even ask a domestic violence survivor to settle for a Peace Bond is like asking them to live in mental pain for the rest of her life. To ask a sexual assault survivor to settle for a Peace Bond is like telling them that what happened was okay, and also gives the abuser the chance to do it to somebody else without any repercussions A Peace Bond is basically stating the abuser is to stay away from the survivor with no record of the victims statement and or the court evidence ever coming back even if the abuser strikes another victim later in his life. To ask somebody who has worked on their mental health and trauma caused by their abuser while breaking the cycle of violence to settle for a Peace Bond it's like telling them that everything that they've done was for nothing, that their abusers actions don’t have any effect on there over all human rights and well-being. By offering a violence survivor, you are telling them you don't believe them to be strong enough to go against their abuser.

Survivors of abuse need Justice. Survivors of abuse need to know that they have been heard. Survivors of abuse need to know that the Justice System has heard and believed them enough to fight by their sides against their abuser. Survivors of abuse need to see that you are holding their abuser accountable for their actions, and not giving them pardons on their life altering choices to abuse another human. Survivors of abuse need to know that they matter. survivors of abuse need to go through the process in order to gain their healing. Survivors of abuse may look at Peace Bond as a way out but also what are the long term effects of that choice that the Survivor made, guilt, regret, shame, anger and sadness. Survivors of abuse shouldn't be asked if they are willing to settle for a Peace Bond. They were already strong enough to tell their truth about their abusers, brave enough to be questioned and doubted by investigation, and are strong enough to tell that truth more than just in front of a Judge. More abusers need to be brought to Justice.

Survivors of partner sexual assault need to know that it wasn’t okay for another human to rape them, they are not property when it comes to love and lust. Survivors of partner sexual assault need to know that their bodies are to be respected and consented to, whether not in the mood, or in general. Survivors of partner sexual assualt need to know and understand that they are not a sex doll to be played with, that they are human beings, in control of whom and what touches them. Survivors of sexual assault need to know you are listening and going to do everything you can to make sure that this doesn’t happen to another human being, that the abuser doesn’t rape again. Survivors of sexual assault need to be heard and not ashamed that they were violated without their consent. Survivors of sexual assault need to KNOW that the word NO exists and can be utilized at any time a human is feeling uncomfortable in any intimate situation.

Offering a Peace Bond to a child-hood domestic abuse survivor is like telling them to live that lifestyle they were raised in, to give into fear and allow themselves to be abused. Offering a Peace Bond is telling the survivor you have bigger issues than theirs to fight in a court setting, that you are going to allow their abuser the freedom to make choices that could lead them into hurting another human being. Offering a Peace Bond is telling the abuser that you believe that they are innocent, and that what they put the survivor through is nothing but a burnable book of documented abuse, that they never have to deal with again, but the survivor will always carry those memories. To the survivor that book you are burning is their life chapter with a violent abuser, one to which they will spend the rest of their lives trying to avoid thinking about. Trying not to meet again, trying to cope with the mental and physical disabilities that their abuser placed on them.

We all know that the Justice System can work in the favour of the accused. No matter how much we try, the victim/survivor is the one that carries the weight of all decisions made by this system. The victim has no rights to see the accused statement, the accused has the right to see every email, documented phone call, and medical record in their book of disclosure. The accused gets to pick and choose their court dates, prolong them, not show up for them and who they have as a lawyer and the way their court proceedings go. The victim has none of these rights, they come forward with their abuse and then wait like a sitting duck to be re-traumatized, as many times as the accuser wants to appeal the case. The abuser gets to re-traumatize and lie about who the victim is. The victim has to eventually face their abuser, even though they never want to see them again. The Justice System has to make a choice on the outcome for both parties involved. Yes they believe the victim, or they believe the abuser.

In court, the abuser gets to sit and listen to what they know they have already done to their victim. The victim has to be shown photos of bruising and visible abuse that is no longer visible to the human eye but lives inside their brains emotionally. The victim gets to tell the court including their abuser what violent things happened to them, they have to then if the abuser chooses to sit in front of a panel of strangers telling them their abuse, allowing even more humans to see what happened to them. The victim is stripped down more than human rights should ever be taken from them in front of that many strangers. The victim is left with scars, while the abuser is left with a sense of accomplishment. Most abusers are narcissistic phyco-pathic personality humans that also enjoy the act of watching their victims continue to suffer even if the police managed to keep the victim safe and away from their abusers manipulations. Some abusers love the attention of their calm demeanor versus the distraught victim.

Survivors of abuse have a long road of healing in front of them, as do their abusers if they ever see their actions as being negative. If we give the abuser a Peace Bond that is like telling them we forgive them, we are too weak to fight for ourselves, and when they said we were nothing, that they were right. I believe that most victims have heard “no one will believe you”, by asking a survivor to settle for a Peace Bond is making that statement valid and something they could potentially believe for the rest of their lives. Victims need to heal, and a part of that is gaining the closure of Justice, or at least allowing them to try. Offering a Peace Bond, is telling them to give up, move on and heal. It isn’t that simple.

Survivors of abuse need to be brave, and when that happens, and the Justice System finally understands that if we don’t stand by their brave sides, we will only end up with more survivors and more case loads of victims of violence. You're feeding the ego of the abuser by giving them more freedom. Do you believe that an abuser worries about what they may have physically or mentally done to their victims? Do you believe that victims feel sorry for the abuser even though they are the ones who lived these traumatizing events? Do you believe that abuse is okay in any shape or form? 85% of the human population has been abused at some point in their lives by domestic violence, sexual violence, physical violence, or child hood violence? That number is scary. The number of those victims are also just the tip of an iceberg of victims that do not come forward with the abuse. Did you know that not all government funded therapy for PTSD which is needed in order for the victims not to fall victim over and over again? Did you know that two years ago they took away the funding for victims to get the extra funding they may need later on in life when they become physically or mentally disabled by their abusers actions? Most victims can’t give you a dollar amount for the pain and suffering that their abusers caused them, there isn’t one. The survivor knows that money isn’t going to make it go away, but it can help them to give themselves a chance to understand, and learn how not to become a victim, or need to use the word survived.

Survivors of abuse need to survive the process, they need Justice, not a piece of paper that excuses someone from the abuse they put the survivor through.