Surving Narcissistic Abuse

DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY CONTAINS TALK ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE, IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE TOPICS PLEASE CLICK OUT OF THIS STORY, IF YOU WANT TO READ MORE, YOU MAY CONTINUE.

When it all began; I was 15 years old and junior in high school. I joined band class because my friends wanted me to join color guard, they were adamant and told me that it would be fun, so I took up the offer. I was in banned with my (ex) best friend and another friend of mine, we no longer speak. I was interested in color guard but I was just getting the hand of twirling the flag and tossing it up in the air. I learned some new tricks and started to enjoy color guard.

I had my 2 friends and then thy had their friends, in total there was 5 girls including me. I was getting to know my friends and they had told me about a few rumors about this guy in band who played the drums. I wasnt sure if I should believe them or not. We continue with color guard practice and got good and ended up making a routine with the cheer coach.

The day after I recieve a facebook message from my now ex, he texted me and told me "he so & so likes you, do you like him back?"

I said " well me and so and so are just friends and i dont want to ruin that" I turned him down and felt bad. But my now ex said " okay. "

A week goes by, he messages me again and said "hey". I replied and said "hi there" and we start to have a conversation and he asks me out. I told him "honestly I'm not really looking for a relationship" Then another week goes by and he starts walking me home from school everyday at the time my parents both worked at the time that I got out of school so I would walk home in the Phoenix heat he would drop me off at my door and he almost said I love you but he caught himself and said I like you I'll see you later I said OK and he then would just walk me home every day and till the 2nd week rolled by his parents were able to drive us home and he would give me Ride's home while his dad stopped at the gas station to pump gas in his car we were in the car mind you this is the 2nd week of us stating he said "I think I'm in love with you alread" and I said we've only been dating for 2 weeks he said "well I think that you're a really good person and I think you're very beautiful and I think I love you" and I said "honestly right now I don't know if I love you because we've only been dating for 2 weeks" and he said "Oh okay" like as if it crushed him.

The one thing I will say about him is that he wanted to move the entire relationship very quickly he wouldn't take no for an answer when I said That I wasn't ready to have sex right now because he asked me eventually a month in of us dating he decided that we would be in his Room we were hanging out the whole day and he asked me I want to do things with you I want to have sex with you and I said when I'm only 16 I'm not ready to be having sex right now" and hes like " no I think will be able to do now will be our little secret" and I said "but I'm not ready" and he said OK that's fine whenever you're ready and I was like well "I won't be ready for a while because I want to get married before we have sex" and he said "well I do too but we're already here now why dont we just do it?" and I said no multiple times to him and he said OK fine and he got mad.

A week rolls by of us hang out and he was very adamant on us having sex, at this point in time we were 4 months in to dating. He and I got to the point were I said "FINE WHATEVER". I regret this entire relationship, to this day. He and I didnt go very far into it, I stopped him because it was painful. I said "Stop that hurts get off of me" and he didnt want to stop he kept trying and I pushed him off and he said "what's wrong" I said "it hurts" and I even started crying. He didnt understand my pain and why I was crying.

Then at this point I wanted to go home, so he dropped me off and texted me "I'm sorry". I replied and said "yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Tomorrow comes by, we were at school, he said "Are you okay?"

I said " I'm bleeding"

He said "wow, I'm sorry. " not even sincerely!

So, he finally got whag he wanted and manipulated me to get it. He was very persistent and I was also very naive and thought he was a good guy and I thought he really liked me.

It got to the point where everytime I saw him, it was straight to the bedroom. It went on for about 1 year into it until I spoke up and said I'm not comfortable with us always going straight to the bedroom everyone we see eachother.

Warning: this next part is very explicit and involved forceful sexual actions. If you are sensitive to these kinds if stories, thank you for making it this far into the story but click out if you cannot read these things in detail. you have been warned...

He and I were hanging out in his room and one day he asked me to perform oral sex on him. I was 18 at this point. He asked me over and over and begged like always and didnt take no for an answer, I told him to stop doing that and I said "I dont want to do that for you stop asking me!"

He said " If you love me you'd do this for me" and then he said "I've done it for you" and I felt bad so I did, he would hold me down and tell me to do horrible things that I cant even really mention because they're so explicit and it's a painful memory to relive.

He was such a liar and he gas lighted me alot and would tell me things I wanted to hear, he and I would argue alot, to the point we'd be screaming at eachother on the phone and i would hang up on him and many times I've wanted to leave but he would say if you ever leave me "I'm going to kill myself" to keep me trapped.

I would question him alot and tell him "I dont think you would actually do it, you seem scared too". I thought I was being insensitive but being an empath I would always give him the benefit of the doubt.

One time me and him were arguing about me possibly cheating on him. The entire relationship I was manipulated, emotionally and sexually abused, gas lighted, he would project his wrongs onto me as if I was the one doing them and for me I was innocent, but anyways he and I were arguing and he had these nerf guns or bb guns and he decided it was appropriate to point the gun at his head and say "dont leave me or I'll do it" and I said then do it, if you want to kill yourself so badly" and he looked at me with disgust as if I did something wrong by telling him that and it came to the point where he and I were so toxic but I had a trauma bond with him that it was hard to leave for me.

And then my life changed completely, I was working one day, i cut mens hair for a living, a guy that I've seen a few times came in and it was kind of crazy because everytime he would walk in I would be the one to cut his hair. and that last time he asked me for my snap chat. Mind you I'm still in a relationship with the narcissist and I without even thinking about him and at this point I was over the entire relationship, I was over the abuse and wanted to leave.

Me and this new guy were talking on snap chat, and at this point I didnt feel bad for talking to this new guy because of all the messed up things he did to me. This new guy was very persistent too hut in a good way. He would text me good morning and compliment me and made me feel happy. I would hang out with the narcissist and I would delete the snap chat app so he wouldnt suspect anything. I felt so bad but if felt good and I didnt feel bad because I was ready to leave this behind me. But then he proposed to me at my job in the break room with a ring his mom baught for him. we were engaged for 3 months.

Then one day, the new guy asked me if I wanted to go see a movie, and I told my mom that I wanted to see a movie and she said well wouldnt that be cheating and I said yeah but oh well, I really didnt care. So I got dressed up and he picked me up and we say SOLO that star wars movie, there was one part where chewbacca was in the cave and it was dark and they were revealing who it was and then me and the new guy both at the same time said " its chewbacca!" and then we looked at each other. He respected me enough to not touch me but he and I walked around after the movie, and talked then we went and played games at dave and buster's and he called me and I told him oh I'm at dave and buster's and he asked who are you with and I said "I'm with my sister" (total lie). That night was the best night I've had in a while.

Then I got home at around 11:30 pm.

Then I called the narcissist and then I told him what I did and he said "who did you go with" and I said "oh I went with my sister" he said "alright"

Then I blurted out, without hesitation i said "I want to break up" and when I tell you he was HYSTERICALLY crying on the phone and begging me not to leave him. It took me 2 weeks to fully break up with him.

After these 2 weeks went by he stalked me and wouldnt leave me alone for another 6 months. 1 week after I officially was able to break up with him he had a new girlfriend lol my thing was she must have been there the whole time. And oddly enough we shared a similar name to eachother. He would call me and ask me if we could talk about his new girlfriend and he would tell me all about this new girl friend and he would call me and text me about her and say she doesnt treat me right, shes living with me "I'm taking care of her child and shes living in my house for free, shes possessive" I would tell him, "if you're trying to hurt me it's not going to work".

Then he came to my job with his girlfriend to tell me his dad passed away. Which was sad and he girlfriwns was in the car and I stared at her in the car and she stared back and she told him she was about to jump out and fight me and I said I wish she would, I'm not going to let this girl try to fight me. And he would call me about her and complain about her until I told him stop calling me and telling me about your girlfriend you handle your own business else where and leave me out if it.

Until finally his girlfriend sent me a text and said to basically leave him alone like a psycho and that I was making her mad and of course he blamed me and said it was all me that I was the one calling him and I messaged him in messenger and said leave me alone stop coming to my job, control your girlfriend and I guess she stole his phone and then I messaged her on facebook messenger and I told her that "he was the one messaging me and I wasnt trying to step on her toes and I broke up with him and I have a boyfriend now and I dont want him" and she said cut the crap I know your lying and I was like "okay girl whatever floats your boat" and she called me pathetic swine lol like that was supposed to hurt my feelings lol so I finally said "leave me alone, stop coming to my job" and he left me alone.

Now my life is 100% better, I've been with that new guy for 2 years now, we have a baby on the way!

and I lived happily ever after.

THE END.

Thank you for reading my story, It was long, and if you were able to get through the explicit parts, you're a trooper. I'm doing very well now and I'm alot happier where I am in life.